Starring: Dwayne Johnson, Kevin Hart, Ed Helms, Amy Ryan, Danielle Nicolet, Bobby Brown, Aaron Paul
OUR RATING: ★★★☆☆
Story:
Action comedy directed by Rawson Marshall Thurber. Central Intelligence (2016) follows Calvin (Kevin Hart), who used to be the popular kid at high school but is now a mild-mannered accountant. At his 20-year high school reunion he is reunited with former classmate Bob (Dwayne Johnson), who was once an overweight nerd and a favorite target of bullies, but is now a deadly CIA agent. Bob then calls on Calvin to help him foil a plot to sell classified military secrets.
Best Quotes
High School Student: [spying on teenage Bob as he’s singing in the shower] Look at him, anything about that look normal to you? Let’s wreck him.
Calvin Joyner: [givess Bob his jacket after the students throw him naked into the middle of their high school stadium] Here. Here.
School Principal: Well, there’s no coming back from that.
Bob Stone: [comes up behind Calvin] My, man!
Calvin Joyner: [puts up his fists ready to fight] You better back up, man!
Bob Stone: Woh, Calvin. It’s me, Bob.
Calvin Joyner: Sorry, do I know you?
Bob Stone: Robbie Weirdick, from high school!
Calvin Joyner: God! Man, look at you! You lost like two hundred pounds!
Calvin Joyner: What did you do?
Bob Stone: I just did one thing.
Calvin Joyner: I need to know.
Bob Stone: I worked out six hours a day, every day, for the last twenty years straight.
Bob Stone: You should know one thing about me. I’m in the CIA.
Calvin Joyner: Are you joking with me right now?!
Bob Stone: Spoiler alert, I’m in the CIA.
Calvin Joyner: Are you joking with me right now?!
Bob Stone: I got a plan. Might get us both killed, but if it works it’ll be a totally bust story. Cool?
Calvin Joyner: No! No, it’s not cool!
Bob Stone: Cool.
Calvin Joyner: No, I said it’s not cool!
Bob Stone: Bottom line, are you in or are you out?
Calvin Joyner: Well then I’m out!
Bob Stone: Actually you’re already in.
Calvin Joyner: Then why would you ask me?
Bob Stone: Because I thought you would go, “I’m in, Bob!” And we would have had a really cool moment, but you kind of ruined the whole thing.
Bob Stone: Take my gun. We may have to kill some people.
Calvin Joyner: I will do no such thing.
Bob Stone: I think you’ll like it.
Calvin Joyner: I will not!
Bob Stone: I need your skillset to save the entire free world. You ready?
Calvin Joyner: No!
Bob Stone: Sweet. Let’s go.
Calvin Joyner: No! I said no!
Bob Stone: [to Calvin] Three weeks ago an enemy of the state stole the encryption keys to the entire US spy satellite program. I need your super sweet accounting skills to help me figure out the last piece of this puzzle.
Bob Stone: You’re like a chocolate Google.
Bob Stone: [starts pressing his finger into Calvin like he’s a computer] Boop, boop, boop.
Calvin Joyner: Bob, don’t do that. Stop it. Stop it.
Bob Stone: You’re my only friend, Calvin, the only one in this whole world that I trust.
Calvin Joyner: I expressly remember saying that I was out.
Bob Stone: I know, but they think you’re in.
Bob Stone: Now that you’re in.
Calvin Joyner: I’m not in.
Bob Stone: I know, but they think you’re in.
Calvin Joyner: But I’m not.
Bob Stone: Probably one of those perception versus reality things happening right now.
Calvin Joyner: No, no. I am out!
Bob Stone: The smarter play is if we split up.
Calvin Joyner: You know what happens when people split up, Bob? Somebody dies.
Bob Stone: You were the coolest kid in high school!
Calvin Joyner: This is like a total transformation. You used to be Fat Robbie!
Calvin Joyner: Which car are we taking?
Bob Stone: [throws a grenade under the car] Not that one.
Calvin Joyner: Oh, my God. Oh, God.
[suddenly the car explodes]
Calvin Joyner: You chose to be an international CIA spy.
Bob Stone: Because I don’t like bullies.
Calvin Joyner: [to Bob] You were like Jason Bourne in shorts.
Bob Stone: You’re like a snack-sized Denzel.
Calvin Joyner: Did you see that, Bob! I did the thing! I did the thing, Bob!
Bob Stone: Yeah!
Calvin Joyner: Yeah!
Bob Stone: Do you remember those back flips you used to do?
Calvin Joyner: [as he goes to the flip but lands straight onto his face] Let’s do the flip.
Bob Stone: That was so close.
Phil: What was that for?
Calvin Joyner: I was doing a backflip.
Phil: [flat on his back] Your point?
Calvin Joyner: A distraction.
Phil: For what?
[Bob shows up behind Phil and rips open his throat]
Trailer: