Loki Quotes from Disney+ Series (Season 1 – 2)

Loki: What if I was a robot, and I didn’t know it?
Scanner Clerk: The machine would melt you from the inside out. Please move along, sir.
Loki: Okay. I’m not a robot, so I’ll be fine.

Loki: This is a mistake! I shouldn’t be here!
Miss Minute: [over PA] Hey there! You’re probably saying, “This is a mistake. I shouldn’t even be here.”

Miss Minute: Welcome to the Time Variance Authority. I’m Miss Minutes, and it’s my job to catch you up before you stand trial for your crimes. So let’s not waste another minute. Settle in, sharpen your pencils, and check this out.

Miss Minute: Long ago, there was a vast multiversal war. Countless unique timelines battled each other for supremacy, nearly resulting in the total destruction of, well, everything. But then, the all-knowing Time Keepers emerged, bringing peace by reorganizing the multiverse into a single timeline, the Sacred Timeline. Now the Time Keepers protect and preserve the proper flow of time for everyone and everything.

Miss Minute: But sometimes, people like you veer off the path the Time Keepers created. We call those Variants. Maybe you started an uprising, or were just late for work. Whatever it was, stepping off your path created a nexus event, which, left unchecked, could branch off into madness, leading to another multiversal war. But, don’t worry, to make sure that doesn’t happen, the Time Keepers created the TVA, and all its incredible workers. The TVA has stepped in to fix your mistake and set time back on its predetermined path.

Loki: Time Keepers? The Sacred Timeline? Who actually believes this bunkum?

Mobius: [in French] I’m sorry. My friend is an imbecile.
Hunter U-92: [in French] Hey, yoh! I speak every language in the Timeline too. Jacka**.

Ravonna Renslayer: How do you plead?
Loki: Madam, a god doesn’t plead.

Loki: Look, this has been a very enjoyable pantomime, but I’d like to go home now.
Ravonna Renslayer: Are you guilty or not guilty, sir?
Loki: Guilty of being the God of Mischief? Yes. Guilty of finding all this incredibly tedious? Yes. Guilty of a crime against the Sacred Timeline? Absolutely not, you have the wrong person.

Loki: I suspect, the Avengers. You see, I only came into possession of the Tesseract because they traveled through time, no doubt in a last-ditch effort to stave off my ascent to God King.
Ravonna Renslayer: That’s quite an accusation.
Loki: Oh, believe me, you can smell the cologne of two Tony Starks.

Ravonna Renslayer: [referring to The Avengers] What they did was supposed to happen. You escaping was not.
Loki: Right. Not supposed to happen? According to whom?
Ravonna Renslayer: The Time Keepers?

Loki: Well, perhaps I should speak to these Time Keepers, gods to gods.
Ravonna Renslayer: I’m sorry, but they’re quite busy.
Loki: Oh, they are? What are they doing?
Ravonna Renslayer: Dictating the proper flow of time.

Ravonna Renslayer: How do you plead?
Loki: Guilty, of this.
[tries to use his magic to escape]

Loki: Don’t rush me. Damn it! Why won’t it work?
Ravonna Renslayer: Magic powers? They’re no good in the TVA, Mr. Laufeyson. The court finds you guilty, and I sentence you to be reset. Next case, please!

Loki: Reset? What does that mean? What, is it bad? What does it mean? Hey! You ridiculous bureaucrats will not dictate how my story ends!
Ravonna Renslayer: It’s not your story, Mr. Laufeyson. It never was.
Loki: You have no idea what I’m capable of!
Mobius: I think I might.

Ravonna Renslayer: If you’re thinking what I think you are, it’s a bad idea.
Mobius: Okay, I’m just chasing a hunch.
Ravonna Renslayer: Anything goes sideways, it’s on you.
Mobius: Okay. I feel like I’m always looking up to you. I like it. It’s appropriate.

Loki: I’m going to burn this place to the ground.
Mobius: I’ll show you where my desk is, you can start there.

Loki: This place is a nightmare.
Mobius: That’s another department. Now that department I’ll help you burn down.

Loki: Are you taking me somewhere to kill me?
Mobius: No. That’s where you just were. I’m taking you some place to talk.
Loki: Well, I don’t like to talk.
Mobius: But you do like to lie, which you just did. Because we both know you love to talk. Talky-talky.

Loki: How long have you been here?
Mobius: I don’t know, it’s hard to say. You know, time passes differently here in the TVA.
Loki: What does that mean?
Mobius: You’ll catch up.

Loki: The idea that your little club decides the fate of trillions of people across all of existence at the behest of three space lizards, yes, it’s funny. It’s absurd.
Mobius: I thought you didn’t like to talk.

Loki: For the record, this really does feel like a killing-me kind of a room.
Mobius: Not big on trust, are you?
Loki: Trust is for children and dogs. There’s only one person you can trust.
Mobius: Yourself? I like it. Slap it on a T-shirt.

Loki: If the TVA truly oversees all of time, how have I never heard of you until now?
Mobius: Because you’ve never needed to. You’ve always lived within your set path.
Loki: I live within whatever path I choose.
Mobius: Sure you do.

Loki: What do you want from me?
Mobius: Well, let’s start with a little cooperation.
Loki: Not my forte.
Mobius: Really? Even when you’re wooing someone powerful you intend to betray? Come on.

Mobius: I specialize in the pursuit of dangerous Variants.
Loki: Like myself?
Mobius: No, particularly dangerous Variants. You’re just a little pussycat.

Mobius: You want to be king?
Loki: I don’t want to be, I was born to be.

Mobius: Space is big. That’d be a nice feather in your cap. “Loki, the King of Space.”
Loki: Mock me if you dare.
Mobius: No, I’m not. Honestly, I’m actually a fan. Yeah.

Mobius: And I guess I’m wondering why does someone with so much range just want to rule?
Loki: I would’ve made it easy for them.
Mobius: People like easy.

Loki: The first and most oppressive lie ever uttered was the song of freedom.
Mobius: How does that one go?
Loki: For nearly every living thing, choice breeds shame, and uncertainty, and regret. There’s a fork in every road, yet the wrong path always taken.
Mobius: You said, “Nearly every living thing,” so I’m guessing you don’t fall into that category?

Loki: The timekeepers have built quite the circus. And I see the clowns are playing their parts to perfection.
Mobius: Big metaphor guy. I love it. Makes you sound super smart.
Loki: I am smart.
Mobius: I know.
Loki: Okay.
Mobius: Okay.

Mobius: [to Loki] It’s funny, for someone born to rule, you sure do lose a lot. You might even say it’s in your nature.

Mobius: Do you enjoy hurting people? Making them feel small? Making them feel afraid?
Loki: Your games don’t frighten me.
Mobius: Making them feel little?

Loki: I know what I am.
Mobius: A murderer?
Loki: A liberator.
Mobius: Of eyeballs maybe.

Loki: I don’t have to play this game. I’m a god.
Mobius: Of what, again? Mischief, right? Yeah. I don’t see anything very mischievous about this.
Loki: No, I don’t suppose you do.

Mobius: You’re really good at doing awful things, and then just getting away.
Loki: What can I say? I’m a mischievous scamp.

Flight Attendant: Is there anything else I can do for you, sir?
Loki: I suppose we’ll find out, won’t we?

Loki: Where was the TVA when I was meddling with these affairs of men?
Mobius: We were right there with you, just surfing that Sacred Timeline.
Loki: Oh, so that had the Time Keepers seal of approval, did it?
Mobius: Well, I wouldn’t think of it in terms of approval and disapproval.

Loki: I was just standing up to make a point.
Mobius: I’m sorry, go ahead.
Loki: It won’t be as meaningful now.
Mobius: Okay, well, stay seated.
Loki: I’ll do what I want to do!
Mobius: Sure.

Loki: What exactly is it that you want?
Mobius: I want you to be honest about why you do what you do.
Loki: Liar.
Mobius: I’m serious. All I seek is a deeper understanding of the fearsome God of Mischief. What makes Loki tick?

Loki: I know what this place is.
Mobius: What is it?
Loki: It’s an illusion. It’s a cruel, elaborate trick conjured by the weak to inspire fear. A desperate attempt at control. Now, you all parade about as if you’re the divine arbiters of power in the universe.
Mobius: We are.
Loki: You’re not. My choices are my own.

Loki: I was, I am on the verge of acquiring everything I am owed, and when I do, it’ll be because I did it. Not because it was supposed to happen. Or because you, or the Time Variance Authority, or whatever it is you call yourselves, allowed me to. Honestly, you’re pathetic. You’re an irrelevance. A detour. A footnote to my ascent.
Mobius: You finished? You’re going to start taking things seriously.

Mobius: Look, the TVA doesn’t just know your whole past, we know your whole life, how it’s all meant to be. Think of it as comforting.
Loki: This is absurd.

Mobius: [as Loki sees how his mother dies] That’s the proper flow of time, and it happens again, and again, and again. Because it’s supposed to. Because it has to. The TVA makes sure of it.

Mobius: Now why don’t you tell me, do you enjoy hurting people?
Loki: I don’t believe you.
Mobius: Do you enjoy killing?
Loki: I’ll kill you.
Mobius: What, like you did your mother?

Mobius: You weren’t born to be king, Loki. You were born to cause pain, and suffering, and death. That’s how it is, that’s how it was, that’s how it will be. All so that others can achieve their best versions of themselves.

Loki: Give me the Tesseract, or I’ll gut you like a fish, Casey.
Casey: What’s a fish? What’s a fish?
Loki: How do you not know what a fish is?
Casey: Well, I’ve lived my entire life behind a desk.
Loki: Well, what difference does it make?
Casey: I want to know exactly what I’m being threatened with before I comply.
Loki: Death, Casey. Violent, painful death.
Casey: Okay. Okay. I comply.

Loki: [referring to the Infinity Stones] How do you have these?
Casey: Oh. We actually get a lot of those. Yeah. Some of the guys use them as paperweights. Some of them.

Loki: [referring to the TVA] Is this the greatest power in the universe?

Hunter B-15: What’s so funny?
Loki: Glorious purpose.

Loki: I can’t go back, can I? Back to my timeline.

Loki: I don’t enjoy hurting people. I don’t enjoy it. I do it because I have to. Because I’ve had to.
Mobius: Okay. Explain that to me.
Loki: Because it’s part of the illusion. It’s the cruel, elaborate trick conjured by the weak to inspire fear.
Mobius: A desperate play for control. You do know yourself.
Loki: A villain.
Mobius: That’s not how I see it.

Loki: Even an Infinity Stone is useless here. The TVA is formidable.
Mobius: That’s been my experience.

Mobius: Listen, I can’t offer you salvation. But maybe I can offer you something better. A fugitive Variant’s been killing our Minutemen.
Loki: And you need the God of Mischief to help you stop him?
Mobius: That’s right.

Loki: Why me?
Mobius: The Variant we’re hunting is you.
Loki: I beg your pardon?

Miss Minute: Thanks for visiting the TVA. Don’t hesitate to let us know how we’re doing.

Loki: They’re two completely different powers.
Mobius: How?
Loki: Illusion-projection involves depicting a detailed image from outside oneself, which is perceptible in the external world, whereas duplication-casting entails recreating an exact facsimile of one’s own body in its present circumstance, which acts as a true holographic mirror of its molecular structure. But you already knew that.
Mobius: Okay, take a breath. Noted.

Mobius: Whoever this Variant is, we haven’t been able to find him. So let’s bring in an expert.
Loki: That’s me.

Loki: Do I get a weapon?
Mobius: No.

Mobius: Nexus events destabilize the time flow. This branch is still changing and growing, so you got to show up in real time. Did you watch any of the training videos you were supposed to?
Loki: Well, as many as I could stand. Your TVA propaganda is exhausting.

Mobius: What do you see?
Loki: I see a scheme. And in that scheme, I see myself.

Loki: We have a saying in Asgard, “Where there are wolf’s ears, wolf’s teeth are near.” It means to be aware of your surroundings. Which is absurd, because my people are, by nature, gullible fools. A trait that I, the God of Mischief, exploited time, and time again, simply by listening. My teeth were sharp, but my ears even sharper.

Loki: The Time Variance Authority and the gods of Asgard, one and the same. Drunk with power, blinded to the truth. Those you underestimate will devour you. You underestimate me, just as you underestimate this lesser Loki. Which is why, you walk into one wolf’s mouth after another.

Loki: He wants me. I’m the key to his plan. He knows that I’m stronger than him. And he rightly believes that together we can overthrow and rule the TVA. But that’s not what I want. I have a new purpose. I’m a servant of the Sacred Timeline. And knowing what I now know about his tactics, I can deliver you the Variant. But I need assurances.
Mobius: Yeah?
Loki: Assurances that I won’t be completely disintegrated the moment the job has been done.

Ravonna Renslayer: You’re not the only analyst working for me.
Mobius: But would you say, maybe, I’m your favorite one?

Ravonna Renslayer: This Variant is insubordinate, stubborn, unpredictable. Sounds like someone else I know.
Mobius: I was just thinking it sounds like someone I know.

Mobius: It didn’t go exactly the way I wanted it to today, but here’s what we did find out. The Variant likes to stall for time, and eventually, we’ll catch the other one doing the same thing. Because understanding this Loki helps me get closer to the one we’re chasing. Right?

Ravonna Renslayer: Look, I know you have a soft spot for broken things.
Mobius: I don’t think so.
Ravonna Renslayer: Yes, you do. But Loki is an evil, lying scourge. That is the part he plays on the Sacred Timeline.
Mobius: Maybe he wants to mix it up. Sometimes you get tired of playing the same part. Is that possible? He can change?
Ravonna Renslayer: Not unless the Time Keepers decree it. And then, it shall be so.

Mobius: And how are the old Time Keepers?
Ravonna Renslayer: How do you think?
Mobius: I don’t know. Because I’ve never met them. Thankfully. Although, I shouldn’t say that.

Ravonna Renslayer: [referring to the Time Keepers] They want that Variant caught.
Mobius: So do I.
Ravonna Renslayer: And this is the last chance you’re going to get with this Loki.
Mobius: Great. That’s all I’m going to need.

Ravonna Renslayer: You really believe in this Variant?
Mobius: Luckily, he believes in himself enough for the both of us. And, hey, if it doesn’t work, I’ll delete him myself. He’s really arrogant.

Loki: That was your first lesson in catching a Loki. Expect the expected. You see, half the fun of being a trickster is knowing everyone knows you’re a trickster, and then, many of your tricks can come from exploiting the fact that you know that they know…
Mobius: Okay. Just shut up!

Mobius: I mean, what happened to the guy I met on the elevator? Who didn’t like to talk. Remember him? Now I’m stuck with this guy who won’t stop yacking away about what makes a Loki tick.
Loki: What? Isn’t that precisely why I’m here?
Mobius: No. I don’t care what makes you tick. You’re here to help me catch the superior version of yourself.

Loki: I’m not sure “superior” is actually quite the right word.
Mobius: See? There it is. Right there. I believed, stupidly, that insecure need for validation would motivate you to find the killer. Not because you care about the TVA mission, or being a hero, but because you know this Variant is better than you, and you can’t take it.
Loki: Very nice.

Loki: I mean, it is adorable that you think you could possibly manipulate me. I’m ten steps ahead of you. I’ve been playing a game of my own all along.
Mobius: What, charm your way in front of the Time Keepers, hustle them, and seize control of the TVA? Am I getting warm? A double cross by history’s most reliable liar.

Mobius: I’ll give you two options, and you can believe whichever one you want. A, because I see a scared little boy, shivering in the cold. And you kind of feel bad for that ice runt. Or B, I just want to catch this guy, and I’ll tell you whatever I need to tell you.
Loki: I don’t need your sympathy.
Mobius: Good. Because I’m running out of it.

Mobius: This is the final step. Your last chance.
Loki: Oh, and what does my desperate last chance require?
Mobius: Work.
Loki: Work?

Mobius: I need you to go over each and every one of the Variant’s case files, and then, give me your, how do I put it? Your unique Loki perspective. And who knows? Maybe there’s something that we missed.
Loki: Well, you’re idiots. I suspect you probably missed a lot.

Loki: He’s hiding in apocalypses.
Mobius: Which apocalypse? Any time in history? There’s like a million of them.
Loki: Ragnarok. Are you familiar?
Mobius: Yes. The destruction of Asgard and most of its people. I’m sorry.
Loki: Yes, very sad.

Loki: Nexus events happen when someone does something they’re not supposed to do, right?
Mobius: Well, it’s a little more complicated. But, yeah.
Loki: Great. And then that thing they’re not supposed to do, cascades into a whole range of other things that aren’t supposed to happen. And so on and so forth, until eventually, a new timeline branches. Yes?
Mobius: Chaotic alterations of a predetermined outcome.

Loki: So, let’s just say…
Mobius: What are you doing?
Loki: Your salad is Asgard in this scenario.
Mobius: No. It’s not Asgard, that’s my lunch.
Loki: It’s a metaphor. Just hang in there.
Mobius: I want that salad.

Loki: It could be any apocalypse. It could be a tidal wave. It could be a meteor. It could be a volcano, a supernova. If everything and everyone around you is destined for imminent destruction, then nothing that I say, or do will matter, because the timeline’s not going to branch. Because it gets destroyed. Hence, the Variant could be hiding in the apocalypse and do whatever he wants, and we wouldn’t know!
Mobius: Not bad.

Mobius: I’m not taking you for a stroll along the promenade, much less an apocalypse.
Loki: Oh, Mobius, come on! What could possibly go wrong?

Mobius: Well, here’s a fun theory. You lure me out into the field, and then you stab me in the back. And that’s a theory I don’t want to test.
Loki: I’d never stab anyone in the back. That’s such a boring form of betrayal.
Mobius: Loki, I’ve studied almost every moment of your entire life. You’ve literally stabbed people in the back like fifty times.
Loki: Well, I’d never do it again! Because it got old.

Loki: [to Mobius] Okay, look, you don’t trust me, you can trust one thing. I love to be right.

Mobius: If you’re wrong, and there’s a good chance you are, anything we do can create a huge branch.
Loki: Oh, Mobius. You make even the end of the world sound boring!

Loki: [in Latin] You’re all about to die. That volcano is about to erupt! I would know, because I’m from the future.
Loki: [to Mobius] We are from the future, right? What is the TVA? I mean, it’s from the future. It sounds from the future. It’s pretty futurey.

Loki: By the way, at your desk, that magazine?
Mobius: Yeah. The one on jet skis?
Loki: Yes. Why do you have that?
Mobius: Because they’re awesome.
Loki: I suppose they are.

Mobius: You know, some things, actually, most things in history are kind of dumb, and everything gets ruined eventually. But in the early 1990s, for a brief, shining moment, there was a beautiful union of form and function, which we call the jet ski, and a reasonable man cannot differ.
Loki: You ever been on one?
Mobius: No. No.

Mobius: I think a TVA agent showing up on a jet ski on the Sacred Timeline, that would create a branch for sure.
Loki: It’d be fun, though.
Mobius: Yeah. It’d be really fun.

Loki: I mean, you really believe in all this stuff, don’t you?
Mobius: I don’t get hung up on, “Believe, not believe.” I just accept what is.

Loki: [to Mobius] You see, every time I start to admire your intelligence, you say something like that.

Mobius: Because if you think too hard about where any of us came from, who we truly are, it sounds kind of ridiculous. Existence is chaos. Nothing makes any sense, so we try to make some sense of it. And I’m just lucky that the chaos I emerged into gave me all this. My own glorious purpose. Because the TVA is my life. And it’s real because I believe it’s real.

Loki: So everything is written. Past, present, future. There’s no such thing as free will.
Mobius: Well, I mean, you know, it’s an oversimplification.
Loki: So in fact, in a way, you and I, here at the TVA, we’re the only ones who are actually free.
Mobius: Where are you going with this, Loki?
Loki: How does it all end?
Mobius: That’s a work in progress.

Loki: [referring to the Time Keepers] So when they’re finished, what happens then?
Mobius: So are we. No more nexus events. Just order. And we meet in peace at the end of time. Nice, right?
Loki: Only order? No chaos? It sounds boring.
Mobius: I’m sure it does to you.

Loki: You know, you called me a scared little boy.
Mobius: I called you a lot of things.
Loki: You did. You’re wrong though. You see, I know something children don’t.
Mobius: What’s that?
Loki: That no one bad is ever truly bad. And no one good is ever truly good.

Mobius: You’re very clever.
Loki: I know.

Mobius: Now we have two variables. Apocalyptic natural disasters, and Kablooie.
Loki: What’s that?
Mobius: Candy. Do you have candy on Asgard?
Loki: Yeah. Grapes, nuts.
Mobius: No wonder you’re so bitter.

Ravonna Renslayer: Mobius, as your friend, I have to tell you that trusting this man is not a good idea.
Mobius: No. No. I know. But maybe he’s worth the trouble. I mean, he just uncovered a massive hole in our security. Right?
Ravonna Renslayer: That’s what concerns me!
Mobius: I can handle him. Trust me. This is where we get our guy.
Ravonna Renslayer: You, I trust. But him?

Mobius: Listen, Ravonna, every instinct is telling me this is where we nail the Variant. Come on. You don’t see me usually this worked up, right? I’m excited. I’m chomping at the bit.

Ravonna Renslayer: There’s not much I can do if it doesn’t work out.
Mobius: For all time.
Ravonna Renslayer: Always.

Mobius: [gives Loki a set of knives] Just in case. Yeah, don’t those feel…
Hunter B-15: Absolutely not!

Hunter B-15: He’s planning something. We just don’t know what. So keep an eye out for the missing charges. And if you see a Loki, prune it.
Loki: The bad Loki, preferably.

Hunter B-15: What the hell was that?
Loki: That was me, using magic to dry my clothes. So I don’t announce myself with every squeaky footstep like the rest of you.

Loki: You can trust me. I understand I have to earn that. So, I will.
Mobius: Why is it the people you can’t trust are always saying, “Trust me?”

Hunter B-15: What are you doing?
Male Shopper: Shopping for plants.
Loki: In this storm?
Male Shopper: It’s a hurricane sale. Azaleas are half off.

Hunter B-15 (Sylvie): So you’re the fool the TVA brought in to hunt me down.
Loki: Me, I presume.
Hunter B-15 (Sylvie): Please. If anyone’s anyone, you’re me.
Loki: How nice to meet you.

Mobius: Hey! These people are scared.
Hunter D-90: They’re about to die. They should be scared.
Mobius: Okay. Not of us.

Loki: Enchantment is a clever trick. Cowardly, a bit amateur-ish, but clever.
Hunter B-15 (Sylvie): Almost as cowardly as working for the TVA.
Loki: I’m working for me.
Hunter B-15 (Sylvie): You really believe that, don’t you?
Loki: Yeah.
Hunter B-15 (Sylvie): And here I was worried that they’d found a better version of me.

Loki: What say you, Loki?
Randy (Sylvie): Ugh. Don’t call me that. You can call me Randy.
Loki: God. Now I understand why Thor found this so annoying.

Loki: If you don’t want to rule the TVA, then what do you want?
Randy (Sylvie): It doesn’t matter. You’re too late.
Loki: Oh, I think you’ll find I’m well ahead of schedule. I found your hiding place like that. I’d say that makes me the superior Loki, wouldn’t you?

Loki: [as he gets knocked down by the Variant] I miss Randy.

Country Hoss (Sylvie): You really do love to hear yourself talk.
Loki: You’re the first person to tell me that.

Loki: [as he’s getting knocked around] I would never treat me like this.

Loki: If you had any honor you’d fight me as yourself.
Country Hoss (Sylvie): I have s**t to do!

Hunter D-90: [to Mobius] Looks like your favorite Loki betrayed you.

Sylvie: [to Loki] This isn’t about you.

Analyst: Somebody just bombed the Sacred Timeline.

Sylvie: You idiot! This is Lamentis-1.
Loki: I don’t know what that means!
Sylvie: The moon that planet is about to crash into and destroy. Of all of the apocalypses saved on that TemPad, this is the worst! No one makes it off here! Watch out!
Loki: I’m sorry, madam. Didn’t exactly have time to scan the brochure.

Loki: By the way, I thought you wanted me dead.
Sylvie: I don’t know where you hid that TemPad, but if you blow up, it blows up, and then I end up blown up. There!
Loki: So we’re a team now?
Sylvie: Oh, God, no!

Loki: [to Sylvie] You’re so weird!

Loki: What are you doing?
Sylvie: What are you doing?
Loki: You trying to enchant me? It won’t work.
Sylvie: Why? Because you’re a magician?
Loki: No, because my mind is too strong.

Loki: Okay, yes. I do have the TemPad. But I’m not going to get very far if you keep trying to kill me every thirty seconds!
Sylvie: Well, you’re full of it, because you need me to get that thing recharged! That’s the only reason you saved me out there.
Loki: Maybe. Yeah. I mean, sure. That too. Or we could just slaughter each other here in this abandoned mining shack. What do you say?
Sylvie: Good for me.

Sylvie: And as soon as I turn that TemPad back on, I’m going straight back to the TVA to finish what I started.
Loki: Good.
Sylvie: I’ll kill you then.
Loki: Or I’ll kill you.

Loki: So, what’s the plan?
Sylvie: There’s a town near here. And can you shut up? Just because I have to work with you doesn’t mean I want to hear your voice.

Loki: Slow down, Variant.
Sylvie: What part of imminent death confuses you? And don’t call me Variant.
Loki: I’m sorry, but I’m not calling some faded photocopy of me Loki.
Sylvie: Good. Because that’s not who I am anymore. I’m Sylvie now.
Loki: Oh, you changed your name. Brilliant.
Sylvie: It’s called an alias.

Loki: [referring to her name] Well, it’s not very Loki-like.
Sylvie: Yeah? What exactly makes a Loki a Loki?
Loki: Independence, authority, style.
Sylvie: So naturally you went to work for the boring, oppressive time police.
Loki: I don’t work for them. I’m a consultant.

Sylvie: You don’t know what you want.
Loki: Oh, yeah? What about you? Your years in the making plan was to tear the place down, create the ultimate power vacuum, and then just walk away. I’d never have done that.
Sylvie: Yeah? Well, I’m not you.

Sylvie: Okay. Hand it over.
Loki: Pitiful. I’m not giving it to you. You’re going to have to try harder than that.
Sylvie: Then don’t give me your “tech savvy” ideas either. The TemPad requires a massive power source, not a night light.

Loki: Brute force is no substitute for diplomacy and guile.
Sylvie: Noted.

Loki: [to Sylvie] It’s remarkable that you ever made it as far as you did.

Sylvie: Which one was that? Diplomacy? Or…
Loki: Don’t. Just don’t.

Loki: We can’t fight our way onto that train.
Sylvie: Who said anything about fighting?
Loki: All your plans involve fighting.
Sylvie: Not this one. I’m going to enchant a guard, have him lead us through the crowd, and if anyone gives us any trouble…
Loki: Make him start shooting? And then what, kill every guard and hijack the train?
Sylvie: Whether or not there’s a fight is entirely up to them.
Loki: We’re doing this one my way.

Loki: [changes into a guard’s uniform] How do I look?
Sylvie: Like someone with a s**t plan.
Loki: It’s a great plan.

Loki: Look, I can’t go backwards on a train.
Sylvie: Well, I never sit with my back to a door.
Loki: What? There are doors on both sides.
Sylvie: Oh, just sit down.

Sylvie: FYI, that wasn’t even a plan.
Loki: Oh, really?
Sylvie: Plans have multiple steps. Dressing as a guard, and getting on a train, is just doing a thing.

Sylvie: I can’t sleep in a place like this.
Loki: You can’t sleep on a train?
Sylvie: No. I can’t sleep around untrustworthy people.
Loki: Oh, right. Is that me?

Sylvie: What was she like?
Loki: She was a Queen of Asgard. She was good. Purely decent.
Sylvie: Are you sure she was your mother?
Loki: Oh, no. She’s not actually.

Loki: I was adopted. Is that a bit of a spoiler for you? Sorry about that.
Sylvie: No, I knew I was adopted.
Loki: What? They told you?
Sylvie: Yeah. Did they not tell you?
Loki: No. I mean, they did, eventually.

Loki: [referring to Frigga and using magic] It all seemed impossible. But she told me that one day I’d be able to do it too, because I could do anything.

Loki: [referring to Frigga] She was the kind of person you’d want to believe in you.
Sylvie: Sounds like she does.
Loki: Well, she did.

Loki: You taught yourself that magic?
Sylvie: Yeah, I did.
Loki: What, do you just go into their minds and project some sort of illusion?
Sylvie: Really, it’d be easier if I just…
Loki: Enchanted me, and make me give you the TemPad, so you could leap out a moving train? No, thank you.
Sylvie: Well then, don’t ask.

Loki: A pity the old woman chose to die, don’t you think?
Sylvie: She was in love.
Loki: She hated him.
Sylvie: Maybe love is hate.
Loki: Should probably remember that. What was that? “Love is hate.”
Sylvie: Oh, pi** off!

Loki: So, on the subject of love, is there a lucky beau waiting for you at the end of this crusade?
Sylvie: Yeah, there is, actually. Managed to maintain quite a serious long-distance relationship with a postman whilst running across time from one apocalypse to another.
Loki: And with charm like that, who could resist you?
Sylvie: Well, people are quite willing in the face of certain doom.
Loki: I’m sure they are.

Sylvie: How about you? You’re a prince. Must’ve been would-be-princesses, or perhaps another prince.
Loki: A bit of both. I suspect the same as you. But, nothing ever…
Sylvie: Real.

Sylvie: Love is mischief then.
Loki: No. Love is something I might have to have another drink to think about.

Sylvie: You do realize we’re about to try and hijack the power source to a civilization’s only hope?
Loki: I do.
Sylvie: It’s not going to be easy. We should rest.
Loki: Alright. You relax your way, and I’ll relax mine.

Sylvie: You’re drunk.
Loki: No, I’m just full. But bear in mind, I’m very full.

Sylvie: I think something’s happening.
Loki: Yes. That planet is about to crash into us.
Sylvie: Don’t be an a**. I saw some people looking at you weirdly.
Loki: What?

Loki: When did you get so paranoid?
Sylvie: Oh, I guess it must have started when I spent my entire life running from the omniscient fascists you work for.

Loki: Love is a dagger. It’s a weapon to be wielded far away, or up close. You can see yourself in it. It’s beautiful. Until it makes you bleed. But ultimately, when you reach for it…
Sylvie: It isn’t real.

Sylvie: Love is an imaginary dagger.
Loki: Doesn’t make sense, does it?
Sylvie: No. Terrible metaphor.
Loki: Damn. I thought I had something there.

Sylvie: [to Loki] You a**hole. You killed us!

Sylvie: You’re not a serious man.
Loki: You’re right. I’m a god.
Sylvie: You’re a clown. You got drunk on the train!
Loki: I’m hedonistic. That’s what I do.
Sylvie: I’m hedonistic. A lot more than you, I assure you. But never at the expense of the mission.
Loki: Oh, the mission? The mission? What, your glorious purpose? Give me a break. You can’t beat them.

Loki: Did the scream make you feel better?
Sylvie: Yes, it did. You should try it sometime.

Loki: You know, I don’t think I’ve ever walked this much in my life.
Sylvie: That’s a pretty good life.
Loki: Well, you’re lucky you missed it.

Loki: Here’s an idea. What if you enchanted me, and you could walk for both of us? Or I take a nap in my subconscious, and then you could just wake me when we arrive. Yeah?
Sylvie: Yeah, that’s not how enchantment works.
Loki: Alright. How does it work?
Sylvie: Doesn’t matter.

Loki: You know, I feel like I’ve told you so much about me. I really don’t know the first thing about you.
Sylvie: Thanks for the tactical advantage.
Loki: Ah, so, you want to use that tactical advantage to kill me when the TVA shows up.
Sylvie: Worried, are you?
Loki: I just need to know if I can trust you.

Sylvie: You want to know how enchantment works. I have to make physical contact, and then grab hold of their mind.
Loki: How?
Sylvie: It depends on the mind. Most are easy, and I can overtake them instantly. Others, the stronger ones, it gets tricky. I’m in control, but they’re there too. In order to preserve the connection, I have to create a fantasy from their memories.
Loki: And you call me a magician.

Loki: I was told that everyone who works for the TVA was created by the Time Keepers.
Sylvie: That’s ridiculous. They’re all Variants, just like us.
Loki: They don’t know that.

Sylvie: Do we trust each other?
Loki: We do, and you can.
Sylvie: Good. Because this is going to suck.

Sylvie: Do you think that what makes a Loki a Loki is the fact that we’re destined to lose?
Loki: No. We may lose. Sometimes painfully. But we don’t die. We survive. I mean, you did. You were just a child when the TVA took you, but you nearly took down the organization
that claims to govern the order of time. You did it on your own. You ran rings around them. You’re amazing!

Mobius: Well?
Loki: Well, what?
Mobius: I know you got some quip you’re dying to say.
Loki: Oh, I don’t have a quip. I’ve got nothing to say to you.
Mobius: Oh, come on.

Loki: By the way, I should have an equal amount of security. This is insulting!
Mobius: You just can’t help yourself.
Loki: You betrayed me!
Mobius: You betrayed me!
Loki: Oh, grow up!
Mobius: You grow up.

Mobius: You know, it occurred to me that you’re not really the God of Mischief.
Loki: Oh, here it comes. The folksy, dopey insult from the folksy dope. What am I? The God of Self-Sabotage, yeah? The God of Back-Stabbing?
Mobius: Just kind of an a**hole, and a bad friend. Yeah, chew on that for a little bit.

Mobius: Let him, one last desperate trick from the desperate trickster. Go ahead.
Loki: The TVA is lying to you.

Loki: Time loops. How lovely.
Sif: You. You conniving, craven, pathetic worm.
Loki: Okay. Okay, Sif. Hang on.
Sif: [slaps Loki] No, you hear this. You deserve to be alone…
Loki: And I always will be. Alright, I get it.

Loki: Listen. You are a reconstruction of a past event created by the organization that controls all of time. So you need to trust me, and you need to help me escape. Yeah?
Loki: [Sif places her hands on his shoulders] Okay, good.
Sif: [knees him in the crotch and punches him] Pathetic.

Ravonna Renslayer: Nobody speaks with that Variant.
Mobius: I mean, if there’s a mastermind here, I don’t think it’s Loki.
Ravonna Renslayer: Good. Then he should be the easiest to break. Work your Loki, and figure out what caused that spike. Time Keepers are watching, Mobius.
Mobius: They’re always watching. “Work your Loki. Work your Loki.” That ought to be my mantra.

Hunter B-15: Aren’t you supposed to be interrogating your Variant pet?
Mobius: Just stretching my legs.

Mobius: You know, we brought in Kree, Titans, vampires. Why is it the two orphan demigods are such a pain in the a**?
Hunter B-15: And yet it was your idea to bring in another one.
Mobius: I’m happy to share credit for that idea.

Hunter B-15: Did Loki say anything while you were in there?
Mobius: Yeah. He said the TVA is lying to me. Why?
Hunter B-15: Just doing my job.

Loki: Please, please, no more. Please, I beg you. I’m a horrible person. I get it. I really am. I cut off your hair because I thought it’d be funny. And it’s not. I crave attention, because I’m a narcissist. And I suppose it’s because I’m scared of being alone.
Sif: You are alone, and you always will be.

Loki: Seems you and I are in a loop of our own.
Mobius: Well, there’s been a lot of water under the bridge since then.
Loki: Certainly has.

Mobius: Okay, you said the TVA is lying to me. Go ahead. Or is that just a cockroach’s survival mechanism kicking in?
Loki: Let me out of this place, stop beating me up, and I’ll tell you.
Mobius: Cockroach. Got it.

Mobius: How long have you been working for the Variant?
Loki: Me? Working for her? Please.
Mobius: Okay, so if you’re not working for the Variant, what is it? You’re partners?
Loki: Absolutely not. She’s difficult, and irritating, and she tries to hit me all the time. No. Not partners, no.

Mobius: Yeah, I guess you don’t do partners. Unless, of course, it benefits you, and you intend to betray them at some point.
Loki: It was a means to an end, Mobius. Welcome to the real world. Down there, we’re awful to one another to get what we want.
Mobius: Now I got to have a prince tell me how the real world works?

Mobius: Why don’t you just tell me what caused the nexus event on Lamentis?
Loki: Let me say this again. I’m not going to tell you, just so you can turn around immediately afterwards and prune me.
Mobius: I guess we’ve reached a dead end then.

Loki: Okay, it’s over.
Mobius: I’m going to miss these little tete-a-tetes.
Loki: Me too.
Mobius: One guy playing checkers, you. Old Mobius playing chess, but, yeah, give my regards to Lady Sif.

Loki: Of course it was me pulling the strings all along. She came to me on Asgard a long time ago, and then she took me to one of her apocalypses, and that’s where we hatched our plan together.
Mobius: Which is?
Loki: Coming along very nicely, thank you.

Mobius: And the Variant?
Loki: Doesn’t matter. She’s a pawn. Something very, very big is going to happen. And when it does, I’ll dispose of her.
Mobius: Well, we saved you the trouble there. She’s already been pruned.

Loki: The Variant. She’s gone?
Mobius: Yeah. Not before she took out two of ours. Yeah, she was going to her Time Cell, broke free. Hunter B-15 stepped in, popped her. So you might want to fire off a thank you note to Hunter B-15, because it looks like you’re the superior Loki. I would’ve bet on her, but that’s what makes a horse race.
Loki: Good riddance.

Mobius: Look at your eyes. You like her.
Loki: What?
Mobius: You like her. Does she like you?
Loki: Was she pruned?
Mobius: I mean, no wonder you have no clue what caused the nexus event on Lamentis. Both of you are swooning over each other.

Loki: Tell me the truth!
Mobius: It’s the apocalypse. Two Variants of the same being, especially you, forming this kind of sick, twisted romantic relationship. That’s pure chaos. That could break reality. It’s breaking my reality right now. What a incredible seismic narcissist. You fell for yourself.

Loki: Her name was Sylvie.
Mobius: Ah, Sylvie. Lovely. How do you spell that? Is that with an I-E, or just an I?
Loki: Is she alive?!
Mobius: For now.

Mobius: And was infiltrating the TVA, was that always sort of the grand plan?
Loki: Our interests are aligned.
Mobius: Overthrowing the Time Keepers.
Loki: Maybe they need to be overthrown.
Mobius: I ought to box your ears.

Loki: Mobius, listen. If what Sylvie told me about this place is true, it affects all of us.
Mobius: Here we go. Now, you’ve already told me about fifty lies in the past ten minutes.
Loki: I’m not lying this time.
Mobius: Now, I’m supposed to believe your girlfriend.
Loki: I’m not lying. I’m telling you the truth. She’s not my girlfriend!
Mobius: Whatever you want to call her. What, your female self that you have some demented crush on.

Loki: You’re all Variants! Everyone who works at the TVA. The Time Keepers didn’t create you. They kidnapped you from the timeline, and erased your memories! Memories she can access through enchantment. So before this, you had a past, maybe you had a family, a life.
Mobius: Nice try. That was good. You two, what a pair! Gosh! Unbelievable. Wherever you go, it’s just death, destruction, the literal ends of worlds.

Mobius: Well, I’m going to have to close this case now, because I don’t need you anymore. Or as you might say, our interests are no longer aligned.
Loki: You know, of all the liars in this place, and there are a great many, you’re the biggest.
Mobius: Why? Because I lied about your girlfriend?
Loki: Oh, no. That I can respect. I mean, the lies you tell yourself.

Ravonna Renslayer: If you could go anywhere, anytime, where would it be?
Mobius: I can go anywhere, anytime.

Mobius: [referring to Sylvie] Why wouldn’t you let me, you know, question her?
Ravonna Renslayer: I told you, we couldn’t risk her escaping again.
Mobius: She wouldn’t have escaped.
Ravonna Renslayer: The other Variant got away during your first interrogation, didn’t he?
Mobius: Ouch.

Ravonna Renslayer: Come on. Anywhere and anytime on the timeline. Where would you go?
Mobius: I like being here now, with you, doing the work.
Ravonna Renslayer: Fine.

Ravonna Renslayer: I received word from the Time Keepers. They want to personally oversee the Variant’s pruning. And they want you there too.
Mobius: It’s about time. Great.

Ravonna Renslayer: C-20? The Variant? All these questions, what are you getting at?
Mobius: I don’t know. Something just seems a little off.
Ravonna Renslayer: Fine. You want the truth? I’m trying to protect you. Would you normally interview someone like that? Yeah. But the Variant scares the hell out of me, and I didn’t want to see anything happen to you.

Ravonna Renslayer: C-20 lost her mind. She couldn’t even form words by the end. I just couldn’t deal with that happening to you, or anyone else. Is that what you wanted to hear?
Mobius: Yeah, if it’s the truth.
Ravonna Renslayer: You’ve been spending too much time with Lokis.
Mobius: Yeah. I definitely have been spending too much time with Lokis.

Ravonna Renslayer: What we do here matters.
Mobius: I know.
Ravonna Renslayer: When we’re out there fighting for the fate of the Sacred Timeline, we’re also fighting for this. For us. Friends against time. Allies to the end. You’ve seen all of existence, same as me. So, you know, friendship like ours is uncommon. And worth fighting for. Same as the Sacred Timeline.
Mobius: It was a good speech.

Mobius: [to Renslayer] I knew I was your favorite analyst. Was that so hard to admit?

Hunter B-15: When you were in my head, I saw something. What did you do to me?
Sylvie: I showed you your life before the TVA.
Hunter B-15: That’s a trick. It’s a deception.
Sylvie: No, it’s not.
Hunter B-15: I was created by the Time Keepers.
Sylvie: No. I can’t create memories. I can only use what’s already there.

Sylvie: The Time Keepers took your lives from you. From all of you. You’re Variants. We’re the same.
Hunter B-15: Show me.

Hunter C-20: [as Mobius sees C-20’s interrogation] I’m a Variant. So are you. So is every single person in this place.

Loki: I’ve heard it once, I’ve heard it a thousand times. “You. You conniving, craven, pathetic worm. You did this.” Right?
Mobius: What are you doing?
Loki: Passing the time.

Mobius: Do you care about this Variant?
Loki: Sylvie? I’m not sure if “care” is the right word. I think we’ve covered this back in there.
Mobius: Shut up!

Mobius: Do you really think you deserve to be alone? Loki!
Loki: You told me to shut up.
Mobius: Do you really believe you deserve to be alone?
Loki: I don’t know.
Mobius: Then you better figure it out quick, because the nexus event the two of you caused, I think whatever that connection is, can bring this whole place down. So we better understand.
Loki: We?

Mobius: Do you swear she didn’t implant those memories in Hunter C-20?
Loki: Mobius, no. I believe her.
Mobius: So I just have to trust the word of two Lokis?
Loki: How about the word of a friend?

Mobius: You were right, about the TVA. You were right from the beginning. And if you want to save her, you need to trust me. Can we do that?
Loki: Yes.
Mobius: Okay. You could be whoever, whatever you want to be, even someone good. I mean, just in case anyone ever told you different.

Mobius: You know where I’d go if I could go anywhere? Wherever it is I’m really from. Yeah, wherever I had a life before the TVA came along. Maybe I had a jet ski. That’s what I’d like to do. Just riding around on my jet ski.
Ravonna Renslayer: Prune him.

Sylvie: Do you remember me?
Ravonna Renslayer: I do. What do you want to say to me, Variant?
Sylvie: What was my nexus event? Why did you bring me in?
Ravonna Renslayer: What does it matter?
Sylvie: It was enough to take my life from me, and lead to all of this. Must have been important. So what was it?
Ravonna Renslayer: I don’t remember.

Time Keeper #1: After all your struggle, at last, you’ve arrived before us.
Time Keeper #2: What do you have to say for yourselves before you meet your end, Variants?
Loki: Is that the only reason you brought us here? To kill us? I’ve lost track of the number of times I’ve been killed, so go ahead. Do your worst.
Time Keeper #3: You and your bravado are no threat to us, Variant.
Sylvie: Oh, no. I don’t think you believe that. I think you’re scared.
Time Keeper #1: No, Variant. You’re nothing but a cosmic disappointment. Delete them.

Hunter B-15: [as she intervenes the Time Keepers] For all time. Always.

Time Keeper #1: You’re a child of the Time Keepers too, Sylvie. We can talk.
Sylvie: Oh, yeah?
[throws her machete at his head, decapitating him, and revealing he’s a robot]

Sylvie: Fake. Mindless androids.
Loki: It never stops. Then who created the TVA?
Sylvie: I thought this was it.

Sylvie: Not another pep talk, please.
Loki: No, I have to tell you something. We will figure this out.
Sylvie: How do you know that?
Loki: Because, well, back on Lamentis… This is new for me.
Sylvie: What? What is it?
[suddenly Loki is pruned by Renslayer]

Ravonna Renslayer: [referring to being pruned] Do it.
Sylvie: No. You’re going to tell me everything.

Loki: [mid-credits lines] Is this Hel? Am I dead?
Classic Loki: Not yet. But you will be unless you come with us.

Ravonna Renslayer: The dogma states that the end of time is still being written, that the Time Keepers are transforming it into utopia.
Sylvie: That’s nice. Super believable.
Ravonna Renslayer: Whatever the real reason, nothing ever comes back from there. I can help you if you trust me.

Loki: I’d like to suggest we take a quick breather, so I can ask several thousand questions.
Classic Loki: Tough. Got to keep moving so we don’t die.
Loki: Okay, but what’s your plan?
Boastful Loki: Don’t die.
Loki: Okay, understood. But beyond that?
Classic Loki: Don’t die!
Loki: Don’t die isn’t a plan. It’s a general demand of living.

Loki: Will someone please explain to me what the hell is going on?! Look, it’s been a very, very, very trying past few days. Months? I don’t even know how long it’s been since New York. All I know is, I got pruned, and I woke up here, and now I’m surrounded by Variants of myself, plus an alligator, which I’m heartbroken to report, I didn’t even find all that strange! And now, we’re running from God knows what, to God knows where. When what I need to be doing is trying to find a way back to the TVA!

Kid Loki: This is the place where the TVA dumps its rubbish, everything they prune. And Alioth, he ensures none of it ever returns.

Classic Loki: We’re in a shark tank. Alioth is the shark.
[to the aligator]
Classic Loki: Oh, there’s no such thing as an alligator tank. Besides, it’s a better metaphor. He’s overly sensitive like the rest of us.
Loki: Hang on. You’re telling me that thing’s a Loki too?
Classic Loki: Oh, yes.
Loki: Okay, fine. Willing to accept that.

Loki: Why are there so many of you?
Classic Loki: Because Lokis survive. That’s just what we do.
Loki: Great. So how do we escape?
Classic Loki: We don’t. All of us were arrested by the TVA and pruned, just like you. And just like you’re doing right now, we all stood around making bad plans that went nowhere.

Loki: Well surely there’s something to do.
Classic Loki: There is. Survive. That’s all there is. All there ever was.
Kid Loki: We’re done talking. Let’s go. Just do what you want, I guess.

Loki: Why do you wear the horns? You let a child command you.
Classic Loki: You’ll do well to respect the boy. This is his kingdom.
Loki: Right. What was your nexus event, Your Majesty?
Kid Loki: I killed Thor.

Classic Loki: So, why did you want to return to the TVA so badly, anyway?
Boastful Loki: You leave your glorious purpose there?
Loki: Something like that.

Sylvie: What about the end of time?
Ravonna Renslayer: It’s just a void.
Sylvie: What if The Void isn’t the end? What if there’s something beyond it?

Ravonna Renslayer: It’s a spaceship designed to withstand the temporal void. It could conceivably take us to the end of time.
Sylvie: Find Loki.
Ravonna Renslayer: Find the man behind the curtain.
Sylvie: And kill him.
Ravonna Renslayer: Together.

Ravonna Renslayer: Sylvie? Not thinking of going on the run, are you? We know where you hide. Sooner or later, we’ll catch you. It must be so exhausting.
Sylvie: I’ll admit you had me fooled there for a minute. Or did you get a little real? Did Judge Renslayer really feel betrayed by her beloved TVA?
Ravonna Renslayer: Why don’t you come back out and we can talk about it?
Sylvie: Sure. Just tell everyone else to pi** off and we can settle this between us.
Ravonna Renslayer: Works for me.

Sylvie: What happened to finding the man behind the curtain?
Ravonna Renslayer: Tell you what. You come out with your hands up, and I’ll put you in a time loop. Something not so bad. You can live out your days in a good memory. Do you have any good memories?
Sylvie: Just one really.
[she then prunes herself]

Boastful Loki: So, after I vanquished Captain America, and Iron Man, I claimed my prize, all six Infinity Stones.
Classic Loki: That’s alligator for growling, and saying “liar” at the same time.
Boastful Loki: Well, at least my nexus event wasn’t eating the wrong neighbor’s cat.

Loki: Well, we’re supposed to die, right? Thanos kills us after Ragnarok.
Classic Loki: Thanos? In my timeline, everything proceeded correctly, my entire life, until Thanos attacked our ship.
Loki: So, you didn’t try to stab him?
Classic Loki: Certainly not. Take no offense, my friends, but blades are worthless in the face of a Loki sorcery. They stunt our magical potential.
Boastful Loki: But they look awesome.
Classic Loki: Oh, yes. Especially when they clatter to the ground just before your neck is snapped.

Classic Loki: After I faked my death, I simply drifted in space. Away from Thor, away from everything. Thought about the universe, and my place in it, and it occurred to me that everywhere I went, only pain followed. So I removed myself from the equation, landed on a remote planet, and stayed there in isolation, in solitude for a long, long time.

Loki: How did the TVA find you?
Classic Loki: I got lonely. To tell you the truth, I missed my brother, and I wondered if he missed me, if anybody else did. But as soon as I took my first steps to getting off the planet, the TVA arrived. Because we, my friends, have but one part to play, the God of Outcasts. Nothing more. The God of Outcasts.

Loki: We may be good at surviving, but we’re also good at escaping. I’ll wager that gives me a decent chance as any.
Classic Loki: You won’t do either, you’ll be brutally murdered.
Loki: Well, so be it. That was my destiny to begin with.

Kid Loki: You’re different. Why?
Loki: No, I’m not. You see, I’m the same. Really. I’m the same as all of you.

Loki: Have any of you met a woman Variant of us?
Classic Loki: Sounds terrifying.
Loki: Oh, she is. But that’s kind of what’s great about her. She’s different.

Loki: Now, you said Alioth is what keeps us here. You said it’s a living thing. You said it’s a shark. Well, if it lives, it dies. So I’m going to kill the shark. I’m going to kill Alioth, and I could use all the help I can get.
Classic Loki: [the Lokis laugh] Yeah, baby. Yeah!
Loki: [to himself] Monsters.

President Loki: Ah. Hello, which one of us are you?
Loki: This is a nightmare.

Sylvie: You!
Mobius: Could you shut the door? We still got a little bit of a situation here. By the way, you should be careful just jumping into a stranger’s car like that.

Classic Loki: [to Loki] You bastard! You led the wolves to our door.
President Loki: We prefer snakes to wolves.
Kid Loki: I’ve eaten both. They die just the same.

Boastful Loki: Apologies, my liege. I betrayed you, and now, I’m king.
President Loki: About that…
Boastful Loki: You can’t be serious.
President Loki: Come on. What did you expect?

President Loki: [as the other Lokis betray him] Why you beef-witted, half-faced scrubs. We had a deal!

President Loki: Why the hell is there an alligator in here?
Classic and Kid Loki: He’s a Loki!

Classic Loki: Damn it! Animals. Animals! We lie, and we cheat, we cut the throats of every person who trusts us, and for what? Power. Glorious power. Glorious purpose! We cannot change. We’re broken, every version of us. Forever.
Kid Loki: And whenever one of us dares try to fix themselves, they’re sent here to die.
Loki: That’s why I need to get out of here!

Classic Loki: [referring to Sylvie] And you trust her?
Loki: She’s the only one I do trust. And right now, I believe she’s our only chance of stopping the TVA.

Mobius: All that time, I really believed we were the good guys.
Sylvie: Annihilating entire realities, orphaning little girls, classic hero stuff.
Mobius: Well, I guess when you think the ends justify the means, there’s not much you won’t do. By the way, you did some annihilating too.
Sylvie: I did what I had to do.
Mobius: Yeah, so did I.
Sylvie: You hunted me like a dog.
Mobius: I’m sorry about that.

Sylvie: When I pruned myself, I thought I might be able to find Loki. That storm, that thing, it’s likely already got him.
Mobius: You really believe that?
Sylvie: It doesn’t matter. The only thing that matters now is getting out of her and finding out who’s behind all of this.

Classic Loki: I have to say, it feels odd walking toward the gargantuan creature. Do you have a plan of action?
Loki: Get inside, find its heart, or brain, or whatever, and then, you know, do it in.
Kid Loki: I mean…
Loki: Okay, just because it’s not complicated, it doesn’t mean it’s bad.
Kid Loki: It also doesn’t mean it’s good.
Loki: [as Aligator Loki growls] See? He’s on board.
Classic Loki: He’s praying. He thinks we’re going to die.

Loki: [as they see a car along the horizon] Is that bad?
Kid Loki: Well, usually means cannibalistic marauders, or cannibalistic pirates.
Loki: Delightful.

Classic Loki: [as Loki runs towards Sylvie] I don’t understand. Is he a coward, or was he being brave?
Loki: I’m not too sure.

Loki: Mobius! How did you…
Sylvie: We thought you could do with some backup.
Loki: [as Sylvie sees the other Lokis] Oh, no. Wait, wait, wait. These are my friends. Well, they’re, how best to put this? Us as a child, us in the future, and us as an alligator. It’s best not to question it.
Mobius: You throw a rock out here, you hit a Loki.

Loki: Yes, we’re going to kill Alioth.
Sylvie: Oh, my God. That was your plan.
Loki: Yeah.
Sylvie: And you all went along with it?
Classic Loki: Probably unsafe.
Kid Loki: Oh, well, I was having my doubts.

Loki: [referring to Alioth] Okay, so how do we get past the guard dog?
Sylvie: I’m going to enchant it.
Loki: [laughs] That’s insane, right?
Sylvie: As insane as what? Paper-cutting a giant cloud to death?

Hunter B-15: You were in the Time Keepers chambers. They weren’t real.
Ravonna Renslayer: And why do you think does that changes anything?
Hunter B-15: That changes everything! The people need to know the truth.
Ravonna Renslayer: No. The TVA needs stability. And until we figure out what’s going on, that is what it will get.

Ravonna Renslayer: [referring to Sylvie] I want you to tell me what drives her.
Hunter B-15: Revenge drives her. Killing the Time Keepers. But they turned out to be fake, in case you forgot. So she’ll be searching for whomever created them.

Hunter B-15: This isn’t about protecting the TVA at all, is it? You just want to find whoever is behind all of this too. You’ll never find them. Not before she does.
Ravonna Renslayer: And why is that?
Hunter B-15: You only want it. She needs it.

Classic Loki: You really don’t remember him?
Mobius: I mean, the TVA arrested a lot of Lokis, but, no, I don’t remember an alligator. I mean, who’s to say he’s even a Loki Variant?
Classic Loki: He is green, isn’t he?
Mobius: I don’t know, he could be lying. The long con. Of course, that just makes him more likely to be a Loki. It’s always the game within the game with you guys, which I respect.

Classic Loki: So just like that, you’re turning on the very thing you devoted your life to.
Mobius: Well, it’s never too late to change.

Sylvie: Mobius isn’t so bad.
Loki: Or so good. I think that’s why we get along.
Sylvie: He cares about you.

Loki: [as he conjures himself a blanket] I could conjure one for you, if you like.
Sylvie: I tell you what, you could conjure me a new outfit. You have no idea how uncomfortable something like this is.

Sylvie: So, Mobius and his theory about…
Loki: Oh, right, right. About our nexus event.
Sylvie: Total rubbish, right?
Loki: Absolutely. Of course. I mean…
Sylvie: I don’t mean that it wasn’t, you know, a nice moment.
Loki: No, it was great. It was really nice. It was great.
Sylvie: It just sounds like another TVA lie.
Loki: A hundred percent. I mean, totally. Yeah.

Sylvie: I don’t know how to do this.
Loki: I don’t even know what we’re doing.
Sylvie: I don’t have friends. I don’t have anyone.
Loki: Well, you know, more important things, right?
Sylvie: Right? Yeah. Like bringing down the TVA.
Loki: I mean, saving the universe, if you think about it.
Sylvie: Well, there’s no need to be dramatic. But, yeah, kind of.

Sylvie: [as Loki conjures the blanket around both of them] It’s not very snuggly.
Loki: Okay.
Sylvie: Is it a tablecloth?
Loki: No, it’s a blanket.

Sylvie: How do I know that, in the final moments, you won’t betray me?
Loki: Listen, Sylvie, I betrayed everyone who ever loved me. I betrayed my father, my brother, my home. I know what I did. And I know why I did it. And that’s not who I am anymore. Okay? I won’t let you down.
Sylvie: You sure? Because if we make it, and the TVA is gone, there might be a timeline for you to rule.
Loki: Ah. And then I’d finally be happy.

Loki: What about you? What will you do when this is all over?
Sylvie: I don’t know.
Loki: I don’t know either. Maybe we could figure it out together.
Sylvie: Maybe.

Loki: I’m staying.
Sylvie: Loki, I don’t know if this is going to work.
Loki: You go, I go.

Mobius: You boys want a ticket out of here?
Kid Loki: What? No. We’re staying here.
Classic Loki: This is our home.
Loki: Are you sure? What about Alioth?
Classic Loki: We’ve survived this long. We know what we’re doing.

Classic Loki: [to Loki] Good luck. I hope you find what you’re looking for.

Mobius: Looks like you got away in the end.
Loki: I always do.

Loki: What will you do at the TVA?
Mobius: Burn it to the ground. Thanks for the spark. Well, see you later, Loki.
Loki: [as he embraces Mobius] Thank you, my friend.
Mobius: [whispers to Sylvie] You’re my favorite.

Loki: I think we’re stronger than we realize.

Loki: What are you doing?
Sylvie: We’re going to enchant it.
Loki: I don’t know how!
Sylvie: You do. Because we’re the same!

Classic Loki: Glorious purpose!

Sylvie: It’s fiction.
Loki: We write our own destiny now.
Miss Minutes: Oh, sure you do. Good luck with that.

Loki: He Who Remains.
Sylvie: Not for much longer.
Loki: Are we sure he’s even still alive?

He Who Remains: This is wild. The two of you, same person. I mean, it’s a little unnatural. But, wow! Wild.

Sylvie: He Who Remains?
He Who Remains: He Who Remains. She still calls me that? Creepy, right? But, I like it.

He Who Remains: Not what you were expecting, hmm?
Loki: You’re just a man.
He Who Remains: Flesh and blood. Don’t tell me I’m a disappointment.
Sylvie: No. Just a little bit easier to kill.

Ravonna Renslayer: I said I wasn’t to be disturbed.
Mobius: Well, then you’re not going to be happy to see me. He’s back.
Ravonna Renslayer: If anyone was ever going to make it back from The Void, I suppose it was going to be you.
Mobius: Oh, well, you know, one man’s Void is another man’s piece of cake.

Ravonna Renslayer: So you’re going to prune me?
Mobius: I like that idea. But, you know, my standards might be a little bit higher in that area than yours. You know, with close personal friends.
Ravonna Renslayer: I’m sorry, Mobius. I couldn’t let you get in the way of our mission.
Mobius: Mission? The Time Keepers are fake. We’re all Variants. What mission?
Ravonna Renslayer: It can’t have been for nothing. That’s why I had to prune you.

He Who Remains: [to Sylvie] Been a long journey for you, hasn’t it? Lot of running, lot of pain.
He Who Remains: [to Loki] And you, you’re a flea on the back of a dragon. In for one hell of a ride. But you did manage to hang on. I guess that counts for something.
Loki: I’m not sure you quite understand the situation. You’ve lost. We found you.
He Who Remains: Duh. Of course you did.

He Who Remains: [shows them their transcribed conversation] You can’t kill me because I already know what’s going to happen. See?
Loki: It’s a parlor trick.

He Who Remains: I know it all. And I’ve seen it all. Everything you guys did on Lamentis, I saw. All the stuff the TVA didn’t know about, I knew. All the scheming, all the talking. That little look by the lake. Quite sentimental. Very touching stuff, by the way.
Sylvie: No. No, we broke out of your little game. That’s how we got here.
He Who Remains: No. Wrong. Every step you took to get here, Lamentis, The Void, I paved the road. You, you just walked down it. And I have the rest, right here. Everything that’s going to happen.

He Who Remains: There’s only one way this can go.
Sylvie: Then why are we here?
He Who Remains: Oh, come on. You know you can’t get to the end until you’ve been changed by the journey. This stuff, it needs to happen. To get us all in the right mindset to finish the quest.
Loki: Right. So it’s all a game. It’s all a manipulation.
He Who Remains: Interesting, that your head would go to that.

He Who Remains: Sylvie, you think you can trust this guy?
Loki: Don’t listen to him.
He Who Remains: “Don’t listen to him.” Do you think you’re even capable of trusting anyone at all?

Mobius: I think people are ready to hear a little truth now. You know, like the TVA is a lie.
Ravonna Renslayer: But what if it’s a necessary one? Someone created the Time Keepers. They created this whole place. They gave us all purpose. I have to believe they had a reason.
Mobius: No, because I’ve seen the horror waiting for people when they get pruned, and there’s nothing necessary about that.

Ravonna Renslayer: You know what would happen if we didn’t prune the Timeline?
Mobius: What?
Ravonna Renslayer: Chaos. Death.
Mobius: Free will?
Ravonna Renslayer: Free will? Only one person gets free will. The one in charge.

Mobius: “Friends across time. Allies to the end.”
Ravonna Renslayer: Shut up.
Mobius: That was so beautiful. And then you sent me to die. What happened to you?
Ravonna Renslayer: Nothing, Mobius. I didn’t change.
Mobius: You didn’t change? You betrayed me.
Ravonna Renslayer: No, no. You betrayed me! I looked out for you, hung my neck out for you, and you suffer a crisis of faith and turn to those Variants? Eons of friendship. And you threw it all away on a couple of Lokis. No, Mobius. I didn’t betray you.
Mobius: We can’t take away people’s free will, Ravonna. Do you not see that?

Mobius: Look, maybe we can build this into something better together.
Ravonna Renslayer: I’m sorry, Mobius.
Mobius: I’m not going to let you go.
Ravonna Renslayer: [referring to the prune stick] Please, Mobius. Even with that, you’re of no danger to me.
Mobius: Is that what you think? Let’s see.

Mobius: [as Rensalayer knocks him to the ground] Yep, you were right. Back here again.

Mobius: Where are you going to go?
Ravonna Renslayer: In search of free will.

He Who Remains: I understand your moral objections to what the TVA does. And my methods are deceptive. But the mission, it never was. Without the me, without the TVA, everything burns.
Loki: Then what are you so afraid of?
He Who Remains: Me.
Sylvie: And just who are you?
He Who Remains: Oh, I’ve been dubbed many names by many people. A ruler. A conqueror. He Who Remains. A jerk. But it’s not as simple as a name.

He Who Remains: Eons ago, before the TVA, a variant of myself lived on Earth in the 31st century. He was a scientist, and he discovered that there were universes stacked on top of his own. At the same time, other versions of us were learning the same thing. Naturally, they made contact. And for a while, there was peace. Narcissistic, self-congratulatory peace. “I love your shoes. I love your hair. Oh, man, nice nose. Thanks, man.” Et cetera. They shared technology and knowledge. Using the best of their universes to improve the others. However, not every version of me was so pure of heart.

He Who Remains: To some of us, new worlds meant only one thing, new lands to be conquered. The peace between realities, erupted into all-out war, each variant fighting to preserve their universe and annihilate the others. This was almost the end, ladies and gentlemen, of everything and everyone.
Sylvie: And then the Time Keepers came along and saved us all.
He Who Remains: [mockingly sings] Amen

He Who Remains: No. No. Nope, this is where we diverge from the dogma. That first variant encountered a creature created from all the tears in reality, capable of consuming time and space itself. A creature, you both know.
Loki: Alioth.
He Who Remains: Bingo!

He Who Remains: I harnessed the beast’s power and began experimenting on it. I weaponized Alioth, and I ended the Multiversal War. Once I isolated our timeline, all I had to do was manage the flow of time, and prevent any further branches. Hence, the TVA. Hence, the Time Keepers and a highly efficient bureaucracy. Hence, ages, and ages of cosmic harmony! Hence, you’re welcome.

He Who Remains: You came to kill the devil, right? Well, guess what? I keep you safe. And if you think I’m evil, well, just wait till you meet my variants. And that’s the gambit! Stifling order, or cataclysmic chaos. You may hate the dictator, but something, far worse is going to fill that void if you depose of him.

He Who Remains: I’ve lived a million lifetimes. I’ve gone through every scenario. This is the only way. The TVA, it works.
Sylvie: Or, you’re a liar.
He Who Remains: Or I’m a liar.
Loki: So you just continue to prune innocent timelines?
He Who Remains: Mm-mm. You two would.

He Who Remains: There’s two options! One, you kill me, and destroy all this, so you don’t just have one devil, you have an infinite amount. Or, you two. You two run the thing.
Loki: You’re lying. Why would you give up being in control?
He Who Remains: Buddy, I’m tired. And I’m older. I’m older than I look. This game is for the young, the hungry. I’ve gone through a lot of scenarios, trying to find the right person to take this spot. And it turns out that person came in two. But it’s definitely you two.

He Who Remains: So, no more lies. You kill me, and the Sacred Timeline is completely exposed. Multiversal War. Or, you take over, and return to the TVA as its benevolent rulers. Tell the workforce who they are, and why they do what they do.

Sylvie: You treated real people’s lives like some kind of game.
He Who Remains: It’s not personal, it’s practical.
Sylvie: It was personal to me.
He Who Remains: Grow up! Grow up, Sylvie! Murderer! Hypocrite!

He Who Remains: We’re all villains here. We’ve all done horrible, terrible, horrific things. But now, we, you have a chance to do them for a good reason.

He Who Remains: We just crossed the threshold. So I fibbed. I fibbed earlier when I said I know how everything’s going to go. I knew everything up to a certain point, and that point was about, seven, eight, nine, ten seconds ago. But now I have no idea. No idea how the rest of this is going to go. I’m being candid.

Loki: So that’s it? That’s it? This is what happens at the end of time? And now you’re just going to sit there with all that freedom, and let us decide your fate?
He Who Remains: Yes! Yes! Yes! What’s the worst that can happen? You either take over, and my life’s work continues, or you plunge a blade in my chest, and an infinite amount of me start another Multiversal War. And I just end up right back here anyways. Reincarnation, baby.
Sylvie: No, it’s just another lie. Another manipulation.
He Who Remains: Oh. No lie. No manipulation.

He Who Remains: I love this. I love all this honesty. Feels like a fresh start.

Sylvie: [as Loki stops her from killing He Who Remains] What are you doing?
Loki: Sylvie, Hang on a moment. Let’s just talk about it.
Sylvie: Well, how about we finish what we started, and kill him?

Loki: What if he’s telling the truth?
Sylvie: So what?
Loki: I believe him.
Sylvie: You believe what? That a bazillion boogeymen are going to turn up just because we give people free will? He’s a liar, Loki!
Loki: So am I. And I don’t think he was lying. Not about that. Insane? Yes. But maybe he was telling the truth.

Sylvie: So what are you suggesting?
Loki: I’m just suggesting that we think about it.
Sylvie: And what precisely is there to think about?
Loki: Weren’t you listening to what he was saying? That’s the gambit. Remove the dictator, and what fills the void?
Sylvie: Ah. You want the throne?
Loki: No, that’s not it. No.
Sylvie: I don’t believe you.

Loki: Sylvie, the universe is in the balance, everything we know to be true. Everything. I know the TVA has hurt us both. But what if by taking him out, we risk unleashing something even worse? All I’m suggesting is we just take a minute to think about it. I promise you from my heart this isn’t about a throne.
Sylvie: What was I thinking trusting you?

Sylvie: This whole thing been a con?
Loki: Really? That’s what you think of me, after all this time? Sure. Why not? Evil Loki’s master plan comes together. Well, you never trusted me, did you? What was the point? Can’t you see? This is bigger than our experience.

Sylvie: Why aren’t we seeing this the same way?
Loki: Because you can’t trust, and I can’t be trusted.
Sylvie: Then I guess we’re in a pickle.

Loki: Maybe he’s lying! Maybe he’s not! The cost of getting this wrong is too great.
Sylvie: Fine. Do it! Kill me. Take your throne.
Loki: No.

Loki: I’ve been where you are. I’ve felt what you feel. Don’t ask me how I know. All I know is, I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want a throne. I just want you to be okay.
Sylvie: [after she kisses him] But I’m not you.
[she then sends Loki back to TVA headquarters]

He Who Remains: Incredible.
Sylvie: Aren’t you going to beg for your life?
He Who Remains: Could, could.
He Who Remains: [Sylvie stabs him] I’ll see you soon.

Mobius: [as they see the timelines branching] No turning back now.
Hunter B-15: Who said anything about turning back?
Mobius: For all time.
Hunter B-15: Always.

Mobius: That’s, what, sixty-three new branches in this unit alone?
Hunter B-15: Does he want us to just let them all branch?
Mobius: Well, at this point, how are we going to stop it?
Loki: We can’t!
Mobius: What? What did you say?
Loki: It’s done, Mobius. We made a terrible mistake.

Loki: We freed the Timeline. We found him beyond the storm. A Citadel at the End of Time. He’s terrifying. He planned everything. He’s seen everything. He knows everything. It’s complicated. Okay? But someone is coming. Countless different versions of a very dangerous person. And they’re all set on war. We need to prepare.
Mobius: Take it easy. You’re an analyst, right? What division are you from?
Loki: What? What are you talking about?
Mobius: Who are you? What’s your name?
Hunter B-15: [into the TemPad] Boots on the ground now. Archives.
Mobius: Who are you?