Starring: Kevin Bacon, Amanda Seyfried, Avery Essex, Colin Blumenau, Lowri Ann Richards, Joshua C Jackson
OUR RATING: ★★★☆☆
Blumhouse Productions psychological horror written and directed by David Koepp. The story centers on screenwriter, Theo (Kevin Bacon), who travels to a remote modern house in the Welsh countryside with his wife, Susanna (Amanda Seyfried), and daughter, Ella (Avery Essex). What at first seems like a perfect retreat distorts into a nightmare when Theo’s grasp on reality begins to unravel and he suspects that a sinister force within the house knows more than he or Susanna have revealed, even to each other.
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Our Favorite Quote:'That's the problem with mirrors. They always show you yourself.' - Stetler (You Should Have Left) Click To Tweet
Stetler: You can’t talk right now. You can’t even breathe. You shouldn’t curse, young lady. Don’t curse unless you want to be cursed. It’s a sin, you know. Cursing. Do you know about sin, Ella? Go ahead and breathe.
Ella: How do you know my name?
Stetler: I know loads of things. Hey. Want to hear something really interesting?
[Ella seems to suddenly wake up from a nightmare, but suddenly is grabbed by the throat]
Stetler: It’s about your f***ing daddy!
[then we see Theo waking up from his nightmare]
Meditation App: Violent or upsetting dreams are merely the mind’s attempt to release the pressures of our daily thoughts and fears.
Theo: If I don’t get you out of here for a while, I think I’m going to go nuts. Let’s just go.
Theo: Anywhere. Away from here.
Theo: [to Susanna] We’ll get a place in the country. Just you, and me, and Ella. It’s so good when it’s just the three of us.
Susanna: You’re rich and retired. I’ll live off of you.
Theo: You don’t mean that.
Susanna: I pretend. It’s my job.
Theo: I’m working on the jealous thing. I really, really am. I’m writing in the journal. I meditate. I do the app.
Susanna: I love you so much.
Theo: Then come away with me.
Ella: Daddy, because you’re old, you’ll die before mommy, right?
Theo: Hey. Hey, hey. I’m not that old.
Ella: But you will die first, right?
Theo: Not if I can help it.
Theo: The thing is, sweetie, nobody really knows when anybody’s going to die. It doesn’t matter how old you are.
Ella: Why do we have to die at all?
Theo: Because life is not survivable.
Susanna: Really? That’s what you came up with?
[referring to Theo’s explanation of death to Ella]
Susanna: I love your dark side, but she’s six years-old.
Theo: I got it.
Susanna: Can you tell her about Heaven next time?
Theo: You can’t sell what you don’t believe.
Susanna: I do it all the time.
[as they arrive at the secluded house]
Ella: It’s so beautiful! I love it!
[as they enter the house]
Theo: Wow. Seems bigger on the inside.
Susanna: Oh, my God.
Theo: Way bigger.
Susanna: I love this.
[as they check out the house]
Theo: Boy, they really got rid of everything personal. They even took down the pictures.
Susanna: Other people’s families are depressing. And creepy.
Theo: Okay, here’s the thing. I don’t plan on dying for a really long time, but when I finally do, and when mommy does, and when you do too, we’re all going to be together again. In Heaven.
Ella: Are you sure?
Theo: That’s what they say.
Ella: Does everyone go to Heaven?
Theo: Hey. You got to get to sleep, sweetie.
Ella: But there was a shadow on the wall.
Theo: I know it’s fun, but it’s time to sleep.
[referring to the light switches in the house]
Theo: Jesus. You got enough switches.
Ella: Why do people hate daddy so much?
Ella: Why do they hate him?
Susanna: Why would you say that?
Ella: Because they do.
[referring to Theo’s previous wife, who was found dead in the bathtub]
Ella: Did daddy kill her?
Susanna: No. No.
Ella: Okay. Why didn’t he just tell them he didn’t do it?
Susanna: Well, he did, and they just didn’t believe him. And because daddy was a rich banker, lots of people were interested in his trial. And when it went to trial, he was on TV, and he got sort of famous.
Ella: What happened at the trial?
Susanna: The judge and the jury all found him innocent, and they said he could go home and start a new life, but some people didn’t want to let him. Some people think that if you’re accused, you must be guilty of something.
[referring to the house; in heavy Welsh accent]
Shopkeeper: You staying up there?
Theo: I’m so sorry. I don’t speak Welsh.
Shopkeeper: It’s English.
[referring to the house]
Shopkeeper: Anything happened yet?
Theo: Excuse me?
Shopkeeper: You meet Stetler?
Theo: Is that, that’s the that’s the owner, right?
Theo: Uh, no.
Theo: The house is fairly new, it seems like?
Shopkeeper: About four years.
Theo: What was there before?
Shopkeeper: Another house.
Theo: Makes sense.
Shopkeeper: House, then a house. Then a house, then a house, then a house.
Welsh Woman: How did you find the house?
Theo: On the Internet. No, I never met Stetler. I need to…
Welsh Woman: You never saw Stetler?
Welsh Woman: Well, he saw you.
[to himself as she walks off]
Theo: Enough with the Stetler.
[referring to Susanna telling Ella about Theo’s wife’s death]
Theo: It was my story. It happened to me, and I knew exactly what I wanted to say to her when it was time.
Susanna: Right. And it was time, okay? I couldn’t lie to her.
Theo: When she was seven, that’s what we decided.
Susanna: That is a completely arbitrary number. She obviously overheard us last night. She asked me point-blank.
Theo: That’s how it happened, huh?
Susanna: Yeah, that is how it happened, yeah.
Susanna: What does that mean?
Theo: I don’t know. You know, it’s just sometimes it’s hard to tell what’s real with you. That’s all.
Susanna: Excuse me?
Theo: You’re just a really good actress. That’s all I’m saying.
Susanna: And you’re a passive-aggressive d**k, is all I’m saying.
Theo: You chose this place, not me.
Susanna: No, I didn’t. You sent me the link.
Theo: I absolutely did not. You sent it to me.
Susanna: Alright, can we please stop?
Theo: Who would have imagined that they don’t have the Whole Foods olive bar in Wales?
Susanna: Let me know when you’re done being an a**hole.
Theo: I’m done.
Susanna: With what?
Theo: Being an a**hole. You know, I’ve had this cloud that’s been hanging over me for a while now, and I’ve just been an idiot about it. But I’m done with all that now. It was stupid. I’m sorry.
Susanna: About Ella?
Theo: Yeah. Yeah, you handled it just right, sounds like. Better than I could’ve. You should’ve seen the way she looked at me after dinner.
Susanna: She loves her Baba.
Theo: I’m really sorry for thinking ill of you. It was a sin. I regret it.
Susanna: Catholic school f***ed you up good.
Susanna: That was a half-decent apology. Thank you.
Meditation App: The clear expression of your thoughts and feelings is essential to any relationship. Emotional truth is the only pathway to peace. Suspicion and mistrust are merely impulses of energy, and they are not always under your control. Then again, sometimes those feelings are based in fact.
[after finding polaroids of himself and Ella together asleep]
Theo: This can’t be happening. No, this is definitely not happening.
Theo: Do you like it here?
Susanna: In this room?
Theo: This house.
Susanna: No. Do you?
Theo: I hate it.
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