Here’s our list of some festive fun, and sometimes sappy, Christmas movie quotes. Grab your hot cocoa and peruse and your leisure.
A – Z Christmas Movie Quotes
Arthur Christmas (2011)
Arthur: But there’s a child without a present!
Steve: Arthur, Christmas is not a time for emotion.
Grandsanta: I’ve seen this before. Sleigh fever, they call it. Pressure of Christmas sends a man doolally-tap. Santa Claus the Sixth got it, 1802. Every child that year got a sausage nailed to a piece of bark.
A Bad Moms Christmas (2017)
Amy: And how lame are the gifts that your family gives you?
Kiki: I spend months picking out the perfect gift for everyone in my family, and all I ever get is coupons for free back rubs.
Amy: Oh, that’s so wrong.
Amy: Let’s take Christmas back.
Carla: Let’s put the “ass” back in Christmass.
Bad Santa (2003)
The Kid: You are really Santa, right?
Willie: No, I’m an accountant. I wear this f***ing thing as a fashion statement, alright?
The Kid: Do you and Mrs. Santa have kids?
Willie: No, thank the f*** Christ.
The Kid: What about the elves?
Willie: Well, they stay with Mrs. Santa. I get them on the weekends.
Willie: Have a seat. What can Santy Claus get you?
Penguin Girl: A penguin. It doesn’t have to be alive.
A Charlie Brown Christmas (1965)
Charlie Brown: Rats. Nobody sent me a Christmas card today. I almost wish there weren’t a holiday season. I know nobody likes me. Why do we have to have a holiday season to emphasize it?
Linus Van Pelt: I never thought it was such a bad little tree. It’s not bad at all really. Maybe it just needs a little love.
The Christmas Chronicles (2018)
Santa Claus: I mean, who can eat millions of cookies in one night and not get fat, right? Well, I can.
Kate: Can you go, “Ho ho ho?”
Santa Claus: I don’t go, “Ho ho ho.” That’s a myth. Fake news.
Teddy: I mean, can’t you just like wave your hand and Jedi mind trick the cops?
Santa Claus: I’m Santa Claus, Teddy, not Yoda.
Christmas with the Kranks (2004)
Nora Krank: [reading the newspaper] “The home of Mr. and Mrs. Luther Krank is rather dark this Christmas. While the rest of their neighbors on Hemlock Street are decorating and preparing for Santa, the Kranks are skipping Christmas. They’re preparing for a cruise, according to unnamed sources. No tree, no lights, and no Frosty up on the roof, and the only house on Hemlock to keep Frosty hidden in the basement.” How do they know where Frosty is?
Luther Krank: They have spies everywhere.
Deck the Halls (2006)
Kelly Finch: You just don’t get it! Christmas traditions are born in those little chocolate milk and french fry moments. And you can’t control it. We don’t fit in the tiny little boxes on your Christmas calendar.
Die Hard (1988)
Theo: Alright. Listen up, guys. ‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, except the four a**holes coming in the rear in standard two-by-two cover formation.
Disney’s A Christmas Carol (2009)
Fred: Merry Christmas, Uncle! God save you.
Scrooge: Bah! Humbug!
Fred: Christmas a humbug? Uncle! You don’t mean that.
Scrooge: Merry Christmas. What reason have you to be merry? You’re poor enough.
Fred: What right have you to be so dismal? You’re rich enough.
Scrooge: Spirit, I will honor Christmas in my heart and try to keep it all the year. I will not shut out the lessons of the past, nor present, nor future.
Gimbel’s Santa: And what can I get you for Christmas?
Buddy: Paul, don’t tell him what you want. He’s a liar.
Gimbel’s Santa: Let the kid talk.
Buddy: You disgust me. How can you live with yourself?
Gimbel’s Santa: Just cool it, Zippy.
Buddy: You sit on a throne of lies.
Buddy: You smell like beef and cheese. You don’t smell like Santa.
Buddy: We elves try to stick to the four main food groups. Candy, candy canes, candy corns, and syrup.
Skinny Man: I’ve come for your head, Fatman!
Chris: You think you’re the first? You think I got this job because I’m fat and jolly?
Four Christmases (2008)
Eric: You lie to your families at Christmas time?
Brad: Well, you really can’t spell families without lies.
Howard: Look, I don’t want to speak ill of your mother on Christmas. But she’s nothing but a common street w**re.
Fred Claus (2007)
Fred Claus: But all that matters is that each of the kids get a toy. That they all have something that they can open when they wake up in the morning. Most importantly, they all know that there’s somebody who’s thinking about them.
Fred Claus: You know, Nick, there’s been one thing that’s been eating at me since I’ve been here. That Naughty-Nice List that you got? There’s no naughty kids, Nick. They’re all good kids. But some of them are scared. And some of them don’t feel listened to. Some of them had some pretty tough breaks too. But every kid deserves a present on Christmas.
Willie: [as Fred is driving the sled] Are you sure you’ve never done this? Because you’re driving like an absolute pro who makes a lot of mistakes.
Fred Claus: The world is what you make it. And it all starts with what you make of yourself.
Kate Beringer: God! Say you hate Washington’s Birthday, or Thanksgiving, and nobody cares. But say you hate Christmas, everybody makes you feel like you’re a leper.
Narrator: And the Grinch raised his glass, and led the Whos in a toast.
Grinch: To kindness and love, the things we need most.
Jackson: Human beings aren’t meant to be alone on the holidays. We actually need warmth, companionship, and someone to drunk-mock strangers with at parties.
Sloane: I do enjoy drunk-mocking strangers at parties.
The Holiday (2006)
Miles: It is Christmas Eve, and we are going to sit out on that patio, going to make ourselves a little fire, going to pop some bubbly, and we are going to celebrate being young and being alive.
Home Alone (1990)
Kate: This is Christmas! The season of perpetual hope.
Kevin: This is extremely important. Will you please tell him that instead of presents this year, I just want my family back.
Harry: Merry Christmas, little fella. We know that you’re in there, and that you’re all alone.
Marv: Yeah, come on, kid. Open up. It’s Santy Claus, and his elf.
Home Alone 2: Lost in New York (1992)
Gangster: Merry Christmas, you filthy animal. And a happy New Year.
Kevin: You can mess with a lot of things, but you can’t mess with kids on Christmas.
Kate: What kind of hotel allows a child to check in alone?
Desk Clerk: The boy had a very convincing story.
Kate: What kind of idiots do you have working here?
Desk Clerk: The finest in New York.
Kevin: I know I don’t deserve a Christmas, even if I did do a good deed. I don’t want any presents. Instead, I want to take back every mean thing I ever said to my family, even if they don’t take back the things that they said. I don’t care. I love all of them. Including Buzz. If it isn’t possible I can see all of them, could I just see my mother? I’ll never want another thing as long as I live. I just want my mother. I know I won’t see her tonight, but promise me I can see her again. Sometime. Anytime. Even if it’s just once, and only for a couple of minutes. I just need to tell her I’m sorry.
How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000)
Grinch: Blast this Christmas music! It’s joyful and triumphant.
Grinch: Alright. You’re a reindeer. Here’s your motivation. Your name is Rudolph. You’re a freak with a red nose, and nobody likes you. Then one day, Santa picks you, and you save Christmas. No, forget that part. We’ll improvise. Just keep it kinda loosey-goosey. You hate Christmas! You’re going to steal it! Saving Christmas was a lousy ending. Way too commercial. Action!
[Max pops the red nose off]
Grinch: Brilliant! You reject your own nose because it represents the glitter of commercialism! Why didn’t I think of that? Cut, print, check the gate. Moving on.
Grinch: Maybe Christmas, he thought, doesn’t come from a store. Maybe Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.
It’s a Wonderful Life (1946)
Clarence: Strange, isn’t it? Each man’s life touches so many other lives. And when he isn’t around, he leaves an awful hole, doesn’t he?
Zuzu Bailey: Every time a bell rings, an angel gets his wings.
Jingle All The Way (1996)
Myron Larabee: See, I have to shop late because it’s the busiest time of year for me. All these important Christmas letters that people send to folks, they don’t even talk to but once a year. Not to mention relatives sending presents they’re going to have to send back anyway. How many toiletry kits does a man need? And how about those stupid letters from kids to Santa at the North Pole? “Dear Santa, could you send me a bike and a Slinky?” No! Your father’s been laid off! And as if I didn’t have enough pressure in my life, my son sends me out for some like goofy-butt toy, some fruity robot named Turtle Man.
Klaus: A true selfless act always sparks another.
Kate: We are so lucky to be able to help each other, in little ways, and in big ways. The reason we are lucky is because helping each other is, in fact, what makes us happy. That’s all.
Love Actually (2003)
Mia: I’ll just be hanging around the mistletoe, hoping to be kissed.
Mark: [shows Juliet his sign cards] “But for now, let me say. Without hope or agenda, just because it’s Christmas. And at Christmas you tell the truth. To me, you are perfect. And my wasted heart will love you, until you look like this…”
[holds up a photo of a mummy]
Billy Mack: I realized that Christmas is the time to be with the people you love.
Billy Mack:And I realized that, as dire chance and fateful cock-up would have it, here I am, mid fifties, and without knowing it, I’ve gone and spent most of my adult life with a chubby employee. And, much as it grieves me to say it, it might be that the people I love is, in fact, you.
Joe: Well, this is a surprise.
Billy Mack: Yeah.
Joe: Ten minutes at Elton John’s, you’re as gay as a Maypole.
The Man Who Invented Christmas (2017)
Charles Dickens: It is a Christmas book because Christmas is, or ought to be, the one time of year when men and women open their shut-up hearts, and think of the people below them, as if they really were fellow passengers to the grave, and not another race of creatures altogether.
Charles Dickens: No one is useless in this world who lightens the burden of another.
Miracle on 34th Street (1947)
Kris Kringle: Christmas isn’t just a day. It’s a frame of mind.
Fred Gailey: Faith is believing in things when common sense tells you not to.
Miracle on 34th Street (1994)
Kris Kringle: I’m not just a whimsical figure who wears a charming suit and affects a jolly demeanor. You know, I’m a symbol. I’m a symbol of the human ability to be able to suppress the selfish and hateful tendencies that rule the major part of our lives. If you can’t believe, if you can’t accept anything on faith, then you’re doomed for a life dominated by doubt.
The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992)
Fozziewig: Here is my Christmas speech. “Thank you all, and Merry Christmas.”
Jacob Marley: That was the speech?
Robert Marley: It was dumb!
Jacob Marley: It was obvious!
Robert Marley: It was pointless!
Jacob Marley: It was short.
Together: I loved it!
Ghost of Christmas Present: [singing] It’s true wherever you find love, it feels like Christmas.
Bob Cratchit: Life is made up of meetings and partings. That is the way of it.
National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (1989)
Ellen: Well, I don’t know what to say, except it’s Christmas, and we’re all in misery.
Clark: Where do you think you’re going? Nobody’s leaving. Nobody’s walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No! No! We’re all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. We’re going to press on, and we’re going to have the hap-hap-happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny f***ing Kaye. And when Santa squeezes his fat white a** down that chimney tonight, he’s going to find the jolliest bunch of a**holes this side of the nuthouse.
The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)
Jack Skellington: [singing] There’s children throwing snowballs instead of throwing heads. They’re busy building toys, and absolutely no one’s dead.
Jack Skellington: [singing] Just because I cannot see it, doesn’t mean I can’t believe it.
Noelle Kringle: I know Christmas can’t solve all our problems. But it gives us hope. It inspires us to be nice. That might not seem like much, but when someone’s sad, or just lonely, it can be the biggest thing in the world.
Drosselmeyer: It’s Christmas Eve. It’s going to be a magical night.
Clay Vanstone: God, I know I haven’t asked you for much in this life. Granted, I was born rich. And white. And male. And straight. Except for that one time. But that’s Las Vegas. But tonight I need you to bless this party. This party has to rock.
The Polar Express (2004)
The Conductor: But sometimes seeing is believing. And sometimes the most real things in the world are the things we can’t see.
Santa Claus: There’s no greater gift than friendship.
Santa Claus: This bell is a wonderful symbol of the spirit of Christmas, as am I. Just remember, the true spirit of Christmas lies in your heart.
The Santa Clause (1994)
Charlie: Neil doesn’t believe in Santa.
Scott Calvin: Well, Neil’s head comes to a point.
Scott Calvin: And who gave you permission to tell Charlie there’s no Santa Claus? I think if we’re going to destroy our son’s illusions, I should be a part of it.
Scott Calvin: Stay away from those things. They’re reindeer. You don’t know where they’ve been. They all look like they’ve got key lime disease.
Scott Calvin: I see it, but I don’t believe it.
Elf-Judy: You’re missing the point.
Scott Calvin: What is the point?
Elf-Judy: Seeing isn’t believing. Believing is seeing.
Neal: What about the reindeer? Have you ever seen a reindeer fly?
Neal: Well, I haven’t.
Charlie: Have you ever seen a million dollars?
Charlie: Just because you haven’t seen it, doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.
Frank Cross: It’s Christmas Eve! It’s the one night of the year when we all act a little nicer, we smile a little easier, we cheer a little more. For a couple of hours out of the whole year, we are the people that we always hoped we would be.
Frank Cross: If you believe in this spirit thing, the miracle will happen. And then you’ll want it to happen again tomorrow. You won’t be one of these b****rds who says, “Christmas is once a year, it’s a fraud.” It’s not! It can happen every day! You’ve just got to want that feeling! And if you like it, and you want it, you’ll get greedy for it! You’ll want it every day of your life, and it can happen to you! I don’t… I believe in it now! I believe it’s going to happen to me now! I’m ready for it! And it’s great. It’s a good feeling. It’s really better than I’ve felt in a long time. I’m ready. Have a merry Christmas, everybody.
Trading Places (1983)
Randolph Duke: Ezra, right on time. I bet you thought I’d forgotten your Christmas bonus. There you are.
Ezra: Five dollars. Maybe I’ll go to the movies, by myself.
Mortimer Duke: Half of it is from me.
Ezra: Thank you, Mr Mortimer.
Louis Winthorpe III: Louis: Looking good, Billy Ray!
Billy Ray Valentine: Feeling good, Louis!
Tyler Perry’s A Madea Christmas (2013)
Madea: This is the story of the nativities. Little baby Jesus was born. He was born to the Virgin Mary J. Blige. And as Mary was on tour, she met this man named Joe Manganiello, who played a werewolf.
While You Were Sleeping (1995)
Lucy: You know what, Jack? I’ve had a really lousy Christmas. You’ve just managed to kill my New Year’s. If you come back on Easter, you can burn down my apartment.