Starring: Ryan Reynolds, Hugh Jackman, Morena Baccarin, Emma Corrin, Rob Delaney, Leslie Uggams, Karan Soni, Matthew Macfadyen
OUR RATING: ★★★☆☆
Story: Superhero action comedy sequel directed by Shawn Levy and a writing team that includes Levy and Ryan Reynolds. Deadpool & Wolverine (2024) follows the irresponsible hero Deadpool (Ryan Reynolds), who after crossing paths with Wolverine (Hugh Jackman), changes the history of the MCU.
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Top Raunchy Fun Deadpool & Wolverine Quotes
Wade Wilson: You know, for a long time, I wasn’t sure I’d ever be back. Disney bought Fox. There was a whole boring rights issue, blabbity-blabbity-blah. But then, it turned out, they wanted me. The one guy who shouldn’t even have his own movie, much less a franchise. Marvel’s so stupid.
Wade Wilson: So, I know what you’re wondering. How are we going to do this without dishonoring Logan’s memory? And I’ll tell you how. We’re not.
Wade Wilson: Look, I’m not a man of science. But you seem incredibly passed away.
Wade Wilson: [to Logan’s corpse] I got to be honest, I’ve always wanted to ride with you, Log. You and me getting into it. Deadpool and Wolverine just f***ing s**t up. Can you imagine the fun, the chaos, the residuals?
Wade Wilson: [in Australian accent] “G’day, mate. There’s nothing that’ll bring me back to life faster than a big bag of Marvel cash.” Me too, Hugh.
Wade Wilson: I know I turn everything into a joke, but I care. And I want to use that feeling for something important. I want to matter.
Wade Wilson: [to Hogan] What’s your superpower? Is it parallel parking?
Wade Wilson: If you could hear the look on my face, you’d smell how sad I am.
Wade Wilson: You watched anything good?
Colossus: Great British Bake Off.
Wade Wilson: Oh, goddamn. That show stood between me and suicide for ten years.
Warhead: Nice fake o’clock shadow.
Wade Wilson: It’s a summer balayage. From the French. It’s meant to mimic the natural highlights of the sun.
Warhead: It’s a toupee.
Wade Wilson: It’s a hair system.
Yukio: I love your hair system, Wade.
Wade Wilson: Thank you!
Blind Al: Want to do some c******?
Wade Wilson: Hey! C****** is the one thing that Feige said is off limits.
Blind Al: What about Bolivian marching powder?
Wade Wilson: They know all the slang terms. They have a list.
Blind Al: Even snowboarding?
Wade Wilson: Even disco dust.
Blind Al: White Girl Interrupted?
Wade Wilson: Even Forrest Bump.
Blind Al: Booger sugar?
Wade Wilson: I wouldn’t even try powdered gonuts.
Blind Al: Do you want to build a snowman?
Wade Wilson: Yes! But I can’t!
Wade Wilson: [as the TVA Agents get out their pruning sticks] Is that supposed to be scary? Pegging isn’t new for me, friendo. But it is for Disney.
Mr. Paradox: Mr. Wilson. You appear to have soiled yourself while unconscious.
Wade Wilson: I wasn’t unconscious.
Wade Wilson: Oh, I smell what you’re stepping in. The power in the Marvel Universe is about to change forever. I am the Messiah. I am Marvel Jesus.
Wade Wilson: Suck it, Fox! I’m going to Disneyland. Get f***ed!
Wade Wilson: We should talk vacation days. I’m more of a one-week-on-one-week-off kind of guy. I think it’s what they do in Denmark. You know, you’ll never see a Danish flag on the moon, but goddammit, they’re happy.
Wade Wilson: Come again? This time in my ears.
Wade Wilson: I’m nothing if not morally flexible.
Minuteman Leader: Logan was a hero. And the only thing worth a s**t to ever come out of Canada.
Wade Wilson: Get my country’s name out of your f***ing mouth. And my sword. Give me that.
Wade Wilson: You know, from behind, you look a little bit like Henry… Oh, my f***! The Cavillrine. The legends are true. And may I say, sir, on behalf of all humanity, this just feels right. We will treat you so much better than those s**t f***s down the street.
Wade Wilson: I can tell you have a sort of don’t-get-too-close-I’ll-only-break-your-heart vibe going here, but every other Wolverine would’ve really hurt me by now.
Wade Wilson: Oh. Whiskey d**k of the claws. It’s quite common in Wolverines over forty.
Logan: You don’t want this.
Wade Wilson: [points his gun at Logan] You’re right. I don’t. And you don’t want this. Unless you want to take a deep breath through your f***ing forehead, I suggest you reconsider.
Wade Wilson: This Logan has the same he-can-do-anything-even-musicals look. And bonus, he’s actually wearing a costume like he’s not embarrassed to be in a superhero movie for once.
Wade Wilson: [to Logan] Welcome to the MCU, by the way. You’re joining at a bit of a low point.
Logan: Where the hell are we?
Wade Wilson: I don’t know. Looks kind of Mad Maxy. But that would be IP infringement, right?
Wade Wilson: Rest in pieces, Fox.
Wade Wilson: Oh, my God! He’s going to say it!
Logan: Say what?
Wade Wilson: Avengers, assemble.
Johnny Storm: Flame on!
Wade Wilson: I’m sorry. What now?
Wade Wilson: [as Logan ejects his claws] F***! You nicked it. Just got the tip with your little steak knife.
Wade Wilson: Huh. Paul Rudd finally aged.
Wade Wilson: It’s like you said in the convoy. This finger-licking dead-inside pixie slab of third rate dime-store nut-milk can eat your delicious cinnamon ring and kick rocks all the way to bald hell.
Johnny Storm: Okay. I have never said any of those words in my entire life!
Logan: [referring to Johnny] You just got him f***ing killed!
Wade Wilson: Hey! We’re all grieving! PS. Do you know what he was doing to the budget?
Wade Wilson: I didn’t want it to come to this. Either you help us, or my friend here is going to sing the entire second act of Music Man with zero warm-up.
Wade Wilson: Gen Z and their trauma-bragging! Can’t you just stuff it down, turn it into accomplishment or cancer like the rest of us?
Wade Wilson: [to Cassandra] Your fingers are inside me, but not in a good way.
Wade Wilson: My brain could taste your fingers, and they tasted like hate! And where in God’s name is the intimacy coordinator?
Logan: Then we find the others that poor kid, Johnny, was talking about before you got him killed!
Wade Wilson: “Poor kid.” He’s like fifty!
Logan: Have you been checked for ADHD?
Wade Wilson: Mm-mm. But I’ve had several STDs, which were probably caused by ADHD.
Wade Wilson: Back in civilian life, I wear a toupee, but nobody knows.
Logan: Everybody knows.
Wade Wilson: Want to talk about what’s haunting you, or should we wait for a third act flashback?
Logan: Ah, go f*** yourself.
Wade Wilson: You were an X-Man. F*** that. You were the X-Man. The Wolverine.
Wade Wilson: They call me “The Merc with the Mouth”. They don’t call me “Truthful Timmy, the Blo***b Queen of Saskatoon”. Wade Wilson: I want this to be gentle. Who is your dialect coach? The Minions? I feel like we are missing critical exposition here. Kevin Chipman: That’s Wolverine. Logan: Whoever you think I am, you got the wrong guy. Wade Wilson: Sometimes the people we save, they save us right back.
Wade Wilson: Blind Al, always says that pain teaches us who we are. Sometimes we need to listen to that pain instead of running from it.
Nicepool: Oh, it costs nothing to be kind.
Logan: Shutting the f*** up is also free.
Wade Wilson: This is Logan. He’s usually shirtless, but he’s let himself go since the divorce.
Wade Wilson: Friends don’t let friends leave the house looking like they fight crime for the Los Angeles Rams.
Wade Wilson: [to Logan] My entire world is right here in this picture. It’s only nine people, and I have no idea how to save it alone. I know how to f*** people up for money. But you, you know how to save them!
Logan: [to Wade] No wonder the Avengers didn’t take you. Or the X-Men. And they’ll take f***ing anyone.
Blade: I don’t like you.
Wade Wilson: You never did.
Wade Wilson: [after hearing Magneto is dead] F***! Now Disney gets cheap? It’s like Pinocchio jammed his face in my a** and started lying like crazy.
Wade Wilson: This is what I’m talking about. Big slow-motion fights, sad music. Everybody working together. Who knows if you live or die? That sort of thing.
Gambit: I ain’t know my daddy, but I’m sure I shot out of his d**k ready.
Logan: Whoever you think I am, you got the wrong guy.
Laura: You were always the wrong guy.
Blade: There’s only been one Blade. And there’s only ever going to be one Blade.
Blade: Some m*****f***ers still trying to ice skate uphill.
Wade Wilson: You’re damn straight it is. Fox killed him. Disney brought him back. They’re going to make him do this till he’s ninety.
Nicepool: I can gently tap the fourth wall too. The Proposal.
Kidpool: When I want your opinion, I’ll take Wolverine’s d**k out of your mouth.
Wade Wilson: Look, The Wizard of Oz did the multiverse first, and they did it best. The gays knew it. But we didn’t listen. Let’s just take the L and move on.
Nicepool: I think it’s been steadily great since Endgame.
Wade Wilson: What, are your legs on vacation? You’re dead weight!
Nicepool: That’s because I’m paralyzed.
Wade Wilson: We all have problems.
Wade Wilson: The mask is really intimidating, huh? It’s like Batman, except he can move his neck.
Laura: You were always the wrong guy, till you weren’t.
Wade Wilson: You were right. One of us would have been killed. But you put a Deadpool and a Wolverine together, make them hold hands while listening to Madonna, indestructible, m*****f***er.
B-15: I want to show you something. Something huge.
Wade Wilson: That’s what Scoutmaster Kevin used to say.
B-15: I’d rest up. I have a feeling your work is only just getting started.
Wade Wilson: [to Logan] Till you’re ninety.
Wade Wilson: Al. I’m back.
Blind Al: About damn time. You holding? I’m all out of devil’s dandruff, and I’m shaking like an angry vibrator.
Wade Wilson: [referring to Dogpool] It’s like an armadillo f***ed a gremlin, angrily, in a bed of gonorrhea, and didn’t stop till the sun came up.
Wade Wilson: Everyone wants to matter. Turns out that you don’t need to be Marvel Jesus to do it. You just need to open your eyes and look around. And if you’re lucky, you’ll find a few friends. Old friends, and some new ones too.
Johnny Storm: [post-credits lines] I won’t be happy until I’ve urinated on her freshly barbecued corpse and husk-f***ed the charred remains while gargling Juggernaut’s juggernuts. And you can quote me.