Starring: Jason Statham, Li Bingbing, Rainn Wilson, Page Kennedy, Ruby Rose, Winston Chao, Cliff Curtis, Robert Taylor
OUR RATING: ★★★☆☆
Sci-fi action horror directed by Jon Turteltaub. The Meg is set on a deep-sea submersible which has been attacked by a massive creature, previously thought to be extinct, and now lies disabled at the bottom of the deepest trench in the Pacific, with its crew trapped inside. With time running out, expert deep sea rescue diver Jonas Taylor (Jason Statham) is recruited by a visionary Chinese oceanographer, Dr. Minway Zhang (Winston Chao), against the wishes of his daughter, Suyin (Li Bingbing), to save the crew and the ocean itself from this unstoppable threat, a pre-historic 75-foot-long shark known as the Megalodon. Years before, Taylor had encountered this same terrifying creature. Now, teamed with Suyin, he must confront his fears and risk his own life to save everyone trapped below, bringing him face to face once more with the greatest and largest predator of all time.
Jonas Taylor: [over radio] Look at the sonar. Let me know what you find.
D’Angelo: So far nothing new, my friend. It just keeps getting worse.
Thai Boat Captain: You drink too much.
Jonas Taylor: Hey, now you’re only saying that because I literally have a beer in my hand.
Thai Boat Captain: You always have beer in your hand. You know why?
Jonas Taylor: Because I drink too much?
Jonas Taylor: Hey, I mean no offense, Dr. Zhang. I mean, if there was two people on this planet that could get me back into the water, it’s probably you two. But you can’t. You’re going to tell me your problem, and I’ll say no. You’re going to offer me money. I’ll still say no. You’re going to appeal to my better nature, and I’m going to say no. Because I don’t have one.
Jonas Taylor: Who’s he?
Morris: I’m the guy who paid for all this.
Jonas Taylor: Uh-huh.
Morris: [referring to Taylor] You know, he looks heroic and he walks fast, but he’s kind of got a negative attitude.
Heller: He’s in perfect shape.
Jonas Taylor: Just like the last time you examined me.
Mac: Suyin took a glider fifteen minutes ago. She’s planning on taking the Origin back up.
Jonas Taylor: Take me to the sub.
Heller: We’re not done here.
Jonas Taylor: Yeah, we are. Lori’s running out of air, and we’re in international waters, which means legally I can beat the ever-loving s**t out of you and get away with it.
Mac: It’s true. Legally, I mean.
Jonas Taylor: Hello, skipper.
Meiying: You must be the crazy guy.
Jonas Taylor: Now who called me that?
Meiying: My mom. Dr. Heller.
Jonas Taylor: Yeah, well, I’m not crazy. I’ve just seen things no one else has.
Meiying: That’s the definition of crazy.
Meiying: Granddad says Mom needs to move on, but mom says she needs some more time because she was married to an a-hole.
Jonas Taylor: Sounds like your mom’s got a point. You know a lot.
Meiying: Eight-year-olds hear everything.
Suyin: My God! It’s a shark. It’s like twenty, twenty-five meters.
Jonas Taylor: It’s a megalodon.
Jonas Taylor: I’m so glad I’m not crazy.
Suyin: You couldn’t bring Toshi back? Why not?
Jonas Taylor: He closed the hatch. He saved us.
Suyin: You left him. You left him because that’s who you are. You are the guy who leaves people behind.
Jonas Taylor: You go that deep, you take your life in your hands. It was your choice to send them down.
Suyin: This is what attacked us. A megalodon.
DJ: How big is that thing?
Suyin: Between seventy and ninety feet. Twenty to twenty-seven meters. The megalodon was the largest shark that ever existed. It feared nothing. It had no predators. Its jaws were stronger than any other animal, ever. The meg could bite a whale in half, crushing through the bones.
Zhang: We are in uncharted territory. Until today, megalodons were thought to have been extinct for over two million years.
Jaxx: A living fossil.
The Wall: That living fossil ate my friend.
Jonas Taylor: Hey, look, you want to explore? Go ahead, explore. But if you start sending people back down there, don’t call me to come save your a**es. Because in case what happened down there wasn’t clear to you, man versus meg isn’t a fight, it’s a slaughter.
Meiying: There’s a monster and it’s watching us.
Zhang: We have a shark cage and spearguns on board. If we can shoot the meg in a soft spot like it’s mouth or gills, we can inject it with something lethal.
Mac: Woh! Woh, woh. It’s going to take at least twenty minutes to rig the cage. And that thing will be gone in two.
Morris: Why don’t you just put a tracker on it? Don’t you guys ever watch Shark Week? You have one of those, like, GPS tracker tag thingamajigs. Keep an eye on the shark till the cage is ready.
The Wall: We should be able to put a tracking dart in that dorsal fin.
Morris: You’re welcome.
Jonas Taylor: You sure about this?
Suyin: [nods enthusiastically] Not really.
Jonas Taylor: Remind me again why this is a good idea.
Jaxx: What? It’s a shark cage.
Jonas Taylor: Plastic shark cage.
Jaxx: I’m going to ignore that you just said that. This beautiful thing is polycarbonate, specifically designed not to crack, not to break, but to deform. And in this case, at this thickness, it would take twenty thousand pounds per square inch. And if you’re talking about breaking, that’s eight to nine hundred thousand.
Jonas Taylor: I don’t like it.
The Wall: Doesn’t like it.
DJ: I wouldn’t get in there.
Jaxx: Okay, Suyin, hang in there.
Suyin: I’m trapped! I’m in its mouth!
Jaxx: That cage will not break.
Suyin: That’s the problem. The cage is being swallowed.
Jonas Taylor: Chew on this, you ugly bastard.
Mac:How’re you going to kill it?
Jonas Taylor: Evolution. I’m going to make this thing bleed. Suyin, what you said before, you were right. It’s not about the people you lose. It’s about the people you save. Signing off.