Starring: Dwayne Johnson, Jason Statham, Idris Elba, Vanessa Kirby, Roman Reigns, Eiza Gonzalez, Eddie Marsan, Cliff Curtis, Helen Mirren, Josh Mauga, John Tui
OUR RATING: ★★★☆☆
Action adventure spin-off from The Fast and the Furious series directed by David Leitch. Hobbs & Shaw follows federal agent Luke Hobbs (Dwayne Johnson) and former-British military turned mercenary Deckard Shaw (Jason Statham), who form an unlikely alliance in order to stop a new threat emerging from the cyber-genetically enhanced international terrorist known as Brixton (Idris Elba). After Brixton gains control of an insidious bio-threat that could alter humanity forever, and bests a rogue MI6 agent, Hattie Shaw (Vanessa Kirby), Shaw’s sister, these two sworn enemies partner up to bring down the only guy who might be badder than themselves.
Our Favorite Quotes:
Hattie Shaw: Who the hell are you?
Brixton: Bad guy.
Brixton: [referring to Hattie] We’ve been betrayed. She took the virus.
Brixton: [to his thugs, referring to Hattie] One of the soldiers got away with the virus. I want her on the run with no place to turn. She is a wily one. Monitor all channels and make sure the takes the fall for it. Understand?
Henchman: [referring to the MI6 agents] Yes, sir. What do you want us to do with these a**holes?
Brixton: Clean it up. I don’t care. No witnesses. I’m going to get it back. Who’s going to stop me?
Tsoi: Who the hell are you?
Luke Hobbs: Ooh. I’m what you call an ice cold can of whoop-a**.
Lermotov: Who the hell are you?
Deckard Shaw: I’m what you might call a champagne problem.
Sam: Who’s Jonah? Is that your brother?
Luke Hobbs: Yep, that’s my brother.
Sam: Why don’t you ever talk about Samoa? Did something happen?
Luke Hobbs: In life, things happen. You may not want them to, but they do. You just got to do your best and move on. And the fact of the matter is, I’m your family. I’m your people. Me.
Sam: And you’re a whole lot.
Luke Hobbs: Oh, I am a whole lot.
Deckard Shaw: [referring to the chain and handcuffs on Queenie’s wrists] Is that really necessary? Come on, she’s seventy-one years old. What’s the matter with you lot?
Prison Guard: Sir, the prisoner will only be allowed more leniency when she proves to be less of a security risk.
Queenie: If someone leaves the back door open, it’s a bit daft not to try and use it.
Deckard Shaw: What’s daft is paying one of the screws to leave it open, but not paying them enough to keep their mouth shut.
Queenie: Yeah, well, my point still stands.
Deckard Shaw: If you can’t break out of a s**tty prison like this, then you’re seriously slipping, mum.
Queenie: You cheeky bugger. Speaking of breaking out, where’s my birthday cake?
Deckard Shaw: What, the one with the file in it? I ain’t baking it.
Queenie: Who wants a bloody file? What I want is a nice little bit of C-4.
Deckard Shaw: Listen, if you want out of here, just say the word. I’ll handle it.
Queenie: Decks, I’m just having a bit of fun, really. Being banged up doesn’t bother me. I quite enjoy the peace and quiet. You know, nice walk, a bit of reading. Loads of sudoku. Like being retired. Love it!
Queenie: Now, listen. Have you spoken with your sister?
Deckard Shaw: You know I haven’t, mum.
Queenie: Give me your hand.
Deckard Shaw: Here she goes.
Queenie: I mean, you and your sister, you used to be inseparable. What happened, Decks? What happened between you? I remember you, Owen and Hattie playing out in the backyard. Your little games, your little grifts. Robbing banks. You used to give your little scams code names, do you remember? Oh, what was that one?
Deckard Shaw: The Keith Moon.
Queenie: Yeah, that’s right. It was called the Keith Moon because it…
Deckard Shaw: Involved lots of explosive percussion, and permanent ear damage.
Queenie: That’s my boy.
Deckard Shaw: No wonder we left the family business.
Queenie: She loves you, you know. All you got to do is pick up the phone, Decks. Look at me. You’re her big brother. She looks up to you.
Deckard Shaw: Used to.
Queenie: Well, one day, I just hope that I walk through that door and I see the two of you sitting there.
Deckard Shaw: How many years you got left?
Queenie: Two, with good behavior.
Deckard Shaw: How many really?
Deckard Shaw: Well, you know what I say. Never say never.
Prison Guard: Time’s up.
Deckard Shaw: You behave yourself.
Queenie: Will do. Love you, darling.
Deckard Shaw: Love you too.
[as she gets up to leave, she holds up her chain and handcuffs and laughs]
Locke: Christ, I miss our playful banter.
Luke Hobbs: You have one minute to tell me what you want before I knock one of your lungs loose.
Locke: You and I are after the same thing. Say hello to the CT17 virus. It’s a programmable bio-weapon of biblical proportions, affectionately code named the Snowflake.
Sam: What does a Snowflake do?
Locke: Oh, nothing much, just liquifies your internal organs. Basically, it turns your body into a giant bag of hot soup.
Luke Hobbs: She is nine!
Sam: I’ve seen worse.
Luke Hobbs: Where?
Sam: Game of Thrones, Janet’s house.
Luke Hobbs: I’ve never…
Locke: A Lannister always pays his debts.
Luke Hobbs: [to Sam] You’re never going over there again.
Locke: I’ve already got a black site running in London. There’s an operative there. Top of his game. He’ll be your contact.
Luke Hobbs: I don’t need anybody else. I work alone.
Locke: We got bigger problems than your fragile ego. Or the fact that a moment ago, I most definitely s**t my pants. The entire world is at stake here, alright? This thing gets out, we’re looking at a lot of liquified organs. And I mean like everywhere. And not just yours and mine.
[points at Sam]
Sam: He knows I can see him, right?
Luke Hobbs: He knows nothing, Jon Snow.
Locke: So, what’s it going to be, Becky? You going to partner up?
Luke Hobbs: I’m in.
Locke: Of course you are.
Luke Hobbs: Do you remember what I told you in Rwanda?
Locke: “Still burns?”
Luke Hobbs: No. The other thing.
Locke: “Stop watching me sleep.”
Luke Hobbs: I said, “We are not…”
Locke: Best friends.
Luke Hobbs: “Friends at all. And to watch your…”
Locke: Wash your back. Yeah. I remember.
Luke Hobbs: “Watch your back.”
Locke: A lot of back. I gotcha. Hey. Same old Hobbs. Huh?
Luke Hobbs: Same old Locke. Alright, who’s on the case?
Agent Loeb: [over phone, referring to Shaw] My guy’s in.
Locke: [referring to Hobbs] My guy’s in too. Hey, is your guy going to freak out when he finds out who my guy is? I mean, didn’t they just do a job together in New York?
Locke: And didn’t they just destroy the DSS field office in L.A. by throwing each other through it? Look, I don’t know about your guy, but my guy, he’s going to get this. He’s going to pull this off. You know why? We’ve been best friends our whole goddamn lives.
Agent Loeb: Well, my guy beat the s**t out of me at a bar in Kraków seventeen years ago, and he doesn’t even remember me. So, we all have our histories. Anyway, it’s the fate of the world here.
Locke: It’s the fate of the world!
Agent Loeb: The planet’s population is in their hands.
Locke: Serious stuff.
Agent Loeb: I mean, you’d think they’d be able to put aside any petty rivalries to save the world.
Locke: Mmm. Mmm.
Hobbs, Shaw: [after they’ve been told they have to work together] No f***ing way!
Luke Hobbs: No, I’m not working with this guy. I’ve been there, done that.
Deckard Shaw: The minute he gets involved, you can kiss goodbye to any finesse, because She-Hulk here only knows how to smash.
Luke Hobbs: Yeah, Mr. Arson here only knows how to blow s**t up.
Deckard Shaw: And the fact is…
Luke Hobbs: And the fact is…
Deckard Shaw: No offense.
Luke Hobbs: Oh, no offense.
Hobbs, Shaw: [pointing at each other] This guy’s a real a**hole.
Deckard Shaw: That’s “son of a b**ch” in your native tongue.
Luke Hobbs: That’d be “w**ker” in your native tongue.
Deckard Shaw: You finished blabbering? You sound like a giant tattooed baby.
Luke Hobbs: Yeah, well, I’m not listening to this horses**t. I got a job to do.
Luke Hobbs: Tell your mom I said hi. Actually, I’ll tell her myself.
Deckard Shaw: Don’t you ever talk about my mother, or I’ll put your head through that wall. Secondly, I’ll have this job done while you’re still putting on your baby oil. Good luck, slick.
Luke Hobbs: That’s it. You just reminded me. That’s exactly why I hate working with you. It’s your voice. It’s your nasally, prepubescent, Harry Potter voice. Every time you speak, just imagine this for a second, it’s like dragging my balls across shattered glass. And it hurts.
Deckard Shaw: Well, for me, it’s not your voice. It’s your face. Your big, stupid face. Looking at it makes me feel like God is projectile vomiting right in my eyes. And it burns. It really burns.
Deckard Shaw: What you going to do now? Throw a bit of furniture?
Luke Hobbs: For your information, I was going to take this chair, and turn it sideways, and shove it right down your throat.
Deckard Shaw: Of course you are, because that’s your answer to everything. Smash a hole through every problem in a massive truck. Well, that’s not going to work here.
Luke Hobbs: Well, I think it’ll work fine.
CIA Handler #1: Guys, why don’t you two take a seat, and we’ll talk through this?
[Hobbs throws a chair at the glass wall]
Deckard Shaw: Me and you, us, I’ve been down this road. It’s a total waste of time.
Luke Hobbs: For once, I couldn’t agree with you more.
Deckard Shaw: Yeah? Well, I’m doing this my way. If anyone’s got a problem with that, I suggest you come right here and stop me.
CIA Handler #2: I’m not going in there.
CIA Handler #1: I’m not going in there.
Deckard Shaw: Smart lads.
Luke Hobbs: I’m going to ask you a question. It’s not what you think it is. Do you like to dance?
Hattie Shaw: What, the Electric Slide? The Macarena? No, I don’t.
Luke Hobbs: No, no, no. I was thinking about the Tango, where it takes two.
Hattie Shaw: Yeah, don’t know that one. Must be different generations.
Luke Hobbs: [laughs] Yeah. Well, either way, the music’s started, so let’s see what kind of rhythm you have.
Luke Hobbs: Where’s the virus?
Hattie Shaw: Look, I told you, I have no idea what you’re talking about.
Luke Hobbs: Okay, that hurt. You just stepped on my toes, it didn’t feel good. Let’s try it again. I think you’re better than that. Where’s the virus?
Hattie Shaw: I didn’t ask to dance. And why should I talk to you? You’re not CIA.
Luke Hobbs: No? How do you know that?
Hattie Shaw: Where’s the staff? There’s two types of CIA agents. Intelligence and espionage. Those guys in there could barely lift a pencil. That’s what intelligence agents look like. And you look like you could pick up a building. But espionage is about blending in, about being subtle. And there is nothing subtle about you.
Luke Hobbs: That’s good. I’m impressed.
Hattie Shaw: I didn’t kill anybody.
Luke Hobbs: I know you didn’t.
Hattie Shaw: And how do you know that, then?
Luke Hobbs: Because you could learn a lot about somebody when you fight them. And when we fought, you weren’t fighting to kill me. You were fighting to run away. But either way, the world thinks that you’re a murderer and a thief. So you’re not going anywhere, or getting any goddamn phone call, until you give me some real answers.
Hattie Shaw: You have no idea what is happening here.
Luke Hobbs: Then tell me, help me understand.
Hattie Shaw: I can’t. You’re wasting my time.
Luke Hobbs: You’re wasting time! The virus gets in the wrong hands, that’s it. It’s game over.
Hattie Shaw: Does that mean it’s time for curls? Just like the CIA, always flexing the wrong muscle. You know, the mind is the strongest muscle in the body. Maybe you should try exercising that a little bit more.
Luke Hobbs: “There is more wisdom in your body than in your deepest philosophies.”
Hattie Shaw: Ooh, let me guess. Is that Bruce Lee?
Luke Hobbs: [chuckle] No. Nietzsche. Because I’m flexing this…
[he points to his head, and then flexes his arm muscle]
Luke Hobbs: And all of that.
Deckard Shaw: [as Hobbs is tackling Hattie] Get your greasy sausage fingers off of her.
Hattie Shaw: What are you doing here?
Deckard Shaw: Saving you.
Hattie Shaw: [points her gun at Shaw] Who said I need to be saved?
Luke Hobbs: [points his gun at Hattie] No, no, no, no. This is my house, and your goddamn girlfriend ain’t going anywhere.
Hattie Shaw: That’s disgusting.
Deckard Shaw: Girlfriend? That is my sister.
Luke Hobbs: Bulls**t. She’s too good looking to be your sister.
Deckard Shaw: Very funny.