Starring: Woody Harrelson, Jesse Eisenberg, Emma Stone, Abigail Breslin, Rosario Dawson, Zoey Deutch, Luke Wilson, Bill Murray, Avan Jogia,, Thomas Middleditch, Dan Aykroyd
Comedy horror sequel directed by Ruben Fleischer. The story follows Columbus (Jesse Eisenberg), Tallahasse (Woody Harrelson), Wichita, (Emma Stone), and Little Rock (Abigail Breslin), who move to the American heartland as they face off against evolved zombies, fellow survivors, and the growing pains of the snarky makeshift family.
Columbus: [voice over] Welcome to Zombieland. Life is about more than just survival. We were a family. Dysfunctional, sure, but what family isn’t.
Tallahassee: It’s time to nut up or shut up.
[as he puts his feet up on the president’s desk at the White House]
Tallahassee: Le Casablanca.
Columbus: Oh, God.
Tallahassee: Well, I think I would have made a damn fine president.
Wichita: I think those cigars were left over from the Clinton Administration.
[Tallahassee hesitates before putting the cigar back in his mouth, but shrugs and lets it go]
[as Tallahassee sits in the President’s chair in the White House]
Columbus: Sorry, just you in that chair.
Tallahassee: I think I would have made a damn fine president.
Wichita: You would have brought a real dignity to the office.
Tallahassee: You’re welcome, America.
[wearing a Santa outfit and fake beard]
Tallahassee: Merry Christmas. What would you like, little girl?
Little Rock: I’d really like for you to stop calling me “little girl”.
[sits down on Tallahassee’s knee]
Columbus: Do you know what I would like?
Tallahassee: I don’t give a f**k what you’d like.
[pushes Columbus off his knee]
Wichita: It felt so good to be on the move again.
Tallahassee: Rules are for pu**ies, nothing personal.
Columbus: How could that not be personal? That’s like my whole thing.
Tallahassee: Yeah, you’re right. It was personal.
Tallahassee: You didn’t see that coming, right?
Tallahassee: Let’s kick some d*cks.
[after Columbus goes to shoot at Madison, thinking she’s a zombie]
Madison: Oh, please forgive me!
[holds her coat hood up]
Madison: It’s fake fur!
Columbus: Oh, my God. I’m so sorry. Hi, I’m Columbus.
Columbus: This is Tallahassee.
[turns to Tallahassee]
Madison: Hey, Paul Blart. Is this your dad?
[as Tallahassee breaks hard, Madison is thrown to the front, hitting her head on the dashboard]
Madison: Oh! Whoopsie. I forgot the seatbelt rule.
Wichita: Oh, so she knows the rules?
Columbus: I told her just a few of them.
Madison: Seventy-three. Are there more.
Wichita: You’re cute. I like it.
Wichita: This is a new kind of zombie, stronger, faster, better adapted to hunt.
Madison: They’re much more afraid of us than we are of them.
Tallahassee: You’ll be the first to die, but I like your enthusiasm.
Wichita: You might die.
Columbus: Yeah, thank you for your sacrifice.
[to Columbus; referring to Madison]
Tallahassee: Do you know why she’s still alive? Because zombies eat brains, and she ain’t got any!
Little Rock: You don’t have weed, do you?
Berkeley: Do I look like the type of person that would have weed?
Little Rock: I’m sorry.
[suddenly he holds up a giant bag of weed]
Berkeley: Boom! Yeah!
[referring to Little Rock]
Wichita: My sister is gone. She picked up a boy. He’s from Berkeley.
Tallahassee: I have nothing against hippies. I just want to beat the sh*t out of them.
[referring to Little Rock.]
Tallahassee: We’re going to go get her. We ride at dawn
[pointing a gun at Tallahassee]
Nevada: Start talking.
Tallahassee: You first.
[she cocks her gun]
Tallahassee: My name’s Tallahassee.
Tallahassee: No! That’s my ride!
[referring to Tallahassee dressed as Elvis]
Albuquerque: Oh, my apologies, Little Elvis.
Tallahassee: Is it me, or does he kind of remind you of…
[Tallahassee and his lookalike are looking at each other]
Together: I don’t like you, at all.
[just then a man, resembling Columbus comes over]
Flagstaff: I think you double parked, or more, perpendicular parked. I hope we don’t get a ticket.
Wichita: What is going on here?
Flagstaff: Hello, everyone.
Wichita: Am I hallucinating?
Tallahassee: It’s time to put up or shut up.
Albuquerque: That saying is very 2009.
Interviewer: What made you do it? And don’t say the script.
Bill Murray: Can this be just between us?
[the interviewer nods]
Bill Murray: Drugs cost money.
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