Disney’s Magic Camp Best Movie Quotes – ‘Be prepared for anything.’

Judd: Are you messing with us as a punishment for being awful at magic?
Andy: I’m serious. As a three time Golden Wand winner, and…
Vera: Wait. You won the Golden Wand? We’ve heard. Now can we eat?
Andy: In a second. I’m addressing you.
Ruth: Well, can you address us while we eat?
Andy: No. No. I had envisioned this whole rousing speech thing first.
Vera: You don’t get to do the whole rousing speech thing until you at least try to teach us stuff.
Andy: Okay, fair point.

Andy: If we can find the areas where you don’t totally stink, I can train you to be sort of decent magicians. And with Theo’s skills, we might actually be able to beat Darkwood. I mean, win the Top Hat competition! Who’s with me? Okay, this is where you guys start going, “Andy! Andy!”
Ruth: If we say yes, can we eat?
Andy: Mm-hmm.
All: Yes!
Judd: Finally.

Andy: Okay, guys, we are taking it to the next level with straitjackets.
Nathan: You know, this is nice actually. It’s kind of like a hug.
Andy: It is, isn’t it?

[as they are trying to get out of the straitjacket]
Judd: This is impossible.
Andy: No, it isn’t. Houdini once said…
[in a thick accent]
Andy: “My brain is the key that sets me free.”
Judd: Was Houdini Irish?
Andy: No, he was Hungarian. That was a bad impression.

Ruth: Now do I get to work with the bunnies?
Andy: Oh, Ruth, you are nowhere near bunny-ready.
Ruth: Why are you messing with my emotions like this?
Andy: Well, before you run, you got to learn how to crawl. Which leads me to the turtles. Tiny and slow, just like you guys.

Andy: Magic isn’t exactly a cardio workout. And your parents are insisting that we at least try to get you some physical activity this summer. So, look alive!
[he throws a basketball at them, they all shuffle aside and watch the ball roll away]
Andy: Okay, workout over! Back to magic!

[as Andy makes a dove appear]
Ruth: What? I said I wanted to work with bunnies, not those terrifying flying poop-machines.
Andy: Well, Ruth, you liberated all of the bunnies. So this is what we have to work with.

Nathan: [to Theo] Look, everyone’s acts are shaping up, but neither of us have one yet. So I was thinking we could form a magical comedy duo, with me doing plucky banter, while you wow everyone with your card magic. I’ve read that fart sounds are quite the crowd-pleaser. You sneak me even a bit of cheese, and I will blow the roof off this place.
Andy: Nate, definitely don’t fart on the crowd.

Andy: You’ve got something special that no one else has.
Nathan: A protruding tailbone is actually more common than you’d expect.
Theo: He’s talking about the way you do your counting stuff.

Andy: You guys, keep working on your pinky break.
[looks over to see Nathan using his pinky to pick his nose]
Andy: Nathan, give your pinky a break.
Nathan: It was an itch, not a pick. I swear!

[referring to Andy and Kristina’s magic act name]
Theo: The “Abraca-Duo”?
Andy: Hey, don’t judge. It was a very catchy name at the time.

[as she’s captured Janelle in a net to stop her from running off]
Darkwood: Well, you’re stuck here at camp, just like you’re stuck in this net. You didn’t choose either situation, but they happened. So you have two options. You can continue being unhappy and stuck, or you can do something about it. Change your situation.

Preston: Good day, campers. Just five days until the Top Hat competition. But remember, you are not competing with each other, but yourselves. And also each other. Please report any loose bunny sightings to the maintenance staff. Lunch will be rabbit. Kidding. Ham salad.

Andy: Just show us some cardistry. You did it for me before. You can do it again.
Theo: I don’t think I can.
Vera: Don’t think, just do it.

[as Andy disappears during their magic fight]
Judd: He’s like a magic ninja.

[as Andy drops buckets full of Lucky Charms cereal and milk onto them]
Ruth: Lucky Charms?
Andy: “They’re magically delicious.” Get it?
Vera: We get it.
Theo: How did you even know?
Andy: Because I am a magic ninja.

Vic: Look, it’s one of the broken Hearts. Where do you think you’re going?
Nathan: Oh, I was just going to get some No Cream Ice Dream. You really can’t taste the difference.

[referring to his card trick]
Vic: If you know how I do it, then you do it.
Theo: First off, nice card force to your duplicate. But I can’t do the trick exactly how you did it, because I don’t have double stick tape.
Andy: Spoiler alert!

[after showing off his magic card tricks to Vic]
Theo: And if I was going to use a duplicate, I wouldn’t make it appear somewhere obvious, like a card box. I would make it appear somewhere really impossible, like your left pants pocket.
[Vic checks his pocket and pulls out the card]
All: Woh!
Theo: But that would’ve required something you don’t have. A friend.
Vera: Heh. Sick burn.

[after Vic burns Theo’s cards]
Theo: My dad gave them to me. He was the first person to ever show me magic. My dad, he was great. He died. And I just, I really, really miss him.

Judd: You know, everyone expects me to be this great magician. But I’m not. And I don’t think I really want to be. But I’m afraid to tell my dad that.

Nathan: I say I have a hundred and nine known allergies, but it’s really only a hundred and eight. I’m not actually allergic to gluten. I just can’t stand my mom’s beef stroganoff.

Andy: Ruth, is there anything you want to share?
Ruth: I used to think I was adorable, like a bunny. But now I have this thirst for blood, like a hawk.
Vera: You’re making your way up the food chain. Proud of you.
Andy: Woh. Vera, was that a compliment I just heard?
Vera: What I meant was, every day, I dislike you a little less.

Andy: I don’t perform private shows all over the world. Or anywhere, actually.
Judd: Yeah, we kind of figured that.

Andy: When I was your age, I performed because it was the most fun in the world. I mean, that’s all I wanted, to have my own show, and be the guy. And then something happened.
Nathan: Darkwood ended your partnership.
Judd: Broke your heart.
Vera: Made you lose your mojo.

Andy: Well, the point is, guys, is that after that, I stopped having fun on stage. And the audience stopped having fun watching me. And now I drive a taxi.
Vera: Man. Not even an Uber?
Andy: My car’s not nice enough. It didn’t qualify.
Theo: What about that sweet Challenger you came in?
Andy: That is a rental.
Nathan: Oh, okay.
Andy: Yeah. I had to borrow money from my dad in order to rent it. Yeah.

Preston: Good morning, campers. Two days until Top Hat, and I am so excited I may actually eat our lunch today, which will be meat loaf, as will be dinner. In fact, we’re just going to roll with meat loaf for the rest of the summer.

Ruth: What are you doing with Ethan the hawk? Ethan Hawk is my whole act.
Vic: You snooze, you lose, little one.

Judd: I don’t believe this.
[pulls up one of their costumes, which has been shrunk]
Judd: They shrunk our hearts.
Theo: How did that happen?
Judd: They switched the dryer setting to heavy duty. Polyblend athletic wear is not heavy duty.
Andy: Do you think maybe you just put it on the wrong setting?
Judd: Are you accusing me of making a laundry mistake? I do not make laundry mistakes, sir. I make laundry miracles.

[referring to the Diamonds]
Judd: Face it, guys. It’s over. They beat us.
Ruth: It’s not like we ever really had a chance anyway.
Andy: That’s not true. Remember how horrible you guys were when you first got here? You guys suck way less now.
Judd: Thanks a lot.
Ruth: Was that supposed to be a compliment?

Andy: Seriously, we can’t quit. Because when the going gets hard, the Hearts get going.
Theo: That was pretty good. You just came up with that?
Andy: That was good, wasn’t it?

Townie Teen #1: What’s up with all these weird magic kids?
Townie Teen #2: Bunch of lameos.
Ruth: Hey! Those are my friends you’re talking about. And weird is what makes us awesome.
[to the pigeons]
Ruth: Attack! Go for their eyes.

Ruth: Am I ever going to touch a bunny?
Andy: One day, I promise you will.
Ruth: Didn’t only a dozen escape? Now they’re everywhere. How are they multiplying?
Andy: You know, I’m going to let your parents explain that one.

Andy: You cheated on our act!
Darkwood: Okay. Yes, fine. I’ll admit it. I took that TV meeting behind your back. Because you were always calling me your protégée. I wanted to see if I could do it on my own.
Andy: Your treachery is finally revealed.
Darkwood: Yes. They thought I would be a better solo act on TV. And they hated the name Abraca-Duo.
Andy: It was catchy at the time!

Andy: You know why that TV booker picked you in the first place? Because, I mean, look at you. You were destined to be a star. I knew it. He knew it. Everyone knew it. And evidently I was destined to drive a cab.
Darkwood: Man, not even an Uber?
Andy: I am pouring my heart out here.

[after Kristina signed for Andy to do matinee magic show]
Preston: You don’t seem very happy.
Andy: Well, if I take the gig, I’ll be back in time for the show. But I won’t be here tomorrow to help the bunk put their acts together. And I mean, trust me, those screw-ups, they need me.
Preston: Well, what do you need? You’ve been dreaming about this moment your whole life, haven’t you?
Andy: I think so.
Preston: I can’t tell you what to do. But I know that deep down, you already have the answer.

Preston: Good morning, campers. Today is the day we’ve all been waiting for. Today your parents will see all that you’ve worked on this summer. Lunch will be lobster thermidor with a porcini and crème fraîche risotto. Feel free to mention today’s meal to your parents.

[after Andy’s matinee performance]
Casino Manager: Darkwood was right about you. She said you’d be a good matinee magician.
Andy: She said that? That is actually a little insulting.

[to Ruth as she finally is able to touch a bunny for her magic act]
Vera: You can do it. Come on. Bunny love is real! You’re a samurai!

[as Preston shows Theo the video footage of his mother applying for magic camp]
Theo’s Mom: My son is an amazing magician. I don’t know how he does any of it. But what you might not see is how much he has overcome. How much I wish Theo could see everything that I see in him. But he keeps it all locked inside, and magic is the first thing that’s unlocked him. I guess that’s sort of a trick, right? That’s why you’d be crazy not to take him for your magic camp, or institute, or whatever.
Preston: Well, I may be eccentric, but I don’t think I’ve ever been more persuaded by an application.

Preston: Theo, I cannot tell you what to do, but I know deep down you already have the answer.
Theo: But I can’t go up there alone.
Preston: Andy said you would say that. But he told me to tell you that if you lose your way on stage, just look to the wings and you’ll find a true magician to help you.
Theo: What does that mean?
Preston: Only one way to find out.

[after Theo finally decides to perform his magic trick on stage]
Theo: Magic is all about perception. What you’re seeing, versus what’s really happening. Like right now. You don’t see a deck of cards in my hands, but now you do.

[as Andy shows up backstage to watch Theo’s performance]
Andy: On the drive back from Vegas, I put it together. This whole summer, the newbie bunk, Darkwood, Theo. It’s one long trick to help me get my life together.
Preston: Well, you know what they say. The trick you don’t believe is a trick is the best trick of all.
Andy: The way to create more magic in the world is not by creating more magic.
Preston: Exactly.
Andy: Yeah, I still don’t get that one.
Preston: You didn’t let me finish. It’s by creating magicians.
Andy: You are good, old man.

[during his performance]
Theo: I don’t know how she does it, or why it took me this long to realize it, but my mother is magic.

Theo: What are you doing here? What happened to your big show?
Andy: Oh, I skipped it. And, dude, I saw your whole set. What? I hate to say this phrase, because I hate this phrase, but my mind was literally blown.
Theo: Wait. You put that mirror there.
Andy: You know, sometimes it takes somebody else to help you see yourself.
Theo: Wow. You just sounded exactly like Preston.
Andy: I did, didn’t I?
Theo: Yeah.
Andy: Okay, we’ll work on that.

[after Andy has been offered to to be the talent director at the camp]
Andy: This is where I want to be. And the craziest part is, is I realized that when I was on stage in Vegas.
Darkwood: But my friend said that you did great. The audience loved you.
Andy: Oh, yeah. I killed. I got to live the dream. It was amazing. But weird part is, is it didn’t feel as amazing as helping the kids this summer.

Darkwood: But you could come feature for me sometime. The world could use a little Abraca-Duo.
Andy: Deal. And, wow, that is a really terrible name.
Darkwood: Yeah.

Judd: Look, I know you want me to be a magician, but this summer I realized I’m not one. I just love designing costumes. I love using fashion to bring my friends magic to life.
Korny Kessler: Then you’re mistaken. Because that, son, is magic.

Vic: You should have these back.
[gives back Theo his deck of cards]
Vic: I didn’t burn them. I just pocketed them. I know, not cool. I won’t be such a jerk next year, alright? But I will battle you for the Golden Wand and regain my magic camp supremacy.
Theo: Till next summer then.

[as Janelle is leaving with her parents]
Janelle: You going to call me?
Theo: The second I get home.
Janelle: Just so you don’t forget.
[she kisses Theo as their parents watch]
Driver: Woh! She went for it, just too aggressive.
[Janelle’s parents look at their driver disapprovingly]
Driver: You did encourage me to encourage her to participate. So this is you guys.

[we see the new magic camp acceptance video by Andy]
Andy: There’s a voice in your head. And that voice is crying out, “Clean up your room!” Nope. Sorry. That was the voice of your dad. The voice in your head is saying, “I want to be a magician.”

[reffering to the painting of Preston behind him]
Andy: Scribbity-four-ish years ago this guy, Roy Preston, founded the institute. And the world famous Roy Preston Prememorial Theater. Which is sadly now the Roy Preston Memorial Theater.
[Preston steps out of the painting]
Preston: Kidding. I’m still here. I brought in Andy to help me out.

Andy: You’ll build lasting relationships with other young magicians. Even the weird ones.
Theo: Because here, we’re all the weird ones.

[last lines; as Andy and the kids finish his acceptance video speech]
Andy: But don’t take my word for it. Just ask any of our former campers, many of whom are now some of the most successful magicians working today.
Darkwood: Like me, Kristina Darkwood.
Andy: Or better yet, come see for yourself at Magic camp!
[whispers to Andy]
Preston: It’s the Institute of Magic.
Andy: The Institute of Magic!
[everyone cheers]