Starring: Dwayne Johnson, Kevin Hart, Jack Black, Karen Gillan, Nick Jonas, Ser’Darius Blain, Madison Iseman, Morgan Turner, Alex Wolff, Awkwafina, Danny Glover, Danny DeVito
OUR RATING: ★★★☆☆
Action-adventure comedy sequel directed by Jake Kasdan. Jumanji: The Next Level continues the adventure of the four friends, Spencer (Alex Wolff ), Martha (Morgan Turner), Bethany (Madison Iseman) and Frdige (Ser’Darius Blain). When Spencer goes missing after attempting to repair the video game, the rest of the group decide to re-enter Jumanji to save him. At the same time Spencer’s grandfather, Eddie (Danny DeVito), and his friend, Milo Walker (Danny Glover), inadvertently get sucked into the game too. As the group re-enter the game, they discover the game has changed, and that nothing is as they expect. The players will have to brave parts unknown and unexplored, from the arid deserts to the snowy mountains, in order to escape the world’s most dangerous game.
Our Favorite Quotes:
Spencer: How you doing?
Eddie: I’m terrific. I don’t even know what I’m doing here.
Janice: You’re recovering from hip surgery.
Eddie: Meh! I’ll be out of here in no time.
Janice: It’s not a prison.
Eddie: I want to get back to my apartment. Is that so terrible?
Janice: Your apartment? Yes, it’s terrible.
Spencer: Is it really cold in here?
Janice: Yeah. The downstairs heater isn’t totally working. The guy’s coming in the morning.
Eddie: It’s like a goddamn icebox.
Eddie: [to Spencer] Getting old sucks. Don’t let anybody tell you any different.
Eddie: You still got that little girlfriend?
Spencer: No. We’re not together anymore. I don’t think.
Eddie: Was it her or you?
Spencer: It’s complicated.
Eddie: Try me. We’ll see if I can understand.
Spencer: Well, when we first got together, we were sort of different people than we are now. I mean, last year was amazing. I was a senior in high school. I had a girlfriend. Like, I finally figured out who I was, or something. I wish I could just feel like that again, I guess.
Spencer: I don’t know. Long distance relationships are hard. I mean, I know everybody says that, but turns out it’s true.
Eddie: Can I give you a little advice? Listen to me. Every single day on every single subway car, there’s lots of ladies in New York City. And one in five of them, I would marry, no questions asked. This is the best time of your life.
Spencer: It is?
Eddie: Yes, it is. So pull it together! It doesn’t get any better than this. It’s all downhill from here.
Eddie: What do you want, Milo?
Milo: Nice to see you too.
Milo: Yes, I’d love to come in for a cup of coffee. Thanks for asking.
Milo: You mind if I make some eggs?
Eddie: Do whatever you want. I don’t care. Just hurry up. I don’t have all day.
Milo: You going somewhere?
Fridge: [after Spencer fails to show up at their reunion] This is Martha and Bethany. This is Spencer’s grandfather, Eddie.
Eddie: Martha? You’re the little girlfriend.
Fridge: Morning, sir. Sorry to barge in on you.
Eddie: You’re not barging.
[referring to Milo]
Eddie: He’s barging.
Martha: [referring to Spencer’s phone] Fourteen texts and four missed calls. I don’t think he went out. I think he went back in.
Fridge: No, no, no. No, no, no, no, no.
Bethany: What? No. Why?
Fridge: Come on, man!
Bethany: Why would he do that?
Fridge: Remember what it was like?
Bethany: I got eaten by a fricking hippo!
Fridge: I got killed by a piece of cake!
Martha: [referring to Spencer] Guys, guys! How is he going to get out?
Fridge: He’s just got to take the green jewel.
Bethany: And stick it back in the statue thing.
Martha: By himself?
Martha: [referring to Spencer] We got to go get him.
Fridge: Are you crazy?
Bethany: I’m coming with you.
Fridge: Are you out of your minds?
Martha: We can do this. We’ve been there. We know what to expect.
Fridge: I got to stop hanging out with white people. I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me.
Bethany: She’s right. We played before and we won.
Fridge: We barely survived!
Martha: You know he would do it for you. For any of us.
Fridge: [referring to the game console] Be careful. It looks pretty busted.
[Martha touches the game console and sparks of electricity fly, starting the game]
Nigel: [on the TV] Welcome to Jumanji.
Fridge: [as they start getting sucked into the game] What? We haven’t even picked our guys yet!
Martha: [as she’s being sucked into the game] Okay. Okay. Here we go. Oh, I hate this part. Alright. Okay.
Fridge: This is not happening!
[both Martha and Fridge get sucked into the game, but Bethany is left behind]
Bethany: You guys?
Ruby: [as they see Bravestone] Spencer.
Mouse: What in tarnation? Where am I?
Bravestone: What the hell is this?
Ruby: Oh, my God.
Bravestone: Who the hell are you?
Mouse: I’m Milo Walker. Who are you?
Mouse: What on earth? What…?
Bravestone: What the…?
Mouse: Oh, my. Wait a minute. Oh, Lord.
Ruby: [looking at them in shock] This isn’t happening.
Bravestone: Who are you?
Ruby: You’re Spencer’s grandfather.
Bravestone: Yeah, no kidding.
Ruby: And you are Milo.
Mouse: I certainly am.
Ruby: I’m Martha, Spencer’s…
Bravestone: You’re the little girlfriend?
Oberon: [as Oberon lands in the game on top of Mouse] That hurt like a goddamn…
Oberon: What? I’m not… No!
[looks down at his body]
Oberon: No, no, no, no, no, no, no. No! No! Yoh! Oh, no! No! No! This can’t be happening!
Oberon: Yes, I’m Fridge, goddamn it! What the hell, man?
Ruby: Okay. Okay, something went wrong.
Oberon: You think?
Bravestone: Why does everybody keep calling me Spencer?
Ruby: No, that is Grandpa Eddie. And that is Milo.
Mouse: Pleased to meet you.
Oberon: What? Then where’s Bethany? And where’s Spencer?
Ruby: I don’t know! Okay? The game, it didn’t let us pick our avatars, so.
Oberon: Because it’s busted!
Ruby: Yeah, okay.
Bravestone: Are we dead?
Mouse: You know, I was just wondering the same thing. Did I die, and turn into some kind of a small muscular Boy Scout?
Ruby: We’re not dead!
Bravestone: So then what’s going on here?
Ruby: Okay, this is going to sound very strange. But we are in a video game called Jumanji, and we are in the bodies of video game characters. And we’ve been here before, Fridge and I.
Oberon: [to Mouse] Last time, I was you.
Oberon: We’re in a game! We got to find Spencer because he’s in here too.
Bravestone: He’s here?
Mouse: Spencer, Eddie’s grandson?
Ruby: Yes. Spencer.
Bravestone: He’s here too?
Ruby, Oberon: Yes!
Oberon: He’s here, and we got to find him!
Mouse: So it’s like a hide-and-go-seek situation. I’m not it.
Bravestone: [starts twirling his hips] My hip feels pretty good now. Oh, my joints feel like butter.
Mouse: [starts moving his joints] Oh, yeah. Look at those. Look at these. Look at what I got.
Ruby: We have some issues here.
Oberon: You’re telling me this? I’m the old fat dude. I came back, and things actually got worse. At least last time I was still black.
Mouse: [after he’s nearly eaten by a hippo] What just happened?
Bravestone: What the hell was that thing?
Mouse: Well, that there was a hippopotamus. Mm-hm. And they are awfully fast. Faster than a horse, if you can believe that. And they’ve got an awful ferocious bite. How about that? You know, the funny thing is, I don’t remember knowing much about hippos until right now.
Oberon: You’re a zoologist.
Mouse: I’m sorry, what now?
Bravestone: Are we in Florida?
Oberon: Just listen. This is a dangerous place. Crazy dangerous. But Martha and I, we’ve been here before. We know what we’re doing. You got to stay alert all the time. If I’m near water, I got one eye on the water, you hear me? You’ve got to have eyes in the back of your…
[suddenly a giant python grabs his head in its mouth and takes Oberon]
Ruby: Oh, God!
Mouse: What in the Sam Hill just happened to him?
[Oberon re-enters the game and lands in front of them]
Mouse: Shut the front door.
Bravestone: What the hell happened to you?
[Oberon looks at the life bars on him arm and sees that he’s only got two lives left]
Nigel: Strap in. There’s no time to spare. Dr. Bravestone, famed archeologist and international explorer, I’m so glad you have returned. I’ve been so anxious for your arrival.
Bravestone: You talking to me?
Oberon: Yes, he’s talking to you.
Nigel: Once again, Jumanji is in great peril, and only you can help.
Ruby: Nigel, we’re looking for our friend. Have you seen like anyone…?
Nigel: Ruby Roundhouse, killer of men, welcome to Jumanji.
Bravestone: Killer of men?
Ruby: Yeah, I kill guys.
Nigel: I’m so glad you’ve returned. I’ve been so anxious for your arrival.
Mouse: [referring to Nigel] What’s with this fella?
Nigel: My dearest, Mouse, surely you remember me. Nigel Billingsly at your service.
Mouse: Hey. Nigel, I thought that was you.
Oberon: He’s a, what is it called?
Ruby: NPC, a non-player character.
Oberon: He’s not a real person.
Ruby: He only has like a limited number of things he can say.
Mouse: Mm. My friend, Carl, is just like that.
Ruby: Nigel, we’re looking for someone. Has anyone arrived here in Jumanji…?
Nigel: Jumanji is in great peril. It’s all detailed in the letter I sent you, Dr. Bravestone. Perhaps you should read it aloud.
Ruby: Grandpa Eddie, do you have a letter?
Bravestone: Do I have a letter?
Ruby: Check your pockets.
Bravestone: Why would I have a letter?
Ruby: Because Nigel here, he wrote you a letter.
Bravestone: I didn’t get a letter from this guy.
Ruby: But we are in a video game, and…
Bravestone: We’re in a video game?
Oberon: We’re going to die.
Mouse: We did die.
Bravestone: Are we in hell?
Mouse: I knew it.
Ruby: Oh, my God.
Nigel: [referring to Falcon Jewel, which was stolen by warlord Jurgen the Brutal] A drought befell the land. The crops dried out and died. And if the jewel is not returned soon, it may be too late. Which is why we called for you, and your brilliant associates. I understand the enormous weight that this must carry for you, Dr. Bravestone, how this adventure is like no other, since it was Jurgen the Brutal who killed your parents.
Ruby: He killed Dr. Bravestone’s parents?
Nigel: Indeed, he did. When the doctor was just a boy.
Mouse: Oh, well, that’s terrible.
Ruby: I can’t say this enough. We’re in a video game.
Nigel: You must recover the jewel from Jurgen the Brutal, and show it to the sun. He’s making his way north across the desert now.
Mouse: Jurgen the Brutal. Is that Barbara’s boy?
Nigel: And remember, the goal is to recover the loot. To wrest it from the hands of the brute. And if you wish to leave the game, you must save Jumanji and call out its name.
Bravestone: Excuse me. Who is Jumanji?
Mouse: [referring to Ruby] Well, if I was listening correctly, that is her sister.
Nigel: Here’s your map. Find an oasis and follow the flame to the desert fruit.
Oberon: [as they’re dropped of at a desert] Where are we? Where’s the jungle? What are we doing here?
Ruby: We’ve got to keep it together, okay?
Oberon: Keep it together?
Oberon: This is a whole new thing! Nobody said we’d have to do a whole new thing! And by the way, what the hell happened to Bethany?