Standout Quotes From All The Pirates of the Caribbean Movies

Murtogg: This dock is off-limits to civilians.
Jack Sparrow: I’m terribly sorry, I didn’t know. If I see one, I shall inform you immediately.

Mullroy: What’s your purpose in Port Royal, Mr. Smith?
Murtogg: Yeah, and no lies!
Jack Sparrow: Alright then. I confess. It is my intention to commandeer one of these ships, pick up a crew in Tortuga, raid, pillage, plunder, and otherwise, pilfer my weasely black guts out.
Murtogg: I said, no lies!
Mullroy: I think he’s telling the truth.
Murtogg: If he were telling the truth, he wouldn’t have told us.
Jack Sparrow: Unless, of course, he knew you wouldn’t believe the truth, even if he told it to you.

Jack Sparrow: You seem somewhat familiar. Have I threatened you before?
Will Turner: I make a point of avoiding familiarity with pirates.

[referring to the swords as they’re sword fighting]
Jack Sparrow: Who makes all these?
Will Turner: I do. And I practice with them three hours a day.
Jack Sparrow: You need to find yourself a girl, mate. Or perhaps the reason you practice three hours a day is that you already found one, and are otherwise incapable of wooing said strumpet. You’re not a eunuch, are you?
Will Turner: I practice three hours a day, so that when I meet a pirate, I can kill it!

Will Turner: You cheated.
Jack Sparrow: Pirate.

Barbossa: What is it that you want?
Elizabeth Swann: I want you to leave and never come back.
Barbossa: I’m disinclined to acquiesce to your request. Means no.

Will Turner: This is either madness or brilliance.
Jack Sparrow: It’s remarkable how often those two traits coincide.

Jack Sparrow: [to Will] The only rules that really matter are these, what a man can do, and what a man can’t do. For instance, you can accept that your father was a pirate and a good man, or you can’t. But pirate is in your blood, boy, so you’ll have to square with that someday. Now, me, for example, I can let you drown, but I can’t bring this ship into Tortuga all by me onesies. Savvy? So, can you sail under the command of a pirate? Or can you not?

Jack Sparrow: You know, for having such a bleak outlook on pirates, you’re well on your way to becoming one. Sprung a man from jail, commandeered a ship of the fleet, sailed with a buccaneer crew out of Tortuga, and you’re completely obsessed with treasure.
Will Turner: That’s not true. I am not obsessed with treasure.
Jack Sparrow: Not all treasure is silver and gold, mate.

Koehler: [to Barbossa] Every decision you’ve made has led us from bad to worse!

Pintel: You’re supposed to be dead!
Jack Sparrow: Am I not?

Jack Sparrow: Purlaley. Purlalelayloo. Parleenee. Parsnip. Parsley. Partner. Pardoner.
Ragetti: Parley?
Jack Sparrow: That’s the one! Parley! Parley!
Pintel: Parley?! Damn to the depths whatever muttonhead thought up parley!
Jack Sparrow: That would be the French.

Barbossa: How the blazes did you get off that island?
Jack Sparrow: When you marooned me on that godforsaken spit of land, you forgot one very important thing, mate. I’m Captain Jack Sparrow.

Jack Sparrow: [to Babossa] Of the two of us, I am the only one who hasn’t committed mutiny. Therefore, my word is the one we’ll be trusting. Although, I suppose I should be thanking you because, in fact, if you hadn’t betrayed me and left me to die, I would have an equal share in that curse, same as you. Funny ol’ world, isn’t it?

Barbossa: [to Will] Who are you?
Jack Sparrow: No one! He’s no one. A distant cousin of my aunt’s nephew, twice removed. Lovely singing voice though. Eunuch.

Jack Sparrow: What are you doing? You’ve burned all the food, the shade, the rum!
Elizabeth Swann: Yes, the rum is gone.
Jack Sparrow: Why is the rum gone?
Elizabeth Swann: One, because it is a vile drink that turns even the most respectable men into complete scoundrels. Two, that signal is over a thousand feet high. The entire Royal Navy is out looking for me. Do you really think that there is even the slightest chance they won’t see it?
Jack Sparrow: But why is the rum gone?

[after seeing Jack is alive]
Barbossa: It’s not possible!
Jack Sparrow: Not probable.

Will Turner: Where’s Elizabeth?
Jack Sparrow: She’s safe, just like I promised. She’s all set to marry Norrington, just like she promised, and you get to die for her, just like you promised. So we’re all men of our word really. Except for Elizabeth, who is, in fact, a woman.

[after Jack shoots him]
Barbossa: Ten years you carry that pistol, and now you waste your shot.
Will Turner: He didn’t waste it.

Jack Sparrow: [to Will] If you were waiting for the opportune moment, that was it.

Jack Sparrow: I thought you were supposed to keep to the code.
Joshamee Gibbs: We figured they were more actual guidelines.

Jack Sparrow: Now, bring me that horizon.
[starts humming A Pirate’s Life for Me]
Jack Sparrow: And really bad eggs. Drink up, me hearties. Yo ho.

Jack Sparrow: Is this a dream?
Bootstrap Bill: No.
Jack Sparrow: I thought not. If it were, there’d be rum.

Gibbs: So we’re setting out to find whatever this key unlocks.
Jack Sparrow: No. If we don’t have the key, we can’t open whatever it is we don’t have that it unlocks. So what purpose would be served in finding whatever need be unlocked, which we don’t have, without first having found the key what unlocks it?
Gibbs: So we’re going after this key.
Jack Sparrow: You’re not making any sense at all.

Giselle: Jack Sparrow?
Scarlett: I haven’t seen him in a month.
Giselle: When you find him, will you give him a message?
[slaps Will in the face]

[as Ragetti is reading the bible]
Pintel: You know you can’t read.
Ragetti: It’s the Bible. You get credit for trying.
Pintel: Pretending to read the Bible’s a lie! That’s a mark against…
[he points above, meaning God]

Will Turner: What about Jack? I won’t leave without him.
[they suddenly see Jack being chased by cannibals in the distance]
Will Turner: Time to go.

Gibbs: Let’s put some distance between us and this island and head out to open sea.
Jack Sparrow: Yes to the first. Yes to the second, but only insofar as we keep to the shallows as much as possible.
Gibbs: That seems a bit contradictory, captain.
Jack Sparrow: I have every faith in your reconciliatory navigational skills, Master Gibbs. Now, where is that monkey? I want to shoot something.

Will Turner: Jack, Elizabeth is in danger.
Jack Sparrow: Have you considered keeping a more watchful eye on her? Maybe just lock her up somewhere.
Will Turner: She is locked up in a prison, bound to hang for helping you!

[referring to the drawing of the key]
Will Turner: You want me to find this?
Jack Sparrow: No. You want you to find this, because the finding of this finds you incapacitorially finding and or locating in your discovering a way to save your dolly belle, ol’ what’s-her-face. Savvy?

Tia Dalma: You have a touch of destiny about you, William Turner.
Will Turner: You know me?
Tia Dalma: You want to know me.
Jack Sparrow: There’ll be no knowing here! We’ve come for help and we’re not leaving without it.

Tia Dalma: Land is where you are safe, Jack Sparrow, and so you will carry land with you.
Jack Sparrow: Dirt. This is a jar of dirt.
Tia Dalma: Yes.
Jack Sparrow: Is the jar of dirt going to help?
Tia Dalma: If you don’t want it, give it back.
Jack Sparrow: No.
Tia Dalma: Then it helps.

Davy Jones: Life is cruel. Why should the afterlife be any different?

Davy Jones: You have a debt to pay. You’ve been captain of the Black Pearl for thirteen years. That was our agreement!
Jack Sparrow: Technically, I was only captain for two years, then I was viciously mutinied upon.
Davy Jones: Then you were a poor captain, but a captain nonetheless! Have you not introduced yourself all these years as Captain Jack Sparrow?

Davy Jones: But I wonder, Sparrow, can you live with this? Can you condemn an innocent man, a friend, to a lifetime of servitude in your name while you roam free?
[thinks for a moment]
Jack Sparrow: Yep. I’m good with it.

Jack Sparrow: [to Elizabeth] You know, these clothes do not flatter you at all. It should be a dress or nothing. I happen to have no dress in my cabin.

Cutler Beckett: So you see, Mercer, every man has a price he will willingly accept. Even for what he hoped never to sell.

Jack Sparrow: [to Elizabeth] My tremendous intuitive sense of the female creature informs me that you are troubled.

Jack Sparrow: We are very much alike, you and I. I and you. Us.
Elizabeth Swann: Oh. Except for a sense of honor, and decency, and a moral center. And personal hygiene.
[Jack sniffs his armpit]
Jack Sparrow: Trifles.

Jack Sparrow: I want my jar of dirt.

Jack Sparrow: Guard the boat. Mind the tide. Don’t touch my dirt.

[referring to the Dead Man’s Chest]
Elizabeth Swann: It’s real.
Norrington: You actually were telling the truth.
Jack Sparrow: I do that quite a lot. Yet people are always surprised.
Will Turner: With good reason!

Will Turner: We should turn and fight.
Jack Sparrow: Why fight when you can negotiate? All one needs is the proper leverage.

Will Turner: He thinks we’re a hallucination.
Jack Sparrow: William, tell me something. Have you come because you need my help to save a certain distressing damsel, or rather, damsel in distress? Either one.
Will Turner: No.
Jack Sparrow: Well then, you wouldn’t be here, would you? So you can’t be here. QED, you’re not really here.

Jack Sparrow: Leave you people alone for just a minute, look what happens. Everything’s gone to pot!

Barbossa: Still thinking of running, Jack? Think you can outrun the world? You know, the problem with being the last of anything, by and by there be none left at all.
Jack Sparrow: Sometimes things come back, mate. We’re living proof, you and me.
Barbossa: Aye, but that’s a gamble of long odds, ain’t it? There’s never a guarantee of coming back. But passing on, that’s dead certain.

Barbossa: The world used to be a bigger place.
Jack Sparrow: The world’s still the same. There’s just less in it.

Captain Sao Feng: I’m sorry, Jack, but there is an old friend who wants to see you first.
Jack Sparrow: I’m not certain I can survive any more visits from old friends.

Jack Sparrow: I have no sympathy for any of you feculent maggots, and no more patience to pretend otherwise. Gentlemen, I wash my hands of this weirdness.

Jack Sparrow: You may kill me, but you may never insult me. Who am I?
[Beckett shakes his head in confusion]
Jack Sparrow: I’m Captain Jack Sparrow.

Cutler Beckett: You’re mad.
Jack Sparrow: Thank goodness for that, because if I wasn’t, this would probably never work.
[he fires the cannon, which catapults him onto his ship]
Jack Sparrow: And that was without even a single drop of rum.

Will Turner: I’m losing her, Jack. Every step I make for my father is a step away from Elizabeth.
Jack Sparrow: Mate, if you choose to lock your heart away, you’ll lose her for certain.

Jack Sparrow: If I may lend a machete to your intellectual thicket.

Gibbs: Look alive and keep a weather eye! It’s not for naught it’s called Shipwreck Island. Where lies Shipwreck Cove and the town of Shipwreck.

Jack Sparrow: You know, for all that pirates are clever clogs, we are an unimaginative lot when it comes to naming things.
Gibbs: Aye.
Jack Sparrow: I once sailed with a geezer who lost both of his arms and part of his eye.
Gibbs: What did you call him?
Jack Sparrow: Larry.

Barbossa: There’s not been a gathering like this in our lifetime.
Jack Sparrow: And I owe them all money.

Captain Jocard: Who is this betrayer?
Barbossa: Not likely anyone among us.
Elizabeth Swann: Where’s Will?
Jack Sparrow: Not among us.

[referring to Barbossa]
Captain Ammand: Shoot him.
Captain Jocard: Cut out his tongue!
Jack Sparrow: Shoot him and cut out his tongue, and then shoot his tongue! And trim that scraggly beard.

Elizabeth Swann: This is madness.
Jack Sparrow: This is politics.

Jack Sparrow: We must fight, to run away.

Jack Sparrow: You’ve seen it all, done it all. You survived. That’s the trick, isn’t it? To survive?
Captain Teague: It’s not just about living forever, Jackie. The trick is living with yourself forever.

Cutler Beckett: Don’t blame Turner. He was merely the tool of your betrayal. If you wish to see its grand architect, look to your left.
[Barbossa and Elizabeth look left to Jack]
Jack Sparrow: My hands are clean in this. Figuratively.

Elizabeth Swann: Will, I’ve been aboard the Dutchman. I understand the burden you bear, but I fear that cause is lost.
Will Turner: No cause is lost if there is but one fool left to fight for it.

Jack Sparrow: Nobody move! I dropped me brain.

[during the battle in the maelstrom]
Will Turner: Elizabeth, will you marry me?
Elizabeth Swann: I don’t think now’s the best time!
Will Turner: Now may be the only time! I love you. I’ve made my choice. What’s yours?
Elizabeth Swann: Barbossa! Marry us!
Barbossa: I’m a little busy at the moment!

Davy Jones: You’re a cruel man, Jack Sparrow!
Jack Sparrow: Cruel is a matter of perspective.

Elizabeth Swann: Jack, it would never have worked out between us.
Jack Sparrow: Keep telling yourself that, darling.

Jack Sparrow: Ladies! Will you please shut it? Listen to me.
[to Giselle]
Jack Sparrow: Yes, I lied to you.
[to Scarlett]
Jack Sparrow: No, I don’t love you.
[to Giselle]
Jack Sparrow: Of course it makes you look fat.
[to Scarlett]
Jack Sparrow: I’ve never been to Brussels.
[to Giselle]
Jack Sparrow: It is pronounced “egregious”.
[to Scarlett]
Jack Sparrow: By the way, no. I’ve never actually met Pizarro, but I love his pies.
[to both]
Jack Sparrow: And all of this pales to utter insignificance in light of the fact that my ship is once again gone. Savvy?
[Giselle and Scarlette slap Jack, then Jack slaps Gibbs]

Barbossa: There’s more than one way to live forever.