Movie Info
Starring: Renée Zellweger, Colin Firth, Patrick Dempsey, Jim Broadbent, Sally Phillips, Jessica Hynes, Shirley Henderson, Gemma Jones, Emma Thompson, Ed Sheeran
Story: Romantic comedy sequel directed by Sharon Maguire and written by Helen Fielding, David Nicholls, and Emma Thompson, based on the fictional columns by Fielding. Bridget Jones’s Baby (2016) continues following Bridget (Renée Zellweger) as she enters her 40s and finds herself unexpectedly expecting with two men in her life, Mark Darcy and Jack Qwant (Colin Firth and Patrick Dempsey). Bridget now has to figure out who’s the father of her baby.
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Top Bridget Jones’s Baby Quotes
Bridget: Happy birthday to me. Happy birthday to me. How in hell did I end up here again?
Bridget: [after speaking to her mother on the phone on her birthday] The annual phone call from Mum reminding me to take my ovaries out of retirement. The truth was that by now I thought I would have had a little baby to love with the chisel jawed love of my life. But sometimes, life gives you shallower compensations. And at least I was finally down to my perfect weight.
Bridget: Maybe that’s the reason Mark Darcy and I never made it. I always felt like a verbally incontinent old maid, even when we were together. Still, I wasn’t going to dwell on the negatives. At least no one at work knew it was my birthday. Or, indeed, how old I was going to be.
Bridget: I’m not a MILF. I’m not even a mum. I am a spinster. I’m a SPILF.
Bridget: [after sleeping with Jack] I just slept with a complete stranger! I’m nothing but a feckless prostitute. No, no. I’m an elegant older woman taking men for my own pleasure. Or am I just a deluded middle-aged fool?
Shazzer: [over phone, referring to Bridget’s night with Jack] So it lasted six hours?
Shazzer’s Daughter: What lasted six hours, mum?
Shazzer: A puppet show that Auntie Bridget went to.
Shazzer’s Daughter: A six-hour puppet show?
Shazzer: Tell me, were they little puppets, or…
Bridget: Very nice size puppets.
Shazzer: And did he put his puppet in your mouth? God! I feel like my days of puppet shows are behind me. I’ve had finger puppets.
Shazzer: [referring to Jack] And has he called?
Bridget: Well, It doesn’t work like that any more. You just hook up with rugged troubadors at music festivals and there are no strings.
Shazzer: Puppets with no strings.
Photographer: [referring to Bridget who is holding a baby] Give her little kiss on the forehead there.
Photographer: [Mark kisses Bridget on the cheek] I was talking about the baby.
Bridget: Oh, my God! Mark Darcy again. Twice in the space of a week., I turn up at church as rent-a-spinster.
Bridget: Can’t go back and keep making same mistakes. Must keep moving forward and make new ones.
Bridget: Oh, my God. I’m pregnant. This is it. More to the point, whose is it? This is not how I thought this moment would be. I always imagined myself in OK! magazine with the man of my dreams. Oh, Christ! Too many dilemmas to ponder. Not least of all, who was that man I shagged in a tent?
Bridget: What about the first scan? Would that show when conception took place?
Dr. Rawling: No. Ring this number to fix a date. And do bring along the father, if you can work out which one he is.
Bridget: Just out of interest, if someone did have an element of confusion about the father…
Dr. Rawling: Well, you can get a DNA sample at the amniocentesis, and I do recommend that you have the amniocentesis. Because there are always more risks with a geriatric mother.
Bridget: Geriatric? That’s outrageous.
Dr. Rawling: Indeed. Unless you can sign on for your child support and pension at the same time.
Bridget: Whatever happens now, must hold on to job. Must prove to fascist boss that I may be single mother, but am willing to roll with the ironic bearded hipsters.
Shazzer: What if this DNA turns out to be Jack’s?
Bridget: I don’t want the father to be Jack. I don’t even know Jack.
Shazzer: And what if it’s Mark Darcy’s?
Bridget: Christ, I’ll have to confess to him that I’ve been a w**re with dolphin condoms.
Bridget: [as she sees the scan of her baby] Hello, you. Is that your ear or your foot? You have got very big feet. Oh, look at you. Waving already. You’re the best thing I’ve ever seen. I promise I’ll try my best. So just stay safe and snug in there while I try and sort the mess out here.
Bridget: I’m pregnant.
Jack: Wow. Okay. That’s so much better than you being mentally unbalanced.
Dad: [to Bridget] Actually, I’m not sure if you’re mine, or that nice Lieutenant Colonel’s who ran the bowls club. Only joking. You’ve got my feet. I’ve always had very dainty feet.
Bridget: [to Mark and Jack] Owing to these relations the resulting life form currently residing in my tummy, could actually, in fact, be either of yours. I know I should have told you both before but I just didn’t. You both seemed so happy.
Bridget: [referring to who could be the father of her baby] Mark and this really nice American called Jack.
Bridget’s Mum: Oh, no, Bridget. An American? Did you have a three-way?
Jack: We should think about Bridget and the baby. For better or worse, fate has brought us together.
Mark: It wasn’t fate, it was condoms.
Shazzer: [to Bridget] I suppose we just have to hope it’s Jack’s, right? I mean, let’s face it, things could be worse. He’s pretty f***ing amazing. He’s richer than God and he has a very nice sized puppet.
Mark: [to Jack] You know what? I’m really not your buddy. And I don’t know about vibes or negative energy or prenatal wind and even less about algorithms. So, I will confess that the laws of attraction are somewhat beyond me. In fact, Bridget defies comprehension generally. But despite, or perhaps, owing to the bewildering litany of catastrophes I’ve witnessed over the last forty years, I feel I’ve come to know Bridget rather well, and I’ve spent those years caring for her very deeply. And that may defy automated reasoning, but there’s nothing I can do about it. Nothing you can do about it?
Jack: [referring to Mark] Are you in love with him?
Bridget: I have been in the past.
Jack: And me?
Bridget: I could be, one day.
Bridget: Falling in love doesn’t happen on paper. Sometimes you love a person because of all the reasons they’re not like you. And sometimes you love a person just because they feel like home.
Dr. Rawling: [to Bridget, referring to men] You don’t really need them, you know. All they’re good for is fitting car seats and blaming things on. They really just get in the way after that. You’re absolutely capable of doing this on your own.
Bridget: Mum’s throwing a Christmas party slash political rally. It’s like the G8 summit with Scotch eggs.
Bridget: You know what? I can do this on my own. We can do this on our own. One of the perks of being pregnant is no longer feel like a tragic, lonely spinster because of miniature miracle growing inside.
Bridget: I was going to quit anyway. Probably. Believe it or not, I was a little like you when I started here. A little chunkier, much less make-up. But I wanted to make my mark, too. But I don’t want to be part of your rebranding. I haven’t got the right haircut anyway, and I don’t drink cocktails out of jam jars, or post photos of my lunch on Instagram. And I suppose it’s become unfashionable to care about wanting to make something worthwhile. But I would rather be old-fashioned and unemployed than part of a show that celebrates the inane. Then maybe when my boy is old enough to understand, integrity will be fashionable again.
Mark: [to Bridget] It seems I can always find time to save the world, but you’re my world.
Mark: [carrying a pregnant Bridget in his arms] Good God, Bridget. You’re immense.
Bridget: I can’t help it.
Mark: I think my lungs collapsed, but this is not about me.
Nurse: [as they carry a pregnant Bridget to the hospital] Which of you is the father?
Mark, Jack: I am.
Nurse: Right.
Jack: A positive mental attitude is stronger than any drug. Just think away the pain.
Bridget: B****cks to that. No. I want everything. Gas, air, injections, morphine.
Bridget: F*** yoga!
Dr. Rawling: Oh, I couldn’t agree with you more. It’s supposed to relax one, but I just spend the entire time clenching my sphincter in an effort not to fart.
Mark: [to Bridget] You can do this. You can. We can do it together. Just think what life’s thrown at you already. You’ve turned disasters into triumphs with your sheer, joyful, indefatigable, infectious lust for life. You’ve managed this entire pregnancy almost entirely on your own, despite a lunatic mother, repressed men, and cheating boyfriends who don’t deserve you. Just the last few moments. Just the last few moments, my love, and then you’ll see your beautiful baby.
Bridget: What if it’s not yours?
Mark: Then I’ll love him anyway. Just as I love you. Just the way you were, the way you are, the way you always will be.
Dr. Rawling: [to Bridget] “Think the pain away.” You’re pushing an entire human being out of your vagina. I’d like to see them thinking it away.
Dr. Rawling: [to Jack and Mark] Come on, you two. Time for a little test. It’s so exciting, isn’t it? It’s like the final of the X Factor or something. Dial zero-one if you want it to be Mark and zero-two if you want it to be Jack.
Bridget: Dear Diary. And so, I, Bridget Jones am a singleton no more. Married? Yes. Smug? Well, it’s about time, so maybe just a little.