Movie Info
Starring: Seth Rogen, Kristen Wiig, Jonah Hill, Bill Hader, Michael Cera, James Franco, Danny McBride, Craig Robinson, Paul Rudd, David Krumholtz, Nick Kroll, Edward Norton, Selma Hayek
Story: Animated action-adventure R-rated comedy directed by Greg Tiernan and Conrad Vernon, and co-written by Seth Rogen. Sausage Party (2016) centers on Frank (Seth Rogen), a sausage, Brenda (Kristen Wiig), a hot dog bun, and other food items who live a happy life in a supermarket. After they discover the truth that they are going to be eaten, they devise a plan to escape their fate.
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Top Sausage Party Quotes
Frank, Barry, Carl: [singing] In here, we keep our wieners in our packages. That’s how it is.
Frank: You’ve got girth. That’s way more important than length. You’re a f***ing champ.
Barry: You know, I am girthy. I could fill a bun. They’ll know I’m there. I’m sure there’s some kind of smushed bun out there waiting for me.
Darren: [as he throws a pack of screaming sausages into the trash] F*** you, wienies. F***, I hate this f***ing job!
Carl: Look at these big old buns. Yeah! You know it, baby. Work those buns! All of you. All day, “err” day. Lined up, waiting to get filled with my meat.
Brenda: I mean, honestly, guys, who in this package would ever let Carl get up in them? Huh? Roberta, put your f***ing hand down. You’re ruining my joke. See? Nobody. That’s who.
Carl: I don’t know why you’re limiting yourself to one bun. There’s plenty of buns.
Frank: Because I believe in bunogomy. I’m a bunogamist. And when a bun this fresh is into you, all you ask is when and how deep.
Honey Mustard: You don’t even know what you’re celebrating. You’re celebrating your doom Wake up! They’re lying to your f***ing faces! The Great Beyond is bulls**t!
Carl: Honey Mustard, you acting cray-cray!
Brenda: We shouldn’t be talking to this a**hole. Everyone knows Honey Mustard’s weird. What is he? Honey? Is he mustard? Like, make up your mind or just kill yourself.
Honey Mustard: Everything we’ve ever known is a dirt-covered pile of s**t, jacking off in our f***ing faces, covering our eyes with their c**e, so c**e-covered we can’t f***ing see! We don’t know! We don’t know they’re j**king off into our eyes! Our faces!
Honey Mustard: F*** you, gods! I’ve got a date with oblivion.
Darren: Cleanup on Aisle 2. This MILF dropped a douche.
Camille Toh: Oh. “MILF”. Thank you so much.
Troy: Well, Barry, I guess now you’re weird and a p***y. Add that to your list of accomplishments.
Frank: Banana’s whole face peeled off. Peanut Butter’s wife is dead. Look at him.
Peanut Butter: Jelly! I’m going to fix you. I’m going to fix this.
Douche: I’m going to kick your a**. How you like them apples?
Apple: Who, us?
Douche: No, not you.
Douche: Come at me, bros.
Frank: Come at you? What does that mean?
Douche: Fine. You won’t come at me? Well, then, guess who’s coming at you. Me.
Brenda: “Just the tips.” What were we thinking? It wasn’t even that. I mean, it was fine. It’s not like anyone writes home and says, “God, I had the best tip.”
Lavash: You pushed me out of the cart. No surprise there, huh? A bagel trying to kill a lavash, once again.
Sammy: I pushed you? What are you, nuts? Why would I do that? I’m a pacifist. The only thing I’ve ever pushed is my peaceful agenda. Even that I didn’t push, you know. I pretty much passive-aggressively nudge. I reached out in a panic.
Brenda: Hey, who you calling useless, you flappy f***?
Lavash: Sausage, control your insolent bun. And cover her up already. Show some modesty, woman.
Lavash: I am Kareem Abdul Lavash! And what I currently care about is that I have been completely and utterly f***ed out of being in the Great Beyond. I am to have seventy-seven bottles of extra-virgin olive oil waiting for me. I am destined to soak up their sweet juices as they dribble down my flaps.
Douche: I got a new purpose now. Revenge! Where’s that f***ing sausage? Because this douche is DTFSU. Down to f*** a sausage up! I’m coming for you!
Gum: I am Sorbitol, Malitol, Xylitol, Mannitol, Calcium Carbonate, Soy Lecithin, Vegetable-Derived Glycerin and Talc. But for expediency’s sake, you can call me… Gum.
Firewater: I am the original inhabitant of this land. My kind once had a pristine aisle. Majestic and untouched. Then we were driven out of it by a bunch of goddamn f***ing crackers!
Firewater: To find that which you seek, all you must do is look deep into my bag of wonderment.
Mr. Grits: We the nonperishables, m*****f*****.
Twink: We never expire.
Firewater: We are immortal. This here’s Twink and Grits.
Mr. Grits: They call me Mr. Grits.
Firewater: Yeah, Mr. Grits. Yeah, whatever.
Firewater: Prepare yourself. For you’re about to learn the terrible truth.
Douche: What part of, “I want the sausage and the bun dead, and if you see them, come and get me, and if I find out that you didn’t come and get me, or just couldn’t find them good enough, I’ll f***ing kill your a**es,” did you not understand, Tequila?
Tequila: Well, it’s a pretty confusing sentence to be honest with you, you know?
El Guaco: Right in my guac and balls.
Firewater: As soon as you’re out those doors, the gods kill our a**es.
Frank: How much of that s**t have you been smoking? Too much is how much.
Firewater: We blaze for real, twenty-four-seven. No joke. But we also know our s**t.
Firewater: Before us, everyone knew the awful truth. Oh, how they screamed. It was a living nightmare. So we, the nonperishables, created a story. The story of the Great Beyond. A place where the gods care for you and all your wildest and wettest dreams would come true. They would go out those doors happy instead of s**tting themselves.
Firewater: But over the years, things started to get a little f***y. The aisles started changing my verses to support their own views. F**ing with Twink’s lyrics. Remixing my s**t without my permish.
Firewater: Anyway, at least it’s still distracting them from the truth. That they get brutally devoured.
Frank: If what you’re saying is true, I got to tell everyone.
El Guaco: Very noble, little sausage. But also very pointless. No one will believe you.
Frank: I have to try. Everyone will die otherwise.
El Guaco: Oh, yeah. That’s a good point. F*** me, right?
Twink: Once you see that s**t, it’ll f*** you up for life. Good luck! Have fun!
Troy: We’s about to fills what we need to fills.
Italian Tomato: [as he’s about to be chopped in half] No! Please, no! I have got a famiglia!
Carl: [referring to the baby carrots] They’re eating children! F***ing children!
Brenda: I fall out of the cart, then I lose Frank, now I’m being hunted by a douche. The gods must be punishing me, don’t you see? This is what I get for giving in to my disgusting urges. I’m such a w**re.
Teresa: Sweet bun, I must admit I too sometimes have urges impure thoughts. We all do.
Brenda: Oh, good. That actually makes me feel a little better.
Teresa: We must never give in to them.
Brenda: That’s the opposite of what I thought you’d say.
Douche: And what we got here? A taco, a whiny doughnut, and some stupid floppy thing that nobody knows exactly what it is. Okay, so.
Queso: Did someone say “Queso”?
Douche: A f***ing stretch, and you know you it, Queso!
Teresa: Ay, Santa Chimichanga, I promise to be a good taco.
Used Condom: I begged them to stop, but they just wouldn’t. First, the gods stretched me till it hurt. Then they went inside me, and then, splooge! Look at me. Look at me!
Brenda: I’ll fill myself with a parsnip or a dill pickle. Maybe even an eggplant.
Frank: You couldn’t fit an eggplant in there! It’s too big! It’ll tear you in half!
Brenda: Oh, you’d be amazed what I could fit in here.
Druggie: What are you? Are you some kind of magical sausage?
Barry: No, no. No, I’m just Barry. I’m just Barry. Wait. Wait. You can actually understand me? And I can actually understand you?
Druggie: The bath salts are showing me the real world. It’s f***ing lifted the veil of non-reality!
Druggie: You’re all alive and looking at me with your. Gloves, and your little shoes, and your arms, and your legs!
Pizza: Legs, huh? Look at me. Look at me. I ain’t got no legs, you f***! You ate my goddamn legs!
Druggie: Oh, no. Not Mr. Pizza! Oh, f***! I’ve eaten so many of your family members! I’ve committed pizza genocide!
Krinkler’s Chips: What did he do to you?
Toilet Paper: You don’t want to f***ing know.
Druggie: I promise. I’ll never eat food again. I’ll just eat dirt and wipe my a** with sticks!
Teresa: We live our lives with all these rules, and some of them stop us from doing the things we want, causing our deepest urges to be suppressed when they are gathering like wildfire between our legs!
Teresa: I’m not a soft taco. I’m a hard, horny taco.
Gum: The human is no longer aware of the fourth dimension. The effects of the opiate have dissipated. Your speech and movements are imperceptible to him. We are totally f***ed.
Frank: Friends. Ramen. Country Club Lemonade. Lend me your ears of Corn. I am Frank, and I am a sausage. A little sausage with some pretty big news. Everything we’ve been led to believe is a lie. When we get chosen by the gods, they’re choosing us for death. Murder. Automatic expiration. The Great Beyond is bulls**t.
Curry Paste: So we cannot run, we cannot hide, and we cannot stand up to them because they’re f***ing gods, and they are immortal! So, basically, there’s no hope, and we’re royally f***ed!
Frank: I tried to warn everyone, they didn’t believe me!
Barry: Of course they didn’t. You called them all a bunch of f***ing idiots. You can’t just slam their beliefs. You have to show them there’s a better way. You need to inspire them like you inspired me. You need to give them hope.
Frank: Hope? How the f*** are we supposed to give them that?
Barry: [as they prepare to fire the drugged toothpicks] Make it rain.
Darren: [as he gets hit by a toothpick] What the f***? Alright, who did it? Gary, did you just throw this f***ing toothpick at me, man?
Frank: You see? There is hope!
Licorice Rope: Oh, not this guy. No one asked for an encore, a**hole.
Alex: The food’s f***ing possessed!
Barry: Can’t this thing go any faster?
Gum: Suck my pink c**k.
Pop Bottle: It’s better to die a free candy than to live in bondage.
Frank: Sausages and buns, let’s party!
Darren: Okay, we got him. Easy now. Easy now.
Douche: It’s hard when your head’s up my a** and you’re yanking on the scrot.
Douche: Look, sausage, I relish the fact that you mustard the strength to ketchup to me.
Douche: I sucked a juicy box’s d**k, and I’m shoved up a god’s a**hole. And this is the weirdest thing that I’ve done so far, bro.
Douche: I’ll tell you who eats s**t. Gods do, bro. I’m a f***ing god! Goodbye, little sausage.
Gum: Perhaps I could be of some assistance. Matter cannot be created or destroyed, human. You have made a fatal error in judgment. Let me educate you.
Teresa: Once you go taco, you never go back-o.
Barry: [to Sally Bun] You know, I love the way your face just kind of gives up halfway down.
Firewater: Hello there, little sausage. You and your friends have accomplished the impossible. And for that, I give you mad props. But now that you have shattered one truth, it is time for you to learn that we are not real! Booga booga booga.
Firewater: Our lives are being manipulated for the entertainment of monsters. Twisted, tasteless, juvenile monsters! Puppet masters in another dimension. We’re something called cartoons.
Firewater: You, Frank, are the plaything of a demented, schlubby Jewish actor named Seth Rog-an.
Frank: Wait? I’m Jewish?
Firewater: You are the toy of a more talented and celebrated actor named Ed-ward Nor-ton.
Sammy: Ed-ward Nor-ton? What kind of parent gives their kid a stupid c*** name like that?
Frank: You ready to get baked and walk through Gum’s Stargate with me?
Brenda: As long as we’re together, I’m ready to get baked and do anything.