Here is our list of the best quotes from all of the animated comedy Despicable Me movies, including the Minions, following the lovable reformed supervillain, Gru, and his yellow-colored Minions. Here we go…
1. Despicable Me (2010)
'In terms of money, we have no money. So how will we get to the moon? The answer is clear. We won't.' - Gru (Despicable Me) Click To Tweet
The first installment follows supervillain, Gru (Steve Carell), who adopts three orphans girls, Margo, Edith, and Agnes (Miranda Cosgrove, Dana Gaier, and Elsie Fisher), to try and steal a shrink ray from his rival, Vector (Jason Segel), to carry out the biggest heist in history, to shrink and steal Earth’s moon. But despite Gru’s villainous intentions, he grows increasingly touched by the girls’ growing love for him and finds himself changing for the better.
Gru: Hello, Fred. FYI, your dog has been leaving little bombs all over my yard, and I don’t
Fred McDade: [laughs] Sorry. You know dogs. They go wherever they want to go.
Gru: Unless they’re dead.
Gru: [laughs] I’m joking! Although, it is true. Anyway, have a good one.
Gru: You’ve got to be pulling on my leg!
Gru: Minions, assemble!
Dr. Nefario: I’ve been crunching some numbers, and I really don’t see how we can afford this. It can’t be done! I’m not a miracle worker!
Gru: Hey, chillax. I’ll just get another loan from the bank. They love me!
Gru: Ma, someday I’m going to go to the moon.
Gru’s Mom: I’m afraid you’re too late, son. NASA isn’t sending the monkeys anymore.
Vector: [to Gru] I’m applying for a new villain loan. Go by the name of Vector. It’s a mathematical term, a quantity represented by an arrow, with both direction and magnitude. Vector! That’s me, because I’m committing crimes with both direction and magnitude. Oh, yeah!
Gru: So, all I need is money from the bank to build a rocket. And then, the moon is ours.
Mr. Perkins: Wow. Well, very nice presentation. I’d like to see this shrink ray.
Gru: Absolutely. Will do. Soon as I have it.
Mr. Perkins: You don’t have it? And yet you have the audacity to ask the bank for money?
2. Despicable Me 2 (2013)
'Just because everybody hates it, it doesn't mean it's not good.' – Gru (Despicable Me 3) Click To Tweet
This sequel follows Gru, who is now an ex-supervillain and adjusting to family life with an attempt at honest living in the jam business. When a secret Arctic laboratory is stolen, Gru is hired by the Anti-Villain League and partnered with the eccentric AVL agent, Lucy Wilde (Kristen Wiig) to track down the criminal, with prime suspect being the presumed dead supervillain, El Macho (Benjamin Bratt).
Gru: [dressed as a fairy at Agnes’s birthday party; in high pitched voice] It is I, Gruzinkerbell, the most magical fairy princess of all! And I am here to wish Princess Agnes a very happy birthday!
Young Boy: How come you’re so fat?
Gru: Because my house is made of candy, and sometimes I eat instead of facing my problems!
Lucy: Hi! Agent Lucy Wilde of the AVL.
Lucy: [sees she’s holding up her badge upside down] Oh, whoops! Sorry, you’re going to have to come with me.
Gru: [whips out his weapon] Oh, sorry. I… Freeze ray!
Lucy: [at the same time she uses her weapon to overpower his] You know, you really should announce your weapons after you fire them, Mr. Gru. For example.
Lucy: [uses her lipstick taser on Gru] Lipstick taser! Oh, it works so good.
Silas Ramsbottom: I am the League’s director, Silas Ramsbottom.
Minion: [giggles] Bottom.
Silas Ramsbottom: [as the two minions laugh] Hilarious.
Gru: [as Ramsbottom and Lucy are trying to recuit him to the AVL] Okay! I see where this is going, with all the Mission: Impossible stuff. But, no. No! I’m a father now. And a legitimate businessman. I am developing a line of delicious jams and jellies.
Silas Ramsbottom: [chuckles] Jams and jellies?
Gru: Oh, attitude! That’s right! So, thanks, but no thanks. And here’s a tip, instead of tasing people and kidnapping them, maybe you should just give them a call! Good day, Mr. Sheepsbutt.
Silas Ramsbottom: Ramsbottom.
Gru: [chuckles] Oh, yeah. Like that’s any better.
Gru: Good night, Margo. Woh, woh, woh. Hold the horses. Who are you texting?
Margo: No one. Just my friend Avery.
Gru: Avery. Avery? Is that a girl’s name, or a boy’s name?
Margo: Does it matter?
Gru: No. No, it doesn’t matter, unless it’s a boy!
3. Despicable Me 3 (2017)
'Life is just like that sometimes. We're hoping for a unicorn, and we get a goat.' - Gru (Despicable Me 3) Click To Tweet
Third installment follows Gru, who after being fired from the Anti-Villain League, finds himself in the midst of a major identity crisis. But after he finds out that he has a long-lost twin brother, Dru, they team up to defeat a new villain, Balthazar Bratt (Trey Parker), a former child actor, obsessed with the ‘80s.
Balthazar Bratt: You know what, Clive? Playing a villain on TV was fun, but being one in real life is even better! Heist music!
Clive the Robot: Here it comes.
Balthazar Bratt: [“Take My Breath Away” starts playing] What? Clive, what are you doing? How is that heist music?!
Clive the Robot: Sorry. My bad.
Agent: Sir, the ship has been boarded by some kind of monster!
Silas Ramsbottom: Wait, that’s not a monster. That’s a man wearing shoulder pads! There’s only one supervillain whose fashion sense is quite that dated. Balthazar Bratt. Blast it! The Dumont Diamond is on that ship.
Silas Ramsbottom: I want every agent in the area on the scene immediately!
Lucy: We’re already here. Agents Grucy are closing fast.
Gru: Yes! Wait. What did you call us?
Lucy: Grucy. You know, Gru and Lucy mushed together. Try it.
Gru: Oh! I like it, but not a lot. I don’t like it.
5. Minions (2015)
Spin-off prequel which follows Minions Kevin, Stuart and Bob, who embark on a global trip to find a new villainous master. On their travel they meet and are recruited by female supervillain, Scarlett Overkill (Sandra Bullock), who, alongside her inventor husband, Herb (Jon Hamm), are hatching a plan to take over the world.
Narrator: Minions. Minions have been on this planet far longer than we have. They go by many names. Dave, Carl, Paul, Mike. Oh, that one is Norbert. He’s an idiot. They’re all different, but they all share the same goal. To serve the most despicable master they could find. Making their master happy was the tribe’s very reason for existence. But that’s not to say that they didn’t have other passions. Finding a boss was easy. But keeping a boss, therein lies the rub.
Narrator: The tribe said their farewells. Kevin had given them something they hadn’t had in a very long time. Hope. Kevin felt pride. He was going to be the one to save his tribe. Stuart felt hungry mostly. He was going to be the one to eat this banana. And Bob, Bob was frightened of the journey ahead. And they were Off. Off to find their new boss!
Madge Nelson: Say, fellas, can we get personal for just a second? Why are you going to Orlando?
Walter Nelson: Come on. You can tell us. You’re going to Villain-Con, aren’t you?
Kevin: Si, Villain-Con.
Madge Nelson: Wow! So many bad guys in the car. What fun!
Walter Nelson: I knew it! I knew you were villains! Didn’t I, honey? What a small world! Hope we’re not in rival gangs.
Tina: [to Kevin] Scarlet Overkill! The coolest supervillain like ever! She started out as your average little girl, braces, pigtails. But by the time she was thirteen, she built a criminal empire! If I was a minion, that’s who I’d want to work for!
Second installment of the spin-off prequel follows teenager Gru, who dreams to become the world’s greatest supervillain. After his interview to join the supervillain supergroup known as the Vicious 6 goes wrong, Gru suddenly finds himself the mortal enemy of the apex of evil.
Gru: [loudly] Distinguished villains, my name is Gru! I feel like I’m talking too loud, even though our proximity doesn’t require this kind of volume!
Belle Bottom: You seriously think a puny little child can be a villain?