Starring: Liam Neeson, Micheál Richardson, Lindsay Duncan, Valeria Bilello
OUR RATING: ★★★☆☆
Comedy drama written and directed by James D’Arcy. Set in Tuscany, the story follows London artist Robert (Liam Neeson), who returns to Italy with his estranged son Jack (Micheál Richardson) to make a quick sale of the house they inherited from his late wife. Neither expects to find the once beautiful villa in such a state of disrepair. Renovations go badly, with father and son soon finding themselves at odds. As Robert and Jack painstakingly restore the villa to its previous glory, they also start to mend their relationship. The future may now look quite different and surprise them both.
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Our Favorite Quotes:'Disappointment is an absolute certainty. Everyone lets everyone down at some point. How you come back from that, that's romance.' - Robert (Made in Italy) Click To Tweet 'People, they're no good at seeing themselves.' - Robert (Made in Italy) Click To Tweet
[after his soon to be ex-wife, Ruth, tells him that her family is selling the gallery]
Jack: This gallery is my home, Ruth. I’ve put everything into it.
Ruth: Everything except money.
Jack: I’ll buy the gallery.
Ruth: [laughs] Did you win the lottery?
Jack: I could maybe sell the old Italian house, with my dad.
Ruth: The deserted barn no one’s allowed to mention, let alone visit? Your dad’s a selfish p**ck who’s never even been to your gallery. He’ll never sell that place and you know it. Stick to the lottery plan, Jack. I’ll give you a month.
[after Jack comes to collect Robert and finds him with a woman]
Robert: Yeah, Jessica, this is my son actually, Jack. Jack, this is Jessica.
Jack: Hi, Jessica.
Jennifer: [to Robert] F*** you.
[she grabs her coat and leaves]
Robert: Jessica. Jessica.
[pauses, realizes he got her name wrong]
Robert: Jennifer? Jennifer. Jennifer. S**t.
Jack: Are you going to read the whole way there?
Robert: The Dover road is famously the most boring drive in the British Isles. Ask anyone.
Jack: So you’re not going to talk to me then.
Robert: What would you like to talk about?
Jack: I don’t know, the usual father-son stuff?
[Robert puts his book down]
Robert: What are your views on Hentai manga? Do you see it as art or pornography?
Jack: I meant like how’s work.
Robert: Oh, I see. An off the peg conversation.
Robert: Uh, how’s work?
Jack: Forget it, read your book.
Robert: No, no. This is starting to get really good. Are you eating well? Did you see the game last night?
Jack: What game?
Robert: You know, the one with the ball.
Jack: We just cheer the place up a bit and get it sold.
Robert: Why the rush? I don’t hear from you for months, and then this sudden need to sell the Tuscan house by last Tuesday.
Jack: The house that’s been basically empty for twenty years.
Jack: Look on the bright side. You’ll be home on Saturday with a big check, and you can blow your half picking up stray women in bars.
Robert: Don’t make assumptions about my current lifestyle based on Jessica.
Robert: Jennifer. F***.
[after arriving and seeing the state of the dilapidated house]
Jack: Oh, my God. I’m going to wake up in a minute.
Robert: Things always look worse in the dark.
Jack: At least the view’s quite good.
Robert: That’s what you’re calling one of the most spectacular convergences of nature ever? The view?
Jack: You haven’t even looked at it.
Robert: Two cypress trees frame the compositions, subconsciously propelling the eye across the negative space toward the focal point of the perfectly central villa, all unified by these magnificent undulating Tuscany hills.
Robert: The way the light hits those windows, it takes your breath away.
Jack: No. That’s the dust doing that.
Kate: [referring to the land of the house] We’ll mark the view as a ten. But the potholes down that drive are a serious drawback. I may have whiplash.
Kate: Now, let’s see what we have here.
[sees the tree broken through one of the doors]
Kate: Not perhaps the best first impression. Things can only get better. Front door?
[he looks over the broken front door]
Kate: [referring to the ugly looking mural painting on the wall] Well, I don’t even know what to say about this whole situation.
Robert: Do you know Frank Swine?
Kate: Should I?
Robert: That is my homage to his style.
Kate: You painted it? I see.
Kate: There’s a large hole in your roof.
Robert: Yes, but it’s got great bones. Don’t you think Kate? Or you prefer Katie?
Kate: Just Kate. Plain Kate.
Robert: A bonny Kate. And sometimes Kate the cursed, but Kate, the prettiest Kate in Christendom. From the Taming of the, uh…
Kate: The Shrew?
Robert: By Shakespeare.
Jack: Do you think we can make a quick sale, Kate?
Kate: Well that depends.
Kate: On whether you hope to make a profit. Tuscany is a romantic idyll. It’s why all my clients come here. If I were to bring them to this house, in this state, they will say to me, “Kate, you promised me a dream. A dream orchestrated by Puccini, in which my worries would just float off into the infinity pool. But instead, you have delivered me a building site, whose walls seem to have been painted by Mussolini.” Having said all that, if you put your backs into it, I don’t see why you couldn’t turn this around. In the plus column, your plumbing seems to work. People care about that. And I like, as you say, its bones.
Robert: [to Jack] I wouldn’t go on the bathroom for a while if I were you. There’s a large weasel in the sink. That’s not a euphemism.
Jack: We’ll get what we can for the house, isn’t it? It’ll be f*** all. That this is impossible on my own.
Robert: Or, we could keep it. Except the weasel. They’re too friendly for my liking.
[to Jack, who’s fallen on the ground after knocking over the tables and chairs]
Natalia: Do you need some help knocking the others over?
Jack: Where did you learn to speak English?
Natalia: Bugs Bunny.
Natalia: Bugs Bunny. In Italian schools, kids are forced to watch cartoons for five hours a day just to learn English.
Natalia: Mm-hmm. It’s the laws.
Jack: I had no idea. That’s actually pretty cool.
Natalia: [chuckles] Of course not. I lived in England for a year. I worked in a restaurant there.
[after Jack’s told her he’s selling their old family house]
Natalia: I love that house.
Jack: Really? Do you want to buy it?
Natalia: Well, I can only pay you with risotto. How many bowls do you want for it?
Jack: Three should do it. And I want a nice bottle of red.
Natalia: You obviously don’t understand how good this risotto is.
Jack: Okay, fine. Two bowls. They have to be big ones.
Natalia: I haven’t even seen what it looks like inside.
[chokes a little as he eats]
Jack: Well, that’s the main selling point.
Robert: When I first saw this house, you can’t imagine how stunning it was. I’ve been thinking. It deserves to have its history honored.
Jack: Well, whatever we do, I need to do it quick.
Jack: [referring to the weasel in the bathroom] It’s still there. Okay, well what’s the plan?
Robert: Make it jump out the window.
Jack: How are we supposed to do that?
Robert: One, two, three, “Wah.”
Robert: It’s a classic technique, Jack. Tried and tested.
Jack: Let me get this straight. You’re saying we charge the weasel and hope it commits suicide?
Robert: Out the window.
Jack: The window isn’t even open!
Robert: You have a better idea?
[trying to explain to Kate and the builders what they found in the bathroom]
Jack: Ferret. Feratu. Feratu. No, no, no. Lupo. Lupa.
Jack: It’s like a rat, but good teeth.
Robert: It’s big.
Jack: The size of a baguette. Like a rat baguette.
[to Jack; referring to the Italian builders as they discuss the hole in the ceiling]
Kate: Rough translation, “Very doable.”
[referring to the Italian builders as they discuss fixing the window]
Kate: Again, and I’m paraphrasing here, “Not a problem.”
[as the Italian builders are discussing how to fix the fireplace]
Jack: “Great news, couldn’t be better?”
Kate: You’re a fast learner.
Jack: Do you want to take a picture of the mural or something?
Robert: Do I what?
Jack: Well, we’re going to have to paint over it. I just wondered if you wanted a memento.
Robert: You’re planning on removing one of my paintings?
Jack: It’s just to give the buyers half a chance of being practical.
Robert: Why? Are you expecting them to be as blind to the beauty of contemporary art as you?
Jack: [referring to the mural] Look, obviously it’s not without artistic merit.
Robert: Not without artistic merit? Is that your professional opinion?
Jack: What’s that supposed to mean?
Robert: Those who can, do, Jack. Those who can’t run their wife’s gallery.
Jack: If you’re so bloody can-do, where are your paintings, huh? You haven’t done anything in forever.
Robert: Not true. In the last five years, I’ve completed several paintings actually. I’m warning you, Jack. You touch that wall, and I will not be responsible for the consequences. I will not lift another finger around here!