Starring: Sandra Bullock, Cate Blanchett, Anne Hathaway, Mindy Kaling, Sarah Paulson, Awkwafina, Rihanna, Helena Bonham Carter, Damian Lewis, Richard Armitage, James Corden, Matt Damon, Dakota Fanning, Katie Holmes
OUR RATING: ★★★☆☆
Heist comedy spin-off to the Ocean’s Trilogy directed and co-written by Gary Ross. The story centers on Danny Ocean’s estranged sister, Debbie Ocean (Sandra Bullock), as she attempts to pull off the heist of the century at New York City’s star-studded annual Met Gala. Her first stop is to assemble the perfect crew, starting with her partner-in-crime Lou Miller (Cate Blanchett).
Together, they recruit a crew of specialists: jeweler Amita (Mindy Kaling); street con Constance (Awkwafina); expert fence Tammy (Sarah Paulson); hacker Nine Ball (Rihanna); and fashion designer Rose (Helena Bonham Carter). The target is diamonds that will be around the neck of world-famous actress Daphne Kluger (Anne Hathaway), who will be center stage at the event of the year, the Met Gala.
Best Quotes (Total Quotes: 43)
Parole Board Officer: Good afternoon, Miss Ocean.
Debbie Ocean: Hi.
Parole Board Officer: As you know, parole is a privilege. And one of the restrictions on any parolee is to avoid the company of any person who has a criminal record of any kind. That would include most of your extended family.
Debbie Ocean: Yeah, that’s obviously not something I’m proud of.
Parole Board Officer: Would this pose an impossible challenge for you?
Debbie Ocean: No. No. I don’t want that life. I never wanted that life. My brother, may he rest in peace, was a criminal. I loved him, but he was a conman. It was in his blood.
Parole Board Officer: And it’s not in your blood?
Debbie Ocean: No. No, sir. I fell for the wrong person. It was a mistake. But it happened. And, if I were to be released, I would… Sorry. Wow, just saying that, if I were to be released, I would just want the simple life. I just want to hold down a job, make some friends, go for a walk after work in the fresh air and pay my bills.
[at Danny’s grave]
Reuben: He didn’t want you to do this, Deborah.
Debbie Ocean: Do what?
Reuben: Whatever it is he wouldn’t tell us you’re going to do. Look, Deb, sometimes just knowing the job will work is satisfaction enough. You don’t actually got to do it.
Debbie Ocean: What else did he say?
Reuben: He said it was brilliant.
Debbie Ocean: Oh, okay.
Reuben: And that you would probably end up back in prison.
Debbie Ocean: I’m not going to end up back in prison. Okay? I got to go.
[she kisses Reuben on the cheek]
Reuben: Be careful.
Debbie Ocean: You’re looking sharp.
Debbie Ocean: Well, if you’re going to have a problem with stealing, you’re not going to like the rest of this conversation.
Lou: What, we’re going to shoplift?
Debbie Ocean: Maybe.
Lou: No. See, this is what you do. You make me guess and then, I’m interested. And then you think because I’m interested, that I want to do it.
Debbie Ocean: Don’t you want to do things you’re interested in?
Lou: I’m interested in brain surgery.
Debbie Ocean: Well, we know that’s not going to happen.
Lou: Whatever. You don’t want to tell me…
Debbie Ocean: It’s jewels. Spectacular, great, big, blingy, big old Liz Taylor jewels that are locked in a vault fifty feet underground.
Lou: How do we get them out of the vault?
Debbie Ocean: They’re going to bring them to us.
Claude Becker: Jesus, it’s great to see you. You look…
Debbie Ocean: Recently incarcerated?
Claude Becker: Wonderful. You look wonderful.
[she presses a shiv-like toothbrush to his stomach]
Debbie Ocean: Do you know what a shiv is?
Claude Becker: Okay, stop. Just stop.
Debbie Ocean: Oh, such a nice face.
[she puts the shiv to his neck]
Debbie Ocean: You know, inside, you’re what we call a pretty girl.
Claude Becker: I’ll call the police.
Debbie Ocean: Okay. Do you know what we do with snitches?
[she takes off the top button off his shirt with the shiv]
Debbie Ocean: So at first, I thought banks. Because you know…
Lou: That’s where they have money?
Debbie Ocean: Exactly. But that’s kind of boring. So then I thought ten banks. Then I realized that would be maybe coming from an angry place so…
Lou: Good you realized that.
Debbie Ocean: Yes. Then I couldn’t even hear myself think. You know, five women in one cell. So I got myself thrown in solitary for a little peace and quiet and that’s where I finally came up with it.
[referring to the Met]
Lou: It’s still a museum.
Debbie Ocean: So?
Lou: So, it’s not like robbing a liquor store.
[Debbie replies as she is eating, making it hard to understand]
Debbie Ocean: I said, “We’re not robbing a museum,” I said, “We’re robbing someone in a museum.”
Lou: I’m sorry, I don’t speak Ukrainian.
Debbie Ocean: I said, “We’re not robbing a museum, we’re robbing someone in a museum.”
Lou: In a museum. Yeah, you mentioned.
Lou: Look, even if this was possible…
Debbie Ocean: It is possible.
Lou: Even if it was, I mean we’d need like twenty people and half a million dollars.
Debbie Ocean: Seven.
Lou: Seven million?
Debbie Ocean: Seven people and twenty grand.
Lou: Why do you need to do this?
Debbie Ocean: Because it’s what I’m good at.
Debbie Ocean: You know what, I have run this thing a thousand times. Every time I got caught, I fixed it. And in three years, I wasn’t getting caught anymore. By the time I was paroled, it was running like clockwork, perfectly. And you were there with me, every step of the way.
Lou: Oh, honey, is this a proposal?
Debbie Ocean: Baby, I don’t have a diamond yet. Come on. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life watering down well vodka, because it’s really kind of a waste?
Rose Weil: I’m old, and I’m going to prison. And then I’m going to be really, really poor.
Debbie Ocean: Not necessarily. What if we could make all this go away? Even get your passport back.
Rose Weil: How?
Debbie Ocean: Dress Daphne Kluger for the Met Ball.
Rose Weil: Are you mad?
Lou: It’s called the Toussaint. Named for Jeanne Toussaint, Cartier’s director of jewelry from ’33 to ’68.
Debbie Ocean: It’s over six pounds of diamonds.
Lou: Right. After she died, they sold it back to Cartier and they’ve kept it in their vault ever since. They’ve never let it out.
Debbie Ocean: These are all Russians.
Lou: They’re hackers.
Debbie Ocean: Are there no hackers who aren’t Russians?
Lou: No. There’s barely any Russians who aren’t hackers.
Debbie Ocean: Just keep looking, please.
Debbie Ocean: How long would it take you to make seven pieces of jewelry if the stones were already cut?
Amita: Probably five or six hours.
Debbie Ocean: How long if I told you you didn’t have to live with your mother anymore?
Debbie Ocean: My name’s Debbie.
Nine Ball: Nine Ball.
Debbie Ocean: What’s your real name?
Nine Ball: Eight Ball.
Debbie Ocean: We use real names around here.
Kluger’s Assistant: Do you want me to set up a meeting?
[mimicking her mockingly]
Daphne Kluger: Yes!
[doing a magic card trick]
Constance: Follow the Queen, live your dream. But don’t sleep. Don’t sleep. Because she might disappear.
[makes the card disappear]
Constance: Saw that?
Debbie Ocean: Can I get my watch back, please?
[Constance gives back the watch]
Debbie Ocean: Thank you. And hers as well.
Lou: No, I…
Debbie Ocean: It’s okay.
[Tammy gets a call from Debbie]
Tammy: Debbie, I am with my family. I told you…
Debbie Ocean: I’m outside.
Debbie Ocean: I’m in your garage.
[Tammy goes to her garage]
Tammy: Deb? Deb, what are you doing here? I thought you were in jail.
Debbie Ocean: I got out. Look at all this. Thought you retired?
Tammy: I did.
Debbie Ocean: Not as exciting as hijacking trucks that are smuggling dishwashers from Canada, right?
Tammy: Yeah, well, I don’t do that anymore.
Debbie Ocean: But you were so very good at it.
Tammy: Thank you.
Debbie Ocean: Yeah. So these are all for personal use, right?
Tammy: What do you want?
Debbie Ocean: Just want to reconnect.
Tammy: Oh, yeah? Reconnect?
Debbie Ocean: You’re not bored out here, are you, Tam-Tam?
Tammy: No, I’m not bored out here at all.
Debbie Ocean: Good, good.
Tammy: No. Why would you ask that?
Debbie Ocean: Because I need a fence.
Tammy: I told you I don’t do that anymore. I’m out.
Debbie Ocean: It’s a big job.
Tammy: I don’t care.
Debbie Ocean: Do you want me to tell you how big a job it is?
Tammy: No. No, I really don’t.
Debbie Ocean: I think I’m going to tell you how big the job is.
[she goes to whisper it to Tammy]
Tammy: Are you kidding?
Debbie Ocean: No.
Derek: Mommy, when’s dinner ready?
Lou: Okay, everybody. Let’s get started.
Debbie Ocean: We would like to present you all with a hypothetical situation.
Amita: How hypothetical?
Lou: Not very, unless we screw up.
Debbie Ocean: Sixteen point five million dollars in each of your bank accounts, five weeks from now. In three and a half weeks, the Met will be hosting its annual ball celebrating its new costume exhibit, and we are going to rob it. Not the ball itself, but a very important set of diamonds that will be attending the ball.
Lou: On the neck of Daphne Kluger.
Debbie Ocean: Who Rose will be dressing.
Debbie Ocean: Once Daphne is inadvertently onboard, we can then get the necklace out of the Cartier vault, hack the Met security system, thank you, Nine Ball, and infiltrate the Gala, considered to be one of the most exclusive…
Lou: The most exclusive.
Debbie Ocean: The most exclusive party invitation in America. So go home, get your affairs in order, because tomorrow, we begin pulling off one of the biggest jewelry heists in history.
[we see Tammy leaving]
Derek: Where are you going?
Tammy: I’m going to the big city.
Derek: How long?
Tammy: Not too long, I promise. I’ll be back before you know it.
Derek: What are you going to do?
Tammy: I am going to help my friend Debbie with her job.
Derek: What kind of job?
Tammy: It’s complicated.
Derek: Can I come with you?
Tammy: No, sweetie, this is mommy’s very special work trip.
Cartier President: That necklace is valued at over hundred and fifty million dollars.
Lou: Well, I’m not really a numbers person.
Cartier President: It would require its own security team, a new insurance policy.
Lou: I’m sure you’ll work out all those details.
Cartier President: Oh, it’s not that simple. I’m afraid the answer is no.
Cartier President: No.
Lou: They’ve got every inch of this place covered.
Amita: How long did it take you to figure all this out?
Debbie Ocean: Five years, eight months, and twelve days. Give or take.
Interviewer: Well, you certainly seem qualified.
Tammy: Thank you.
Interviewer: Maybe overqualified.
Tammy: Well, how can anyone be overqualified? This is the Met Gala after all.
Interviewer: Gala. The Met Gala. It’s Gala. Gala.
Tammy: Is it Gala?
Tammy: Okay. Yeah.
Amita: Oh, my God! Taylor Swift! You’re so white! Can’t we just go to this? Do we have to steal stuff?
Debbie, Lou, Nine Ball, Rose: Yes!
[referring to Claude]
Debbie Ocean: When somebody got interested in a piece, I’d pose as another buyer and drive up the price. Money was good and he was great in the kitchen. One day, uh, he asked me to pose as the seller, not the buyer.
Tammy: What did you do?
[referring to Claude]
Debbie Ocean: He said it was simple. I’d hand them the documents, and they’d slide me a check. The whole thing would take a couple minutes, tops. He was right. It all happened very quickly.
[we see as Debbie and Claude get arrested]
Lou: [to Debbie] Don’t con me. You do not run a job in a job!
[as Lou finds out about Debbie’s real reason for the heist is to take her revenge on Claude]
Debbie Ocean: Lou. Lou. He sent me to jail. You have no idea what that’s like.
Lou: Yeah, well, he’s going do it again.
Debbie Ocean: No, he’s not. He’s not.
Daphne Kluger: Yes, I will be wearing a necklace that Cartier has decided to loan me. It’s called the Toussaint, and it has been in a vault for fifty years. And I’m just a little excited.
Nine Ball: Counting down. Three, two, one.
John Frazier: First of all, I’m not a member of law enforcement. I work with the insurance carrier. Which means I’m either looking for fraud or I’m looking for the real necklace. Beyond that, I couldn’t care less.
[to the Cartier reps and security guards]
John Frazier: Whoever stole this necklace managed to get out without being detected. Which means we’re looking for someone very smart. Gentlemen, I’ve seen a thoroughbred racehorse thrown into a tree shredder. People will go to great lengths to defraud an insurance carrier.
Kyle McCallister: This is the most sophisticated museum security in the world. Every piece of art is recorded from multiple angles. We just don’t happen to keep art in the bathroom.
John Frazier: Do you know this woman?
[shows her a photo]
Daphne Kluger: No.
John Frazier: Debbie Ocean, convicted felon. Her brother, Danny Ocean, more convicted felon. She was present on the night of the incident.
Daphne Kluger: Did she steal the necklace?
John Frazier: Apparently not, she’s the only one with an alibi. Smiling at the camera the entire time.
Daphne Kluger: Ooh, so…
John Frazier: So, I have five innocent people who seem to be suspects and someone who should be a suspect but isn’t. I have cameras covering every inch of the museum except for the loo, where a hundred and fifty million dollars was stolen from that neck, your neck.
Daphne Kluger: Interesting case.
John Frazier: Some days, I love my job.
Daphne Kluger: I love my job, too.
Rose Weil: Alright. Lest we forget, this entire enterprise was to keep me out of jail.
Lou: Hey. No one’s going to jail.
Rose Weil: Are you sure?
Debbie Ocean: We expected this. We prepared for this.
Nine Ball: Yep, that’s clear.
Debbie Ocean: We will not be the prime suspect.
Amita: Okay, who will be the prime suspect?
Lou: Well, there’s a few. We’ve got the security guys, we’ve got the busboys…
Tammy: The shady guy who put you away.
Daphne Kluger: Wow! The boyfriend.
Debbie Ocean: Yep. They were going to be looking for somebody. Just had to make sure it wasn’t one of us.
Lou: It’s nice.
Debbie Ocean: Thanks.
John Frazier: So, Claude. Like Jean-Claude Van Damme. Isn’t it?
Claude Becker: What do you want?
[shows some photos to Claude]
John Frazier: Here are some photographs of you with Miss Kluger. Now, as you can see, there are many photographs where your hand is on the back of her neck.
Claude Becker: I don’t really remember where my hands were.
John Frazier: Ah, to be you. Right? Problem is, the necklace has been stolen and a fake has been put in its place. Right now, you’re the person with the greatest opportunity…
Claude Becker: Why would I want to steal a necklace?
John Frazier: That’s what I keep asking myself. “Why would this guy, who’s got everything…”
[pointing to two statues]
John Frazier: Two of these. “Why would that guy want to steal a necklace?”
Claude Becker: And what was your answer?
John Frazier: Maybe he doesn’t have everything.
Claude Becker: I think we’re done here.
John Frazier: Just a theory.
Claude Becker: Really.
John Frazier: A shot in the dark.
Claude Becker: We’re done.
John Frazier: I’m probably wrong.
Debbie Ocean: Hello, John.
John Frazier: Hello, Debbie. You look well, how long’s it been?
Debbie Ocean: A few years, minus good behavior.
John Frazier: Right
Debbie Ocean: Yeah
John Frazier: Thank you for calling. I was going to call you.
Debbie Ocean: Yeah, I didn’t do it.
John Frazier: Of course not. You were just on camera twenty feet away while the jewels were being nicked. It’s a coincidence.
Debbie Ocean: No. That’s a solid alibi.
John Frazier: What is it? Is it genetic? Are the whole family like this?
Debbie Ocean: Except for my Aunt Ida.
John Frazier: Librarian?
Debbie Ocean: Homemaker.
John Frazier: Right, I’m going to make this easy for you. I don’t want you. I just want the necklace. I don’t care. I’ll say I found it in a cab.
Debbie Ocean: How about some of it?
John Frazier: How much?
Debbie Ocean: Hypothetically, ten percent.
John Frazier: And where’s the hypothetical rest?
Debbie Ocean: Oh, I don’t know. Literally.
John Frazier: Oh, God. This is exhausting! I mean, when they said come over, I was like… You know, with the jet lag, the time difference. Arsenal in the Cup Final this weekend. But now I’m here. It’s bloody interesting.
Debbie Ocean: Yeah?
John Frazier: So it’s not just profit, it’s revenge. It’s a twofer.
[referring to Claude]
John Frazier: He frames you, you frame him, scores are settled.
Detective: You have no idea how this came to be in your possession?
Claude Becker: No.
Detective: But you were Ms. Kluger’s date the night these necklaces were switched.
Claude Becker: Yes, I was.
Detective: Does that strike you as a rather large coincidence? Are you familiar with a company called Becker Holdings, LLC?
Claude Becker: Of course.
Detective: Well, it seems four sweet old ladies, who apparently don’t exist, have recently transferred some very large sums of money into Becker Holdings, LLC. Do you know how that might have happened, Mr. Becker?
Claude Becker: I think I need to talk to my lawyer.
Detective: I think you do.
[last lines; Debbie goes to Danny’s grave and raises a martini in his honor]
Debbie Ocean: You would’ve loved it.
Total Quotes: 43
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