Starring: Cate Blanchett, Kevin Hart, Jack Black, Jamie Lee Curtis, Ariana Greenblatt, Florian Munteanu, Haley Bennett, Édgar Ramírez, Gina Gershon
OUR RATING: ★★☆☆☆
Story: Sci-fi action comedy directed and co-written by Eli Roth, based on the video game franchise of the same name. Borderlands (2024) follows bounty hunter Lilith (Cate Blanchett) as she returns to her chaotic home planet, Pandora, to find the missing daughter of Atlas (Édgar Ramírez), the universe’s most powerful figure. She assembles a team of misfits, including mercenary Roland (Kevin Hart), demolitions expert Tiny Tina (Ariana Greenblatt), her protector Krieg (Florian Munteanu), scientist Tannis (Jamie Lee Curtis), and sarcastic robot Claptrap (Jack Black). Together, they face alien threats, ruthless bandits, and uncover Pandora’s explosive secret while fighting for the universe and each other.
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Best Borderlands Quotes
Tiny Tina: My dad sent you?
Roland: That’s right.
Tiny Tina: His shortest soldier?
Roland: Yeah, his shortest soldier to save his least funny daughter.
Lilith: I’m getting too old for this s**t. Bounty hunting? It’s for the young and stupid. Am I right?
Bartender: You really want me to answer that?
Lilith: I do not.
Claptrap: [to Lilith] For a second there, I thought you weren’t a horrible person. Phew! The world makes sense again.
Tiny Tina: Time to make it rain! With your body parts!
Claptrap: [to Lilith, referring to Tiny Tina] She seems deranged. You two have a lot in common. Only she’s smaller, nicer, cuter.
Tiny Tina: Ooh. Mine’s bigger!
Lilith: Actually, I’m not a scumbag vault hunter.
Claptrap: Actually, she’s a scumbag bounty hunter.
Roland: What did I tell you?
Tiny Tina: Minimal explosions!
Roland: No. I said no explosions!
Tiny Tina: [as they get splashed with water] It’s in my mouth!
Krieg: Sardine showers.
Roland: It’s pee. It’s pee. Now I got pee all in the middle of my truck.
Lilith: You call that a plan?
Roland: It worked, didn’t it? Feel free to applaud.
Claptrap: Yay for not dying!
Lilith: You stay here and keep watch.
Claptrap: Okay. But it’s you they don’t seem to trust. And who can blame them?
Tiny Tina: Roland didn’t kidnap me. He saved me.
Lilith: Saved you from what? A life of ease and plenty?
Tiny Tina: We have something they don’t, baby girl.
Lilith: Oh, let me guess. What? Spirit? Can-do attitude? The power of friendship?
Roland: A conscience.
Tannis: I left you with tradespeople.
Lilith: Oh. Yes. You mean the murderers and thieves on the mining ship.
Tannis: It’s what your mother wanted.
Lilith: She wanted me to learn how to kill by the age of ten?
Tannis: How to survive.
Tiny Tina: I can look after myself. Told you, I’m special.
Lilith: Aren’t we all?
Moxxi: My daddy always had a saying. Never trust a man who can’t hold his liquor.
Lilith: Is there any way out of here that doesn’t involve garbage?
Tannis: No.
Claptrap: I wouldn’t want anything bad to happen to each one of you in the most horrifying way possible.
Roland: These are the Psychos other psychos are afraid of.
Claptrap: Well, according to my calculations, the odds of a successful stealth operation in this scenario is zero percent? Wow! You never see that!
Claptrap: I am here because I want to be and not for a more justifiable reason, like trying to be a distraction. Even though it makes no sense for me to say what I’m about to say, and even though anyone rational would suspect it was just part of a crude plan, I have decided entirely on my own to say the following. Y’all b**ches need to eat your own butts with your poopy-mouth a**-faces until you die from loser poisoning like the stupid pus-crotches that you is.
Claptrap: Was that too much? It was too much, wasn’t it? What took it over the edge? Was it the “poopy-mouth a**-faces”?
Lilith: Well, we survived. So much for your zero percent.
Claptrap: What? I’m expelling the excess lead. Big bullet. Big bullet coming! There we go.
Roland: Can’t you do this another time?
Claptrap: This has to happen now. Don’t judge me!
Roland: What are you doing?
Tannis: I needed a gun!
Roland: So you ask for it, Tannis. Ask!
Roland: Alright, Bob. You ready to kick some a**? I knew you’d say that.
Claptrap: We’re not dead? I’m still enslaved? Drats.
Tannis: There is no salvation without sacrifice.
Roland: [emerging from under a pile of bodies] Worst orgy ever.
Claptrap: I’m dancing because you’re alive. Not because I thought you were dead.
Lilith: Heartwarming.
Lilith: Tina, memories are more powerful than anything Atlas could ever create. Now, you got one of me.
Roland: Well, it was fun while it lasted.
Krieg: Nobody kills me but me!
Claptrap: Tannis, you’re alive. I’m alive! This guy, not so much.
Lilith: I have something that a man like you will never have. Enough.
Lilith: You hear that?
Tiny Tina: What?
Lilith: That I think is what peace sounds like.
Claptrap: Whoops. Premature celebration. That’s never happened before.
Lilith: I’m a bit old, I think, to be setting myself on fire for your amusement.
Tiny Tina: You know you want to.
Lilith: Let me tell you everything you need to know about Pandora. She’s dangerous. She’s dirty. And she’s definitely a toxic waste dump. But, she’s my home.