Starring: Eddie Redmayne, Katherine Waterston, Alison Sudol, Dan Fogler, Samantha Morton, Ezra Miller, Colin Farrell, Faith Wood-Blagrove, Jenn Murray, Jon Voight, Ron Perlman, Carmen Ejogo, Gemma Chan
OUR RATING: ★★★☆☆
Spin-off fantasy drama from the Harry Potter movie series directed by David Yates and written by J. K. Rowling. Set in 1926, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (2016) follows Newt Scamander (Eddie Redmayne), who has just completed a global excursion to find and document an extraordinary array of magical creatures. After arriving in New York for a brief stopover and to meet an important official at the Magical Congress of the United States of America, the meeting unfortunately doesn’t go quite as planned due to a No-Maj (American for Muggle) named Jacob (Dan Fogler), a misplaced magical case which houses a number of dangerous creatures and their habitats, and the escape of some of Newt’s fantastic beasts from the case, which could spell trouble for both the wizarding and No-Maj worlds.
Our Favorite Quotes:
Newt Scamander: [whispering to his case] Dougal, you settle down now, please. It won’t be long.
Customs Official: British, huh?
Newt Scamander: Yes.
Customs Official: First trip to New York?
Newt Scamander: Yes.
Customs Official: Anything edible in there?
Newt Scamander: No.
Customs Official: Livestock?
Newt Scamander: [the creature in his suitcase opens one of its latches] Must get that fixed. No.
Customs Official: Let me take a look.
Customs Official: [after Newt presses a button on the front of his suitcase which says “Muggles Worthy”] Welcome to New York.
Newt Scamander: Thank you.
Witness: And it was like a wind. Or like a ghost. But dark. And I saw its eyes. Shining white eyes.
Reporter: A dark wind, with eyes?
Witness: It’s like a dark mass. And it dove down there. Down underground. Someone ought to do something about it. It’s everywhere, this thing. It’s out of control.
Mary Lou: Something is stalking our city, reaping destruction and then disappearing without a trace!
Mary Lou: You! Friend. What drew you to our meeting today?
Newt Scamander: Oh, I was just passing.
Mary Lou: Are you a seeker? A seeker after truth?
Newt Scamander: I’m more of a chaser, really.
Mary Lou: Hear my words and heed my warning, And laugh if you dare. Witches live among us. We have to fight together for the sake of our children! For the sake of tomorrow!
Jacob Kowalski: Hey, Mr. English Guy, I think your egg is hatching!
Porpentina Goldstein: Why in the name of Deliverance Dane did you let that thing loose?
Newt Scamander: I didn’t mean to. He’s incorrigible, you see. Anything shiny, he’s all over…
Porpentina Goldstein: You didn’t mean to?
Newt Scamander: No.
Porpentina Goldstein: You could not have chosen a worse time to let that creature loose. We’re in the middle of a situation here. I’m taking you in.
Newt Scamander: Taking me in where?
Porpentina Goldstein: Magical Congress of the United States of America.
Newt Scamander: So you work for MACUSA. What are you, some kind of investigator?
Porpentina Goldstein: At least tell me you took care of the No-Maj.
Newt Scamander: The what?
Porpentina Goldstein: The No-Maj. No-Magic. The non-wizard!
Newt Scamander: Oh. sorry, we call them Muggles.
Porpentina Goldstein: You wiped his memory, right? The No-Maj with the case?
Newt Scamander: Um…
Porpentina Goldstein: Oh. That’s a Section 3-A, Mr. Scamander. I’m taking you in.
Porpentina Goldstein: Come on.
Newt Scamander: Sorry, but I do have things to do, actually.
Porpentina Goldstein: Well you’ll have to rearrange them. What are you doing in New York anyway?
Newt Scamander: I came to buy a birthday present.
Porpentina Goldstein: Couldn’t you have done that in London?
Newt Scamander: No, there’s only one breeder of Appaloosa Puffskeins in the world, and he lives in New York. So, no.
Seraphina Picquery: The International Confederation is threatening to send a delegation. They think this is related to Grindelwald’s attacks in Europe.
Percival Graves: I was there. This is a beast. No human could do what this thing is capable of, Madam President.
Seraphina Picquery: Whatever it is, one thing is clear, it must be stopped. It’s terrorizing No-Majs, and when No-Majs are afraid, they attack. This could mean exposure. It could mean war.
Seraphina Picquery: [Tina and Newt walk in and interrupt their meeting] I made your position here quite clear, Ms. Goldstein.
Porpentina Goldstein: Yes, Madam President. But I…
Seraphina Picquery: You’re no longer an Auror.
Porpentina Goldstein: No, Madam President, but…
Seraphina Picquery: Goldstein.
Porpentina Goldstein: There’s been a minor…
Seraphina Picquery: This office is currently concerned with very major incidents. Get out.
Porpentina Goldstein: Yes, ma’am.
Porpentina Goldstein: [referring to Newt’s magical case] It was open?
Newt Scamander: Just a smidge.
Porpentina Goldstein: Mr. Scamander, do you know anything about the wizarding community in America?
Newt Scamander: I do know a few things, actually. I know that you have rather backwards laws about relations with Non-Magic people. That you’re not meant to befriend them. That you can’t marry them, which seems mildly absurd to me.
Porpentina Goldstein: Who’s going to marry him?
Langdon Shaw: This is Mary Lou Barebone from the New Salem Preservation Society, and she’s got a big story for you.
Shaw Senior: Oh, she has, has she?
Langdon Shaw: There’s strange things going on all over the city. The people behind this, they are not like you and me. This is witchcraft. Don’t you see?
Shaw Senior: Langdon.
Langdon Shaw: She doesn’t want any money.
Shaw Senior: Then either her story is worthless, or she’s lying about the cost. Nobody gives away anything valuable for free, Langdon.
Mary Lou: You’re right, Mr. Shaw. What we desire is infinitely more valuable than money. It’s your influence. Millions of people read your newspapers, and they need to be made aware about this danger.
'People are easiest to read when they're hurting.' - Queenie Goldstein (Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them) Click To Tweet
Langdon Shaw: The crazy disturbances in the subway. Just look at the pictures.
Shaw Senior: I’d like you and your friends to leave.
Langdon Shaw: No. Look, you’re missing a trick here. Just look at the evidence!
Shaw Senior: Really?
Henry Shaw Jnr: Langdon, listen to Father and just go. And take the freaks with you.
Langdon Shaw: This is Father’s office, not yours. And I’m sick of this. Every time I walk in here…
Shaw Senior: Okay. That’s it. Thank you.
Mary Lou: We hope you’ll reconsider, Mr. Shaw. We’re not difficult to find. Until then, we thank you for your time.
Henry Shaw Jnr: [as Credence drops one of his leaflets] Hey, boy! You dropped something.
Henry Shaw Jnr: [picks it up and hands it back to Credence] Here you go, freak. Why don’t you put that in the trash where you all belong?
Queenie Goldstein: Teenie, you brought men home.
Porpentina Goldstein: Gentlemen, this is my sister. Want to put something on, Queenie?
Queenie Goldstein: Oh, sure. So, who are they?
Porpentina Goldstein: That’s Mr. Scamander. He’s committed a serious infraction of the National Statute of Secrecy.
Queenie Goldstein: He’s a criminal?
Porpentina Goldstein: Uh-huh.
Porpentina Goldstein: And that’s Mr. Kowalski. He’s a No-Maj.
Queenie Goldstein: A No-Maj? Teen, what are you up to?
Porpentina Goldstein: He’s sick. It’s a long story. Mr. Scamander has lost something I’m going to help him find.
Queenie Goldstein: [to Kowalski] You need to sit down, honey. He hasn’t eaten anything all day. And… Oh, that’s rough. He didn’t get the money he wanted for his bakery. You bake, honey?
Queenie Goldstein: I love to cook.
Newt Scamander: You’re a Legilimens?
Queenie Goldstein: Mmm. Yeah. But I always have trouble with your kind, Brits. It’s the accent.
Jacob Kowalski: You know how to read minds?
Queenie Goldstein: Oh, don’t worry, honey. Most guys think what you was thinking first time they see me. Now, you need food.
Queenie Goldstein: Hey, Mr. Scamander. You prefer pie or strudel?
Newt Scamander: I really don’t have a preference.
Queenie Goldstein: [to Kowalski, uses magic to make the strudel] You prefer strudel, huh, honey? Strudel it is.
Porpentina Goldstein: Well, sit down, Mr. Scamander. We’re not going to poison you.
[Kowalski looks at Newt and indicates with his eyes that he should sit down and eat]
Jacob Kowalski: Newt, I don’t think I’m dreaming.
Newt Scamander: What gave it away?
Jacob Kowalski: I ain’t got the brains to make this up.
Jacob Kowalski: [to himself] “What did you do today, Jacob?” I was inside a suitcase.
Jacob Kowalski: What the hell is this thing?
Newt Scamander: It’s an Obscurus. I need to get going. Find everyone who’s escaped, before they get hurt.
Jacob Kowalski: Before they get hurt?
Newt Scamander: Yes, Mr. Kowalski. So they’re currently in alien terrain surrounded by millions of the most vicious creatures on the planet: Humans. So where would you say that a medium-sized creature who likes broad open plains, trees, sort of waterholes, that sort of thing. Where might she go?
Jacob Kowalski: In New York City?
Newt Scamander: Yes.
Jacob Kowalski: Plains? Central Park.
Newt Scamander: And where is that exactly?
Jacob Kowalski: Where is Central Park? Well, look, I would come and show you, but don’t you think it’s kind of a double-cross? The girls take us in, they make us hot cocoa.
Newt Scamander: Now you do realize that once they see that you stopped sweating, they will Obliviate you in a heartbeat?
Jacob Kowalski: What does Obliviate mean?
Newt Scamander: It’ll be like you wake up and all memory of magic gone.
Jacob Kowalski: I won’t remember any of this?
Newt Scamander: No.
Jacob Kowalski: Alright, yeah. Okay. I’ll help you.
Newt Scamander: Come on, then.
Newt Scamander: People like you, don’t they, Mr. Kowalski?
Jacob Kowalski: Oh, well, I’m sure people like you, too, huh?
Newt Scamander: Not really, no. I annoy people.
Newt Scamander: You know, New York is considerably more interesting than I’d expected.
Newt Scamander: Put this on.
Jacob Kowalski: [Newt Kowalski a helmet] But why would I have to wear something like this?
Newt Scamander: Because your skull is susceptible to breakage under immense force.
Newt Scamander: [referring to the protective vest] Alright. Here, you just pop this on.
Jacob Kowalski: Okay.
Newt Scamander: Now there’s absolutely nothing for you to worry about.
Jacob Kowalski: Tell me, has anyone ever believed you when you told them not to worry?
Newt Scamander: Well, my philosophy is that worrying means you suffer twice.
Porpentina Goldstein: Madam President, I’m sorry to interrupt, but this is critical.
Seraphina Picquery: You better have an excellent excuse for this intrusion, Ms. Goldstein.
Porpentina Goldstein: Yes. I do. Ma’am, yesterday a wizard entered New York with a case, this case, full of magical creatures, and unfortunately, some have escaped.
Seraphina Picquery: He arrived yesterday? You’ve known for twenty-four hours that an unregistered wizard set magical beasts loose in New York, and you see fit to tell us only when a man has been killed?
Porpentina Goldstein: Who’s been killed?
Seraphina Picquery: Where is this man?
[Tina places the case on the floor, knocks on it, it opens and Newt pops out his head]
Percival Graves: You’re an interesting man, Mr. Scamander.
Newt Scamander: Mr. Graves.
Percival Graves: You were thrown out of Hogwarts for endangering human life.
Newt Scamander: That was an accident.
Percival Graves: With a beast. Yet one of your teachers argued strongly against your expulsion. Now, what makes Albus Dumbledore so fond of you?
Newt Scamander: I really couldn’t say.
Percival Graves: So setting a pack of dangerous creatures loose here was just another accident. Is that right?
Newt Scamander: Why would I do it deliberately?
Percival Graves: To expose wizardkind. To provoke war between the magical and non-magical worlds.
Newt Scamander: Mass slaughter for the greater good, you mean?
Percival Graves: Yes. Quite.
Newt Scamander: I’m not one of Grindelwald’s fanatics, Mr. Graves.
Jacob Kowalski: What, you’re not going to Obliviate me?
Queenie Goldstein: Of course not. You’re one of us now.