Starring: Colin Farrell, Rachel Weisz, Ben Whishaw, John C. Reilly, Lea Seydoux, Olivia Colman, Ashley Jensen, Ariane Labed, Michael Smiley, Angeliki Papoulia, Jessica Barden
OUR RATING: ★★★½
Story: Comedy drama directed by Yorgos Lanthimos in which the story is set in the near future where single people, according to the rules of The City, are arrested and transferred to The Hotel where there they are obliged to find a matching mate in forty-five days. If they fail, they are transformed into an animal of their choosing and sent off into The Woods.
In that setting, one man, David (Colin Farrell), escapes into The Woods and falls in love with a Loner, despite the rules.
Verdict: It’s a mixture of darkness and humor with a lot of laugh-out-loud moments, but there are also some thought-provoking moments. There is much to like and appreciate here but it’s definitely an acquired taste as it is utterly bizarre. I think it’s worth a look just for its weirdness!
Best Quotes (Total Quotes: 18)
Hotel Manager: Have you ever been on your own before?
David: No, never.
Hotel Manager: Your last relationship lasted how many years?
Hotel Manager: Sexual preference?
David: Women. Is there a bisexual option available?
Hotel Manager: No, sir. This option is no longer available.
Hotel Manager: Any children?
Hotel Manager: And the dog?
David: This is my brother. He was here a couple of years ago but he didn’t make it.
Hotel Manager: Did you read the leaflet?
David: Yes, I did.
Hotel Manager: As you understand from your brother’s experience if you fail to fall in love with someone during your stay here, you will turn into an animal. As an animal you will have a second chance to find a companion.
Hotel Manager: Have you thought of what animal you’d like to be if you end up alone?
David: Yes, a lobster.
Hotel Manager: A lobster is an excellent choice.
Trainer Waiter – Shooting Range: [to David] It’s not a coincidence that the targets are shaped like single people and not couples.
The Limping Man: Have you ever danced with anybody?
Lisping Man: Yes.
The Limping Man: What sort of dancing did you do?
Lisping Man: Just depends on the music.
[giving a speech to the hotel guests]
Hotel Manager: If you encounter any problems you cannot resolve yourselves, you will be assigned children, that usually helps.
David: Did you catch rabbits?
[Short Sighted Woman nods her head]
David: Catching rabbits is difficult.
Short Sighted Woman: Thank you very much.
David: If you need more rabbits, I’ll bring you more.
Short Sighted Woman: Do you promise?
[to Short Sighted Woman]
David: We have to be totally synchronized.
[setting their clocks]
David: Five, four, three, two…
Lisping Man: Have you thought about what animals you want to be if you don’t make it?
David: A lobster.
Lisping Man: I’m gonna be a parrot if I don’t make it. Why don’t you become parrots too? And then we’ll all be together.
The Limping Man: You’re a complete idiot, picking one of the few animals that can talk when you have speech impediment. You’ll lisp, even as an animal.
The Limping Man: As you, they’ll catch you and put you in a pot of boiling water until you die and then they’ll crack open your claws with a tool, like pliers, and they’ll suck out what little flesh you have with their mouths. You’re pathetic, both of you. I’m not going to be turned into some animal. I’ll come and visit you though with my partner, when we’re walking together in some park or when we’re swimming in the sea, or when we’re on one of our trips.
[suddenly Lisping Man pushes him in anger and they start scrabbling with David coming between them to stop them]
Short Sighted Woman: We’ve developed a code so that we can communicate with each other even in front of the others without them knowing what we are saying. When we turn our heads to the left it means “I love you more than anything in the world”, and when we turn our heads to the right it means “Watch out, we’re in danger”. We had to be very careful in the beginning not to mix up “I love you more than anything in the world” with “watch out, we’re in danger”. When we raise our left arm it means “I want to dance in your arms”, when we make a fist and put it behind our backs it means “Let’s fuck”. The code grew and grew as time went by and within a few weeks we could talk about almost anything without even opening our mouths.
The Limping Man: Hello everyone. My mother was left on her own when my father fell in love with a woman who was better at math than she was. She had a post graduate degree I think, whereas my mother was only a graduate. I was nineteen at the time. My mother entered the hotel, but didn’t make it and was turned into a wolf. I really missed her. I found out she had been moved to a zoo. I often went there to see her. I’d give her raw meat. I knew that wolves liked raw meat, but I couldn’t figure out which of the wolves was my mother so I used to give a little bit to each of them. One day I decided to enter the enclosure. I really missed her and I wanted a hug. I climbed the fence and jumped in. All the wolves charged at once and attacked me; all but two who stood motionless. My guess is that one of those two must have been my mother. The zoo guards got to me quite quickly and took me to the hospital. Thankfully I didn’t lose my leg. I just have this limp, which is also my defining characteristic. My wife died six days ago. She was very beautiful and I loved her very much. She had a limp too.
[to Short Sighted Woman as they are trying to run away]
David: I can’t go much faster. These trousers are too tight, I’m sorry.
Loner Leader: You can be alone here as long as you like, there is not time limit. Any romantic or sexual relations are punished.
[as Lisping Man is about shoot him]
David: You’re like a brother to me. Oh, you’re my best friend in the whole world.
Lisping Man: I don’t think I’m your best friend in the whole world.
Short Sighted Woman: He didn’t burst into tears and he didn’t think that the first thing most people do when they realize someone doesn’t love them anymore is cry.
Short Sighted Woman: That night, in my sleep, I dreamt that we lived in a big house together in the city with a large, well-lit kitchen, and I was wearing dark blue trousers and a tight cream blouse and he took my clothes off and fucked me up the ass.
Loner Leader: Can you imagine why I brought you to this quiet place today?
Loner Leader: Because I think it’s the perfect spot for your grave.
Loner Leader: Where were you? I was looking for you.
David: I was masturbating behind those trees over there.
Total Quotes: 18