Starring: Henry Cavill, Eiza González, Alan Ritchson, Alex Pettyfer, Hero Fiennes Tiffin, Babs Olusanmokun, Henrique Zaga, Til Schweiger, Henry Golding, Cary Elwes
OUR RATING: ★★★☆☆
Story: Period action comedy directed and co-written by Guy Ritchie. Inspired by true events based on declassified files of the British War Department, The Ministry Of Ungentlemanly Warfare (2024) centers on the first-ever special forces unit formed during WWII by Winston Churchill and military officials, including author Ian Fleming. This secret team of rogues uses unconventional tactics in a daring mission against the Nazis, ultimately influencing the development of the British SAS and modern Black Ops warefare.
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Best The Ministry Of Ungentlemanly Warfare Quotes
Gus March-Phillips: What do we have here? Gestapo.
Henry Hayes: How do you know?
Gus March-Phillips: The badder they are, the better they’re dressed. I really must get me one of those coats.
German R Boat Captain: Dirty drunken animal!
Anders Lassen: Guilty as charged.
German R Boat Captain: It’s been a while, but the last time someone laughed at me when I boarded their vessel, I gave them the choice. Either swim to shore, or take their chances on a burning ship. Hans and I wondered which option they’d choose, death by water or death by fire. Oddly, they chose both.
Gus March-Phillips: [as the other ship tries to shoot at them] Freddy, should we be worried?
Freddy Alvarez: Oh, I don’t think so, sir. It’s a rather large explosive, so I set a rather large fuse. I located the outside of the powder room, so when it goes bang, it really should go bang.
Gus March-Phillips [as the other ship explodes] Good work, Frederick.
Freddy Alvarez: Thank you, Captain.
Churchill: If we attack that colony, the rest of unoccupied Europe will join the N**is, and it’s only a question of time before we find ourselves frying big pink sausages wearing nothing but lederhosen.
Brigadier Gubbins ‘M’: Somewhat contentiously, I may have just the man, but rather inconveniently, he’s currently incarcerated at His Majesty’s pleasure. We may not like his attitude, but he’s bold, he’s a killer, and the men will follow him anywhere.
Gus March-Phillips: We both know that I’m not very popular with the administration.
Brigadier Gubbins ‘M’: The reason they find you unattractive is the very reason I find you attractive.
Gus March-Phillips: If I’m to do this, I’ll need my own team. You won’t like them. They’re all mad.
Brigadier Gubbins ‘M’: They’ll need to be.
Gus March-Phillips: I apologize for all the secrecy, chaps. But this is an unsanctioned, unofficial, and unauthorized mission. If we’re picked up by the Brits, we will all go to jail. If we’re picked up by the Germans, torture and death.
Marjorie Stewart: It’s one thing taking over the world, but do they have to take over the kitchen too? It’s all sausage, cabbage and black bread.
Heron: We’re between a rock and a hard place. If the Brits win the war, we’re stuck with fish and chips. If the Germans win the war, we’re stuck with this menu.
Train Waiter: So?
Marjorie Stewart: We’ll have the sausage, the cabbage, and the black bread please.
Churchill: If I thought that we could’ve achieved peace through surrendering, I’d have done it already.
Henry Hayes: [referring to the German soldiers] So what’s happened now then?
Freddy Alvarez: It looks like they’ve been plugged full of arrows, Haysey.
Henry Hayes: Well, where did the arrows go?
Freddy Alvarez: Straight through them.
Anders Lassen: [referring to the German soldiers] There were two more around the other side.
Henry Hayes: Where are they now?
Anders Lassen: Same place as these two. N**i heaven.
Gus March-Phillips: I have a great idea, Lassen. Why don’t you march off by yourself and fill those Germans full of arrows?
German Officer: [to the other soldiers] And so I said, “That is not a dog. That is my wife!”
Gus March-Phillips: [laughs] It’s very good.
[starts shooting the German soldiers]
Gus March-Phillips: [as an explosive goes off] Sounds like stealth mode is over.
Gus March-Phillips: Is that a heart, Lassen?
Anders Lassen: For the avoidance of doubt.
Freddy Alvarez: Bloody hell, what happened to your nipples?
Gus March-Phillips: You alright?
Geoffrey Appleyard: Couldn’t unplug me, could you? Battery’s still on.
Marjorie Stewart: That’s a lot more than the boys are expecting. A month ago, it was a dozen mechanics.
Heron: Six drunk sailors.
Marjorie Stewart: Two fat Spaniards.
Heron: And a N**i in a pear tree.
Heinrich Luhr: [in German] I am your brother. You are not my brother. Who are you?
Marjorie Stewart: [in German] I am your sister.
Heinrich Luhr: Bravo.
Marjorie Stewart: When the sly red cat barks at dawn, and kills just for her pleasure, who shares the meal the cat did steal when both looked on in pleasure
Geoffrey Appleyard: Our priority is not to be seen.
Henry Hayes: You mean, be seen again.
Geoffrey Appleyard: Again? Getting a little sloppy on us now, Gussy?
Gus March-Phillips: Remind me again how you found your nipples attached to a car battery.
Geoffrey Appleyard: Yes. Wasn’t my fault. Bad intelligence. Plus it was almost worth it to watch the heart-snatcher at work.
Anders Lassen: I’m better known as a lover than a fighter.
Freddy Alvarez: Jesus Christ! If that’s how you fight, I’d hate to see you love.
Anders Lassen: You don’t have to worry about that, you’re too pretty for me. Freddy, on the other hand…
Freddy Alvarez: You’d have to catch me first.
Anders Lassen: I do love to hunt.
Freddy Alvarez: You’d be lucky.
Anders Lassen: I’m really getting quite hot.
Marjorie Stewart: I fear your brilliant leader has mischaracterized the ancient tribe of Jahuda. Their ability to not only survive three thousand years with a boot on their neck, but to prosper in spite of it, I suspect it inspired satanic jealousy within him. In conclusion, it looks as though the lady doth protest too much.
Heinrich Luhr: Is there a cherry to go on this blasphemous cake, or have you finished?
Marjorie Stewart: I must confess, not only do I respect and admire the Jew, I am one.
Churchill: You were not chosen for your conspicuous honor or high ideals. You were chosen because you are the last resort. The mission you have been given is of a sort never before undertaken. It demands ruthless men, who will not hesitate to stoop beneath the conventions of war. Men who do not keep clean hands. Men like you. And yet, who still conspire in their own discordant harmony. Who know and yet do not care that they may never return. And who press onward not for glory, or for duty, or for me, but because you are men who will not stop until it is done. Godspeed, gentlemen.
Gus March-Phillips: The greedy little N**i won’t be satisfied with holding most of Europe, he’s after our own green and pleasant land.
Commander Hopkirk: Well, thank God you’re here with your little wooden battleship and your five-man army.
Marjorie Stewart: [referring to Kambili Kalu] So, he’s part pirate, part aristocrat? Chic.
Heron: He’s also a part of our solution.
Kambili Kalu: Why do I feel like I’ve gone from being the predator to the prey?
Geoffrey Appleyard: We’re outnumbered two hundred to five. There’s a few more soldiers than we anticipated. I think that we’re going to have to find ourselves a few more strapping lads.
Gus March-Phillips: If I had it my way, a shot’ll never be fired.
Kambili Kalu: And how often do you have it your way?
Gus March-Phillips: Depends on who you ask, old boy.
Marjorie Stewart: I’ve never taken a N**i to a party.
Heron: Just don’t end up at one of his parties.
Marjorie Stewart: Don’t worry about me. I’m going to have my own little party.
Gus March-Phillips: If you’re up for it, so are we. And you know what that means.
Kambili Kalu: A lot more blood and a lot more sweat.
Gus March-Phillips: Hopefully not any of ours, old boy.
Heinrich Luhr: I think now it’s time that the fox shows his den to the vixen.
Geoffrey Appleyard: I hope that’s not your blood, Lassen.
Anders Lassen: I hope so too.
Heinrich Luhr: [to Marjorie] I have to say, Fraulein, you were good. And you were sly. There are only two types of people that are as sly as the fox. The German and the Jew. And you are not German.
Heinrich Luhr: Now, I possess your hand, and for everything you have done to me, I will visit a thousand fold upon you. You understand me?
Marjorie Stewart: [as she reveals her gun and shoots him in the head] Yeah. But, no.
Gus March-Phillips: Marjorie. Overdressed and underdressed at the same time.
Brigadier Gubbins ‘M’: Bad news, they didn’t sink her. Good news, they stole her.
Churchill: What is to be done with this unruly company who do not obey orders? Who seem to have formed their own ministry of ungentlemanly warfare. From now on, they work for me.