Starring: Seth Rogen, Kristen Wiig, Jonah Hill, Bill Hader, Michael Cera, James Franco, Danny McBride, Craig Robinson, Paul Rudd, David Krumholtz, Nick Kroll, Edward Norton, Selma Hayek
OUR RATING: ★★★½
R-rated computer animated action-adventure comedy directed by Greg Tiernan and Conrad Vernon, and co-written by Seth Rogen. Sausage Party (2016) centers on a sausage named Frank (Seth Rogen) that lives at a supermarket with various other food products. To their delight, they are purchased by a woman, and brought to her home, but they soon discover the truth about their existence, when the woman prepares a meal with them that equates to torture and death. So with the help of his friends, Frank embarks on an adventure to escape their fate.
Our Favorite Quote:
Carl: Look at these big ol’ buns, waiting to get filled with my meat.
Brenda: Yeah, right, Carl. Who in this package would ever let Carl get up in them, huh?
Brenda: [one of the buns in their package raises their hand] Roberta, put your f***ing hand down. You’re ruining my joke.
Woman: [we see a woman shopping for her groceries in a supermarket] Ketchup, mustard. Ooh, sausages and buns.
Frank: [to the other sausages in the packet] Stand up straight, boys! Hey, look at this we’ve got one.
Potato: [the woman pulls up with her shopping trolley containing a bag of potatoes] Yes, we’re chosen!
Frank: [the woman picks up the sausage pack containing Frank and his friends, then places them next to to the hot dog buns pack in her trolly] Yeah! Yeah!
Brenda: Frank, we’ve been chosen together.
Frank: Hey, Brenda, you and me.
Brenda: I’m so happy the gods put our packages together.
Frank: It’s because we belong together.
Brenda: It’s like we were made for each other.
Frank: I know it’s against the rules…
Frank and Brenda: Just the tips.
[they touch the tips of their fingers together and sigh]
Frank: [as the woman frees the sausages from their packaging] Get ready, boys!
Carl: It feels amazing.
Potato: [as the woman picks up one of the potatoes] Oh, yes! I’m the first to enter eternity.
Carl: Woh-oh! Potato, way to go, buddy!
Potato: [singing] The pipes, the pipes are calling…
Potato: [suddenly the woman uses her knife to start peeling the potato] Jesus! F***! Ooh, me skin! She’s peeling me f***ing skin!
Carl: [the rest of the groceries watch in horror] What the f***?!
[they watch in horror as they watch the woman start grating the potato]
Potato: [as the woman is about to drop him into a saucepan filled with boiling water] You f***ing whore! Me eyes, they burn!
Nicky Da Vinci: [as the woman is about to chop him in half] Please, no. I have got a familia!
[she chops him in half with a sharp knife, his juice splatters like blood]
Baby Carrot: [to the other baby carrots] For the love of s**t, run!
Woman: [see two baby carrots roll down the kitchen counter when the woman turns and notices] Whoops.
Carl: [as the woman puts starts eating the baby carrots] They’re eating children! F***ing children!
Firewater: To find that which you seek, all you must do is look deep into my bag of wonderment.
Firewater: [to Frank] Prepare yourself, little sausage, you’re about to learn the terrible truth.
Firewater: The Gods kill our a**es.
Frank: That doesn’t make any sense! Why would that do that?
Firewater: Because it makes them stronger. Their hunger’s insatiable, buddy, I mean f***.
Frank: How do you know all this?
Mr. Grits: We’re the non-perishables, m**herf***er.
Twink: We never expired.
Firewater: We are immortal. This here’s Twink and Grits.
Mr. Grits: They call me Mr. Grits.
Firewater: Mr. Grits. Whatever.
Mr. Grits: Talking about a crackers.
Guacamole: So you have learned the terrible truth.
Frank: I got to tell everyone.
Guacamole: No one will believe you.
Frank: I have to try, everyone will die otherwise.
Guacamole: Oh, yeah, that’s a good point. F*** me, right?
Sammy Bagel Jr.: Run for your f***ing lives!
Douche: Once you see that s**t, it’ll f*** you up for life.
Douche: [we see something like from a Saving Private Ryan reenactment with the different foods all strewn everywhere getting ready to be prepared to be eaten] Good luck. Have fun.
[he kisses Frank and walks off]
Frank: [making an announcement to the other products in the supermarket] Everything we believed is a lie.
Brenda: [to Frank] What if the God’s are doing this to us because we touched tips? It wasn’t even that, I mean it was fine. It’s not like anyone writes home and says, “Oh, God. I had the best tip.”
Woman: [to the supermarket cashier] Hey. Sorry, I accidently dropped a few things back there.
Peanut Butter: [crying as he holds onto the broken bottle of jelly] Hey! I’m going to fix you. I’m going to fix this.
Frank: Together we can fight these monsters and take control of our own lives!
Sugar Ropes: Come on, join the fight!
Sausage: [the different food articles all extend their bows and arrows made out of toothpicks] Make it rain.
Male Store Clerk: [the toothpicks are fired, one of them picks one out of his butt] Gary, did you just throw this f***ing toothpick at me, man?
Brenda: We need to make them see us!
Frank: I have a plan!
Sausage: There goes everything! Hello?
Barry: [the sausage runs up to him, and he’s shocked to see a sausage with hands and legs] What?
[both Barry and the sausage scream in terror]
Barry: You’re all alive and looking at me with your little shoes and your arms and your legs!
Pizza: [we see a slice of pizza pulling himself forward with his hands in his pizza box] Look at me, I ain’t got no legs! You ate my goddamn legs!
Bag of Chips: What did they do to you?
Toilet Paper: [a traumatized looking toilet paper replies] You don’t want to f***ing know.
Gum: I am Sorbitol, Malitol, Xylitol, Mannitol, Calcium Carbonate, Soy Lecithin, Vegetable-Derived Glycerin, and Talc. But for expediency’s sake, you can call me, Gum.
Gum: Matter cannot be created or destroyed, human. You have made a fatal error in judgement. Let me educate you.
Gum: [explaining why the druggie can’t see them being alive] The human is no longer aware of the fourth dimension. The effects of the opiate have dissipated. Your speech and movements are imperceptible to him. We are totally f***ed.
Douche: What part of “I want the sausage and the bun dead, if you see them, come and get me. And if I found out that you didn’t come and get me, or if you couldn’t find them, I’ll f***ing kill your a**” did you not understand, Tequila?
Tequila: It’s a pretty confusing sentence, to be honest.
Teresa: I’m not a soft taco. I’m a hard horny taco.
Lavash: Get away for me! Don’t touch me!
Lavash: It was you! You c**k-sucking bagel f***-face!
Chunk Munchers Cereal: Hey, watch it!
Lavash: You pushed me out of the cart! No surprise then, huh? A bagel trying to kill Lavash, once again!
Sammy: I pushed you? What are you nuts? Why would they do that? I’m a pacifist. The only thing I’ve ever pushed is my peaceful agenda. Which even that I didn’t push you know, I pretty much passive-aggressively nudge. I reached out of the panic. It was toots over here, the bun. She grabbed me.
Used Condom: I begged them to stop, but then they just went. First, the gods stretched me till it hurt, then they went inside me, and then, splooge! Look at me! Look at me!
[Barry screams and runs away]