Slow Horses is available to watch on Apple TV+.
Season 2 Quotes
Shirley Dander: I wouldn’t take length of service in this s**thole as a status symbol.
Roddy Ho: Prisoners have hierarchies. Humans organize themselves according to power.
Jackson Lamb: This is Soho? But where’s all the prostitutes and the junkies?
Louisa Guy: [referring to Bow’s cause of death] Well, he was in his sixties, smoked, drank. Was probably on the cards.
Jackson Lamb: But I do all that and look at me. I’m in my prime.
River Cartwright: [referring to Bow] Why would someone want to kill this guy?
Jackson Lamb: Maybe he went for a job interview without telling his boss. That’s grounds for murder.
Roddy Ho: It’s legwork. You need a donkey for that, and I’m a thoroughbred.
Jackson Lamb: You, Ho, are a massive horse’s c**k. But you’re right. I need a donkey to fetch those hard drives. Harper.
Min Harper: We’ve been seconded.
Jackson Lamb: Who by? Twats “R” Us?
River Cartwright: [to Min, referring to Webb] You’re going to work for that d**k after he f***ed me over?
Jackson Lamb: I don’t know. I think it shows excellent taste.
River Cartwright: Wait. So what do I do then?
Jackson Lamb: F*** off to the job center for all I care.
David Cartwright: If this is leading towards, “You’d be better off in a home,” I think I should warn you I once killed a man with a pair of shears.
River Cartwright: Wait. Really?
David Cartwright: No. But it’s never too late.
David Cartwright: I can’t see you in private intelligence.
River Cartwright: Well, luckily neither can the people in private intelligence, because to them I’m still the d**khead who crashed Stansted on a training exercise.
Jackson Lamb: That seat’s taken.
River Cartwright: Oh, yeah? By who?
Jackson Lamb: Gillian Anderson’s in the lav.
River Cartwright: Well, I imagine she’ll be a while throwing up after watching you eat.
Jackson Lamb: [to River] Do you know how much it hurt me to write you an even half-decent reference? And all for nothing. I mean, you’re still here. What you do, take a s**t in the wastepaper bin halfway through the interview?
Jackson Lamb: [to Katinsky] Is it really worth locking this place up? A burglary could improve it.
Roddy Ho: So, I am your PA?
River Cartwright: Only if it stands for “prickly a**hole”.
Roddy Ho: I don’t bicker. I play judo with words.
Min Harper: Harper. It’s Min Harper.
Kyril Asimov: You say it like, “Bond. James Bond.”
Diana Taverner: I saw you. You got here first then left to keep me waiting.
Jackson Lamb: Well, that’s because I knew you were watching and waiting, so you could arrive after me. What a pair we are. Made for each other.
Diana Taverner: Coats cleaned. Teeth fixed. Hair washed. I know it’s news for you.
Jackson Lamb: I’ve been busy lately. It’s possible I’ve let myself go.
Diana Taverner: I do this, and it’s done and dusted. Right?
Jackson Lamb: Absolutely. Wipe the slate clean. You might want to wipe your coat while you’re at it. I think you sat in some bird s**t.
Min Harper: [to Louisa, referring to the house] Bit out of our price range, I’d say. Unless we sell a couple of kidneys. Your kidneys.
Roddy Ho: Well, what you got there is a missing digit. Can you check it’s not the one stuck up your a**?
Louisa Guy: You deliberately didn’t tell me you were going out later so I’d still have sex with you, Min. Come on.
Min Harper: Woh. I mean, you’re crediting me with a level of calculation I do not possess.
Jackson Lamb: Sometimes the only way to work out why a trap has been set is to walk into it.
Jackson Lamb: They play a long game, the Russians. Have an incredible capacity for pain, and sacrifice, and grudges. F***ers never quit.
River Cartwright: I’ve been writing a piece about village life. And, well, Upshott just seemed like the perfect place to start really.
Kelly Tropper: Who do you write for? Insomniacs Weekly?
