central-intelligence

Starring: Dwayne Johnson, Kevin Hart, Ed Helms, Amy Ryan, Danielle Nicolet, Bobby Brown, Aaron Paul

OUR RATING: ★★★☆☆

Story:

Action comedy directed by Rawson Marshall Thurber which follows Calvin (Kevin Hart) who used to be the popular kid at high school but is now a mild-mannered accountant, at his 20-year high school reunion he is reunited with former classmate Bob (Dwayne Johnson), who was once an overweight nerd and a favorite target of bullies, but is now a deadly CIA agent. Bob then calls on Calvin to help him foil a plot to sell classified military secrets.

 

Best Quotes   (Total Quotes: 23)


 

[spying on teenage Bob as he’s singing in the shower]
High School Student: Look at him, anything about that look normal to you? Let’s wreck him.
[the students throw Bob naked into the middle of their packed high school stadium]
Calvin Joyner: Here, here.
[Calvin gives Bob his jacket to cover himself, and Bob mouths “thank you” to him]
School Principal: Well, there’s no coming back from that.


 

[Bob comes up behind Calvin]
Bob Stone: My, man!
Calvin Joyner: You better back up, man!
[Calvin puts up his fists ready to fight]
Bob Stone: Woh, Calvin, it’s me Bob.
Calvin Joyner: Sorry, do I know you?
Bob Stone: Robbie Weirdick, from high school!
Calvin Joyner: God! Man, look at you! You lost like two hundred pounds!


 

Calvin Joyner: What did you do?
Bob Stone: I just did one thing.
Calvin Joyner: I need to know.
Bob Stone: I worked out six hours a day, every day, for the last twenty years straight.


 

Bob Stone: You should know one thing about me. I’m in the CIA.
Calvin Joyner: Are you joking with me right now?!


 

Bob Stone: Spoiler alert, I’m in the CIA.
Calvin Joyner: Are you joking with me right now?!


 

Bob Stone: I got a plan. Might get us both killed, but if it works it’ll be a totally bust story. Cool?
Calvin Joyner: No! No, it’s not cool!
Bob Stone: Cool.
Calvin Joyner: No, I said it’s not cool!


 

Bob Stone: Bottom line, are you in or are you out?
Calvin Joyner: Well then I’m out!
Bob Stone: Actually you’re already in.
Calvin Joyner: Then why would you ask me?
Bob Stone: Because I thought you would go, “I’m in, Bob!”, and we would have had a really cool moment, but you kind of ruined the whole thing.


 

Bob Stone: Take my gun; we may have to kill some people.
Calvin Joyner: I will do no such thing.
Bob Stone: I think you’ll like it.
Calvin Joyner: I will not!


 

Bob Stone: I need your skillset to save the entire free world. You ready?
Calvin Joyner: No!
Bob Stone: Sweet. Let’s go.
Calvin Joyner: No! I said no!


 

Bob Stone: [to Calvin] Three weeks ago an enemy of the state stole the encryption keys to the entire US spy satellite program. I need your super sweet accounting skills to help me figure out the last piece of this puzzle.


 

Bob Stone: You’re like a chocolate Google.
[Bob starts pressing his finger into Calvin like he’s a computer]
Bob Stone: Boop, boop, boop.
Calvin Joyner: Bob, don’t do that. Stop it. Stop it.


 

Bob Stone: You’re my only friend, Calvin, the only one in this whole world that I trust.


 

Calvin Joyner: I expressly remember saying that I was out.
Bob Stone: I know, but they think you’re in.


 

Bob Stone: Now that you’re in.
Calvin Joyner: I’m not in.
Bob Stone: I know, but they think you’re in.
Calvin Joyner: But I’m not.
Bob Stone: Probably one of those perception versus reality things happening right now.
Calvin Joyner: No, no. I am out!


 

Bob Stone: The smarter play is if we split up.
Calvin Joyner: You know what happens when people split up, Bob? Somebody dies.


 

Bob Stone: You were the coolest kid in high school!
Calvin Joyner: This is like a total transformation. You used to be Fat Robbie!


 

Calvin Joyner: Which car are we taking?
Bob Stone: Not that one.
[Bob throw a grenade under the car and Calvin starts walking quickly away from it]
Calvin Joyner: Oh, my God. Oh, God.
[suddenly the car explodes]


 

Calvin Joyner: You chose to be an international CIA spy.
Bob Stone: Because I don’t like bullies.


 

Calvin Joyner: [to Bob] You were like Jason Bourne in shorts.


 

Bob Stone: You’re like a snack-sized Denzel.


 

Calvin Joyner: Did you see that, Bob! I did the thing! I did the thing, Bob!
Bob Stone: Yeah!
Calvin Joyner: Yeah!


 

Bob Stone: Do you remember those back flips you used to do?
Calvin Joyner: Let’s do the flip.
[Calvin goes to the flip but lands straight onto his face]
Bob Stone: That was so close.


 

Phil: What was that for?
Calvin Joyner: I was doing a backflip.
[flat on his back]
Phil: Your point?
Calvin Joyner: A distraction.
Phil: For what?
[Bob shows up behind Phil and rips open his throat]


Total Quotes: 23

 

Trailers:

 


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